ForHer Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Ling term relationship. He left when our baby was 6 weeks(he still sees her) We have been broken up for 3 weeks. Two weeks ago a new girl started at his work (after out breakup) two days ago I found out they're dating. She's skinner and tanner then me. :/ but everything tells me this is a rebound to help him cope, because I assume he has to feel guilty with leaving the family( he left because of my controlling behavior after baby) I always thought we get back together after he thought things through but now he's with her. Is it to help him move on. Does it bother him having a family and now a girlfriend. Is there anything I can do to make him want to come back. This is the hardest thing I've gone through. Is it a rebound? Will it last? Does he miss us being a family?
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I am really sorry you are going through this. I cannot imagine the desperation of being abandoned with a 6 week old baby. I hope you have family and friends to emotionally support you. A real committed man does NOT abandon his mate and his child of 6 weeks then start dating after 3 weeks. This man was always a loser, now you're just seeing the extend of it. You need to let him go. Contact a lawyer and file for child support and full custody NOW. You need to get your anxiety under control. Your baby can feel your stress. You need to clam down and make that baby your number 1 priority. That baby needs to bond with you if you don't allow it to happen it can be extremely negative for the years to come.
Fondue Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 It is probably a rebound. With that said, it doesn't mean he'll eventually come back to you. Now that he has a baby (it is his, right?), he will be a part of your life (and hopefully the baby's) forever. That you cannot change. But it does not mean you guys are going to be a family. He's probably escaping your controlling behavior and experiencing if life is greener on the other side. THis new girl is likely just that. Short fling. Again, it doesn't mean he'll be back with you later on.
Author ForHer Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 I did file child support. And yes those six weeks I was in mama bear mode. I feel so blind sides and abandoned. And just can't understand how someone could be so cruel. Coping was hard enough when he left. But now knowing when the baby's with me he's out drinking with his new girlfriend his heartbreaking. I was giving Ativan that's helped a lot. My family don't understand why I haven't moved on yet. Sadly the only way I cope and have good days is think he'll come back. I know that's pathetic. I've moved on from letting him see me me cry and beg and entered LC which is hard to maintain. Feeling like everything was a lie and he moved on so easily and has forgotten us.
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I did file child support. And yes those six weeks I was in mama bear mode. I feel so blind sides and abandoned. And just can't understand how someone could be so cruel. Coping was hard enough when he left. But now knowing when the baby's with me he's out drinking with his new girlfriend his heartbreaking. I was giving Ativan that's helped a lot. My family don't understand why I haven't moved on yet. Sadly the only way I cope and have good days is think he'll come back. I know that's pathetic. I've moved on from letting him see me me cry and beg and entered LC which is hard to maintain. Feeling like everything was a lie and he moved on so easily and has forgotten us. Your family wants you to move on already because they know he's a bad man and he's been a bad man for a long time. Now you need to hang tight and let time do its magic. It will pass. Soon you won't believe you ever cried for this man. Spend time with your love ones, get involved in new mom's groups. Don't hesitate to ask your mom or friends to babysit so you can get proper rest. Remember it will get better, it always does. 1
Author ForHer Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 I pick her up in a couple hours any advice on how I should act? It truly amazes me that there's complete strangers willing to help me through this. 1
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I pick her up in a couple hours any advice on how I should act? It truly amazes me that there's complete strangers willing to help me through this. Pick up your baby. Ask how she was during during her visit and leave. Stay civil. Don't talk about anything but your daughter and what information needs to be exchanged about her. 2
Emilia Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 6 weeks of controlling behaviour is nothing. Someone committed wouldn't leave you so quickly. This isn't your fault.
Smarty Pants Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Why do you want someone back who abandoned you and your child? Huge character flaw that you should be focusing on, not wondering if he'll come back.
Author ForHer Posted June 28, 2014 Author Posted June 28, 2014 Just a little update. He broke up with her after a week, said it was causing to any problems and has been way more light hearted and joking around trying to text me. So now that the rebounds over I'm going with LC
Recommended Posts