Politely declining bigger women

[BlueIris]

I find it humorous some of the posters in this thread berating men for not wanting to be with a fat woman.

 

I find it shocking that anyone at all thinks they have the right to judge anyone else's criteria! It's ridiculous. That thinking alone is a disqualifier to me.

 

I walked out on a date with a handsome athletic man the other night who said such repulsive idiotic things I couldn't tolerate it any more. I put cash on the table to cover the bill, smiled politely, said I had to go, caused no scene. He was livid and text-bombed me. How dare I walk away from a "guy like him"? Hey, they're everywhere.

[ktya]

I find it shocking that anyone at all thinks they have the right to judge anyone else's criteria! It's ridiculous. That thinking alone is a disqualifier to me.

 

Yeah. To the fatties in this thread who are berating men for not wanting to be with a fat girl....

 

That greasy, slimy guy who doesnt shower who is mostly bald and his profile picture shows him with a bunch of firearms with "Born to Die" tattooed across his chest that POF uses as an example of a bad profile pic... I'm sure he deserves to be loved.

 

How about the fatties go ask him on a date? I'm sure he "deserves to be loved" just like anyone else, right?

 

Even an ex con needs to be loved.

 

This is of course tongue in cheek but its needing to be said.

[TigerLilly78]

Its always amazing how words get twisted and the claws come out when one stands up to ignorance I find it funny. Maybe im wrong but I didn't see were anyone said that fit men have to want to date overweight women? If anything the opposite was said in that every one has a right to date or not date who they want. Sigh this thread goes to show you weight can be gained or lost but a negative mind set is allot harder to overcome im glad im open minded and I don't need judge others..

[Glinda.Good]

So there for a very skinny man doesn't deserve a very attractive women because maybe he is to skinny? or a short man dose not deserve to date a tall women? just trying to get this right or dose the stereo type only apply to over weight people? people deserve to want what ever they want some times they get it some times they don't but to sit there and say they don't deserve the right to desire something is wrong..

 

I think the problem is your choice of the word "deserve," which is synonymous with "entitled to," pretty much.

 

Nobody "deserves" much of anything, IMO. But EVERYBODY does deserve to have their won preferences, and to stick to them if they so choose, even if it leaves them lonely. That includes fat women.

 

I can't believe the attitude that a fat girl would be so overwhelmed with gratitude that some brah would deign to go out with her. Just because she is fat, she is highly capable of not liking a guy.

[Glinda.Good]

They don't have to do anything. Fat people can insist on dating only fit people all they want. The hypocrisy entertains me anyway.

 

That is NOT hypocritical. It is called a PREFERENCE. A person (women specifically, in this thread) is not a hypocrite for liking what she likes, even if she is fat. She may not get what she wants, but she is no hypocrite for wanting it.

 

You know what, I am quite sure that plenty of the guys around here who are always drawing the line at dating fat girls, and insisting on hot girls, specific boob sizes, etc. are not exactly walking gods themselves. Yet, they are entitled to their preferences.

[TigerLilly78]

I think the problem is your choice of the word "deserve," which is synonymous with "entitled to," pretty much.

 

Nobody "deserves" much of anything, IMO. But EVERYBODY does deserve to have their won preferences, and to stick to them if they so choose, even if it leaves them lonely. That includes fat women.

 

I can't believe the attitude that a fat girl would be so overwhelmed with gratitude that some brah would deign to go out with her. Just because she is fat, she is highly capable of not liking a guy.

 

I think your right and like I said I think some jumped on that word but in the end the truth came out that its really not that exact word but merely the idea that a overweight girl could date a fit man that really angers some.

 

Also im listing to people going on about how they use to be fat and have no simpathey for fatties. Well good for you but no one wants simpathey simply basic basic human respect. You don't have to like me but im not going to stand for disrespect just cause im visually unappealing to you.

 

You weren't happy with yourself you changed it awesome some are happy with themselves and don't want to change and there nothing wrong with that.

 

If you purely don't like overweight people because of how they look and will deny them respect on that fact alone that's fine but own it even if it makes you look shallow or ignorant to some..but no one wants to own it they just want to take digs or quote health statistics..

[TigerLilly78]

I'm pretty sure I can speak for everyone here when I say that I don't care who you date, or what your preferences are. What I pointed out repeatedly is the fact that you keep saying that you "deserve" or are "entitled" to date a fit person. No one is deserving of, or entitled to date any other person. That is my point, but you can't seem to get it.

 

 

 

So you're saying it's shallow or ignorant to not like overweight people now? Please, tell me more.

 

 

 

You say you don't judge others, but you just got done calling others ignorant for disagreeing with you.

I think we have covered the word "deserved" and ive explained my view on that..

 

Again your trying to pick apart my words to ether start an argument or some how prove me wrong to make yourself look right im not really sure? but to me this is not about a right or wrong thing its about basic respect..picking apart words is not going to change that fact im sorry if my posts upset you..

 

I think when people belittle or deny others the right to be happy solely based on their looks then yes that is shallow and ignorant I wouldn't know what other word to use..again that's my opinion maybe your is different..

[TigerLilly78]

What if a fat guy would be happy to date you? Is it shallow or ignorant of you to deny their happiness by refusing to date him because he is fat, and you only want to date fit men?

 

 

And here in lies the irony of this thread the man I am interested in is what most would maybe consider a bigger guy at over 220. I don't care hes that size and I wouldn't care if he was a "fit" guy. I care about him because of the person he is..I never said I only want to date fit men I merely defended the right for every one to date who they want to..

[Elle1975]

I am going to be honest, I wouldn't date someone obese, unless they wanted to lose weight. I find some + size men attractive, it's not about that. While I understand that we can be fat and healthy, it's usually not the case. I would be worried about him dropping of a heart attack and leaving me alone.

 

Yes, skinny people can also have heart attacks, I get that.. but honestly how many obese people get to be really old and somewhat healthy (as healthy as one can be ...)

 

By all means I am not super skinny, I have lost weight but I surely could lose another 15 pounds to be considered slender. I am just concerned by how much a body can take before everything goes to hell.

 

So, to me, it's about wanting the person I love to be with me for as long as possible.

[Omei]

People can date whoever the heck they want and prefer case closed....and yes anyone is allowed to want or chase what they feel they deserve in a partner no matter what they look like.

[Under The Radar]

Damn right.

 

 

The day cloning is invented ...... I'm taking myself out for a cup of coffee .

[aprilisi]

good lord, this is still such a sore subject

 

I am a big girl too and "working on it". Losing weight is damn hard. I've always been fat, expect to always be.

 

I don't think I deserve anything. I doubt many women do. Just like most young men don't think they deserve a blonde who is 5'6 and a size 6. No wait, there are at dozens of boards full of men fussing about PU artists and that girls don't like them.

 

So what if big girls are attracted to these types of guys? Doesn't hurt ya'll any. All my relationships have been skinnier men. I am 37 and a big guy has never approached me. Never. They all want smaller girls. I have come on to bigger guys, but nothing. One guy looked to be over 400 ibs told me on POF that he didn't date fatties.

 

Talk about irony.

[ktya]

Its always amazing how words get twisted and the claws come out when one stands up to ignorance I find it funny. Maybe im wrong but I didn't see were anyone said that fit men have to want to date overweight women? If anything the opposite was said in that every one has a right to date or not date who they want. Sigh this thread goes to show you weight can be gained or lost but a negative mind set is allot harder to overcome im glad im open minded and I don't need judge others..

 

You have a lot of gall. Ignorance???

 

I used to be fat, severely obese fat. Dont tell me for one second you take your clothes off, look in the damn mirror and love it. Thats ignorant in and of itself. Fatness is something that takes years to develop through poor eating and exercise habits ant takes roughly the same amount of time to undo as it took to develop.

 

If someone didnt ever shower or brush their teeth and liked clean people would you take the same tangent? Fatness and obesity is a sign of poor health just like poor hygeine. Dont even try to deny it, sugar coat it and pretend the moral high ground in that someone who doesnt like someone who hasnt taken their health seriously is "ignorant".

 

The ideal bmi is 20-25. If you are even looking "fattie" from an OLD profile picture you are probably 30-40 because women are brilliant at hiding their flaws.

 

Thats not just less than perfect. Thats called obese and it is beyond hoping to drop a few pounds to harden your figure. Its actually a health problem that will shorten your life and set you up for potential hospital visits.

 

Im not "ignorant" because i refuse to date a fat woman, ever again. Ive done it several times, looking for that "diamond in the rough". It doesnt exist. A person is fat, man or woman, because they do not take care of themselves. It makes them unattractive physically and they will have to deal with those choices. The reality is fat people make those poor choices on a daily basis which is why they mighr be referred to as a "fatty".

 

It is the fatty who is ignorant. Ignorant that they can drink a diet coke instead of a 140 calorie regular one. Who could choose to eat a steak and salad instead of a bowl of pasta. Who could go for a walk to the store instead of driving. I could go on but you catch my drift.

 

They are killing themselves. Unfortunately they are killing themselves with food instead of something that would actually give them a rush like crack cocaine or methamphetamine. Killing themselves slowly for little rush instead of quickly for actual euphoria.

 

Sure, fat people are people too, they are not ingrates or sub human. But they are kidding themselves if they think for one second that they havent caused this grief upon themselves.

 

Pumping iron is not repeatedly moving the fork from the plate to your mouth.

 

You dont need to starve yourself to death to lose weight. Amp up the protein, cut th carbs and max out the vegetables and you can drop pounds super fast without even exercising.

 

Dont give me this bull that you love being overweight. If you love being overweight your a sadistic person that nobody should seriously date because slowly killing yourself on purpose is not a healthy or sane choice.

 

I was fat once. Im never going there again. Dont pretend that i dont know where you are now. Change your diet and habits and fix it, stop enabling your poor.choices and do something about it.

[letmoc]

Your hatred of overweight people is over the top. Most people who are not overweight (like myself) don't even give it that much thought one way or the other.

[ktya]

Comes from experience.

 

I was severely obese.

 

Lost it all.

 

No empathy whatsoever because its not actually that hard to lose once you put your mind to it.

 

Anyone who says they love being obese is kidding themselves.

Edited June 26, 2014 by ktya
Typo

[ktya]

Btw if any fat people reading this thread want to lose weight and want some help pm me and i will point you in the right direction. It will cost you nothing, no gym memberships, no expensive additives no crazy regimes.

 

You will drop inches like wildfire the good old fashioned way through healthy eating and you will not starve to death.

 

There is no reason to be fat ass. You can eat good food like a champ and still lose weight. Ill help. Ive been there, it sucks. Just dont make excuses and enable yourself.

[TigerLilly78]

You have a lot of gall. Ignorance???

 

I used to be fat, severely obese fat. Dont tell me for one second you take your clothes off, look in the damn mirror and love it. Thats ignorant in and of itself. Fatness is something that takes years to develop through poor eating and exercise habits ant takes roughly the same amount of time to undo as it took to develop.

 

If someone didnt ever shower or brush their teeth and liked clean people would you take the same tangent? Fatness and obesity is a sign of poor health just like poor hygeine. Dont even try to deny it, sugar coat it and pretend the moral high ground in that someone who doesnt like someone who hasnt taken their health seriously is "ignorant".

 

The ideal bmi is 20-25. If you are even looking "fattie" from an OLD profile picture you are probably 30-40 because women are brilliant at hiding their flaws.

 

Thats not just less than perfect. Thats called obese and it is beyond hoping to drop a few pounds to harden your figure. Its actually a health problem that will shorten your life and set you up for potential hospital visits.

 

Im not "ignorant" because i refuse to date a fat woman, ever again. Ive done it several times, looking for that "diamond in the rough". It doesnt exist. A person is fat, man or woman, because they do not take care of themselves. It makes them unattractive physically and they will have to deal with those choices. The reality is fat people make those poor choices on a daily basis which is why they mighr be referred to as a "fatty".

 

It is the fatty who is ignorant. Ignorant that they can drink a diet coke instead of a 140 calorie regular one. Who could choose to eat a steak and salad instead of a bowl of pasta. Who could go for a walk to the store instead of driving. I could go on but you catch my drift.

 

They are killing themselves. Unfortunately they are killing themselves with food instead of something that would actually give them a rush like crack cocaine or methamphetamine. Killing themselves slowly for little rush instead of quickly for actual euphoria.

 

Sure, fat people are people too, they are not ingrates or sub human. But they are kidding themselves if they think for one second that they havent caused this grief upon themselves.

 

Pumping iron is not repeatedly moving the fork from the plate to your mouth.

 

You dont need to starve yourself to death to lose weight. Amp up the protein, cut th carbs and max out the vegetables and you can drop pounds super fast without even exercising.

 

Dont give me this bull that you love being overweight. If you love being overweight your a sadistic person that nobody should seriously date because slowly killing yourself on purpose is not a healthy or sane choice.

 

I was fat once. Im never going there again. Dont pretend that i dont know where you are now. Change your diet and habits and fix it, stop enabling your poor.choices and do something about it.

 

Actually yes I do like myself even with clothes off im sorry you didn't have the self easteam to feel the same way when you were over weight. Obivisely it scared you deeply your outburst here clearly shows that. I think you need to work on your anger issues my friend that's not exactly healthy ether..just saying..

 

Your hatred of overweight people is over the top. Most people who are not overweight (like myself) don't even give it that much thought one way or the other.

 

Agreed its like were suppose to just sit there and take it cause we are apparently less then human..and when we don't how dare we..or its just not possible for us to be happy or have a positive self image..

 

Btw if any fat people reading this thread want to lose weight and want some help pm me and i will point you in the right direction. It will cost you nothing, no gym memberships, no expensive additives no crazy regimes.

 

You will drop inches like wildfire the good old fashioned way through healthy eating and you will not starve to death.

 

There is no reason to be fat ass. You can eat good food like a champ and still lose weight. Ill help. Ive been there, it sucks. Just dont make excuses and enable yourself.

 

Im good thanks as I say I don't need to lose weight to be happy with who or what I am I am a smart caring beautiful women with an open mind and a bright future im good.. again im sorry your life was so miserable at one point no one should ever be that unhappy that it makes them this bitter..

[ktya]

Ok. Keep drinking that kool-aid.

 

Dont bullsht me. If you could drop to a healthy BMI in 4 months i know youd want to. Ive offered to show you how without costing you a dime and in private.

 

With that attitude you have completely invalidated your own argument to the OP. You are overweight because you choose to be.

 

When you choose not to be, you will not be so passionate about insisting that others accept your choice to be unhealthy.

 

Go ahead, be unhealthy. Just dont expect others to find your choices attractive. I didnt. I changed. I dealt with it, and it was a lot easier than i thought it would be.

 

Ill never date a fattie ever again for those reasons. Its a choice, not some bs like genetics or big boned or slow metabolism or any of the other run on the mill excuses. Its a lack of effort to change it, thats all.

 

I was there. I lived it. You cant pull the wool over my eyes. You could be thin in 6 months and never go to the gym once. Pm when you want to change and ill show you how for free. No pills, no diets, no starving, no gimmicks.

[TigerLilly78]

Ok. Keep drinking that kool-aid.

 

Dont bullsht me. If you could drop to a healthy BMI in 4 months i know youd want to. Ive offered to show you how without costing you a dime and in private.

 

With that attitude you have completely invalidated your own argument to the OP. You are overweight because you choose to be.

 

When you choose not to be, you will not be so passionate about insisting that others accept your choice to be unhealthy.

 

Go ahead, be unhealthy. Just dont expect others to find your choices attractive. I didnt. I changed. I dealt with it, and it was a lot easier than i thought it would be.

 

Ill never date a fattie ever again for those reasons. Its a choice, not some bs like genetics or big boned or slow metabolism or any of the other run on the mill excuses. Its a lack of effort to change it, thats all.

 

I was there. I lived it. You cant pull the wool over my eyes. You could be thin in 6 months and never go to the gym once. Pm when you want to change and ill show you how for free. No pills, no diets, no starving, no gimmicks.

 

Your right it is a choice to accept and love myself as I am one im good with. I never asked anyone to "find my choices attractive" or that anyone has to date me just basic human respect again I will decline your offer cause it doesn't matter if im thin or big in six month's its not going to change who I am as a person..

 

edited to add Im not sure were I told the OP that but ok..alot of things I never said have made their way into the recent posts shrugs..go figure..

Edited June 26, 2014 by TigerLilly78

[martaldn]

everybody is free to date whoever they want to but being overweight is not attractive.

like being a drug user is not attractive or being an alcoholic..

I dont want to be labelled ignorant just because I am not attracted to a category of people that decided to choose an unhealthy lifestyle.. be overweight, like other excess are wrong for the simply reason that you can die from it and people should think about that BEFORE everything else and before start calling whoever doesnt agree with them, ignorant or narrow minded ect ect ect. being super skinny is exactly the same thing, it is unhealthy and it is not attractive. saying this I am not saying that overweight people doesnt deserve happiness and if you are happy with your own skin then what is the problem if there will be part of the population who wont find you attractive? you will always find another part that will be.

I have been overweight and I had acne ( still have it ) and I have never had a go to guys that didn't find my spots attractive sorry - or called them ignorant, fortunately it is not cancer so thanks god those things still can be cure so what is wrong in making an effort and find a solution if you think that could help your self esteem and maybe make you more happy?

[Elle1975]

Back to the topic.. We agree that no matter what we look like, we should date whoever we want.. so a "thanks but that's not what I am looking for" would suffice.

[aprilisi]

I for one am ashamed of myself as a fatty. But losing weight isn't as easy as some of you make it sound. And just because the pounds slid off you "when you put your mind to it" doesn't mean it will work for someone else. Remember, everybody is different.

 

I have lost 90 in 2 years but still have a ways to go. I've always been overweight but how did I get up to my origian horribly obese weight? Depression. My mom, my dad, my uncle and 2 beloved pets died in a two year period. Since everybody is different what did I do to cope? I ate. Some people have sex or shop to cope. Some may go to a therapist or walk. Yes, I made horrible choices, but it was my choice. I don't need some hypocrrit online telling me that basically I suck and being fat is a choice and how easy it is to lose. Its not. Its damn hard.

This weight gain took 4 years, more than half of that is off now. There are also medical reasons for weight gain. Its not always by choice. Look it up.

[ktya]

Aprillsi

 

No need to be ashamed anymore.

 

Be proud that your conquering it. Start today.

 

If you want help or ideas pm me.

[FitChick]

Most people are fat because they comfort eat or eat out of boredom. I wouldn't call that a "medical reason" but a bad habit.

 

I really don't care if women are fat. I don't care if they are badly dressed, poorly made up or badly coiffed, smell bad, etc. Makes me look so much better by comparison!

[letmoc]

Most people are fat because they comfort eat or eat out of boredom. I wouldn't call that a "medical reason" but a bad habit.

 

I really don't care if women are fat. I don't care if they are badly dressed, poorly made up or badly coiffed, smell bad, etc. Makes me look so much better by comparison!

 

Oh God