Lobouspo Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Hi, I was just wondering, what's a polite way to reject plus size women on a dating site?..I seem be getting lots of messages from the fatties lately 1
carhill Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Use a tip I learned from dozens of women over the decades: No response is a response. I'm sure they had their labels for me, like the word 'fattie' is used here, but fortunately spared me that inquisition. No response can also be kindness. 3
Assasda Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Hey big women need love too. I got no problem with bigger women, ask them questions about themselves, if they prove to be uncool. move on. 2
somedude81 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Why would a bigger woman need a different type of rejection than a normal woman? 22
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 say you are fat i dont like fat.......and i say this from a point of fatness..... im fat so i would find this the best comment for you to make the most honest and real......you truly suck and are quite shallow ...but that's beside the point.....dealt with worse than you.....and i have also met men who appreciatewho i am i would rather speak to them than you any day...any time...any place.....better you don't waste a fat persons time with your own personal suckiness and shallow views on who we are as women by the weight of us on an electonic device........we have love to give and plenty of it......your view is an affront to my intelligence as a woman and all i am......including fatness...have a great day and i wish you well.....deb 1
yajiuma Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 What does your profile say? If it says something like "I love all kinds of women, personality is important to me" than your opening the door to the larger ladies as well. I think the standard, polite "code talk" for no fatties rule on your profile info page is to say something like "physical fitness/health is important to me, I'm looking for ladies who share my values." If the larger women still reply, than you don't have to respond. 6
Griesfootball Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Just be honest and say I'm not interested at this time. I wouldn't play with someone's strings
J21 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) Don't respond and move on. You are not some superstar, I'm sure they won't message you again. Edited June 24, 2014 by J21 4
phineas Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 What does your profile say? If it says something like "I love all kinds of women, personality is important to me" than your opening the door to the larger ladies as well. I think the standard, polite "code talk" for no fatties rule on your profile info page is to say something like "physical fitness/health is important to me, I'm looking for ladies who share my values." If the larger women still reply, than you don't have to respond. eh, if they can't tell that you are in shape from your pictures...... Don't respond and move on. You are not some superstar, I'm sure they won't message you again. Wait, so if women i'm not interested in message me every few months it means i'm a superstar? Putting it in the profile baby! op just don't respond.
GemmaUK Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Just be blatant and honest that you think they are too fat. It sort of sounds like that is what you want to do. Obviously you will need to remember who you have said this to though and be able to recognise them when they put their new photos up after losing weight and becoming a yoga teacher and look like your dream girl. They're likely to remember who you are from the fat comment you made so be aware that you may not get the most pleasant response (and she will have told her friends on the site about your comment - most ladies I know myself included have friends in the locality on these sites) This is called Karma. Or, just don't reply rather than making someone feel like you think they are inferior to you. 7
isisisweeping Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I think the standard, polite "code talk" for no fatties rule on your profile info page is to say something like "physical fitness/health is important to me, I'm looking for ladies who share my values." I think this is quite a bad idea unless it really is.. there might be a chubby/fat girl who is really into exercise who would respond, or there might be a girl of the preferred body type who sees it and does not respond because she's not into those things. I'd always say honesty.
central Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 If I wasn't interested for whatever reason, I'd either not respond or simply say thanks for your interest, but I don't think we're a good match. I usually prefer to send a polite rejection rather than ignore, but I will ignore messages that just say things like "Hi" or "how are you".
Elle1975 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Say "Hello, I am looking someone as fit as I am as health is important to me. Thank for you message though." Something like that.
deathandtaxes Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Say "Hello, I am looking someone as fit as I am as health is important to me. Thank for you message though." Something like that. Ok. And if OP gets the larger woman who is at the start of a new healthy lifestyle, where she is eating better and going to the gym five times a week? What now, OP? I know attraction is very subjective, and disregarding 'fatties' out of hand (what term for you, OP? *******?) is very shallow, imo. Just be polite, don't be specific. And use a better term than 'fattie' in the future.
SoonMyFriend Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Just don't respond. It's like others have said - karma could one day come back and bite you in the ass. 1
Author Lobouspo Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 Thanks for your responses. I sincerely apologize for using the term "fatties" for those who were offended. As someone who struggled with weight issues when I was younger I know what it feels like to be mocked and made fun of.
KathyM Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I think a short and polite response/decline would be nice, such as "Thanks for your message and interest, but I don't think we have enough in common to make it work." It's highly unlikely a woman would press the issue after that kind of decline. I wouldn't suggest making any reference to her weight in your response.
ktya Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Just dont respond. Thats what I do. I get oddball messages from women out of the blue sometimes that just make me cringe. Most recent was a 57 year old must be 300 lb woman (I'm 37 and in decent shape and my profile pics show that). I cringe, I initially want to say that they aren't my type and try to let them down gracefully or something, think the better of it and just dont respond. Good looking women with a decent pic on OLD usually dont have to message anyone, they just put up a profile and the fire hose begins. So I usually find inbound unsolicited messages suspect and investigate. 3
AnyaNova Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 What does your profile say? If it says something like "I love all kinds of women, personality is important to me" than your opening the door to the larger ladies as well. I think the standard, polite "code talk" for no fatties rule on your profile info page is to say something like "physical fitness/health is important to me, I'm looking for ladies who share my values." If the larger women still reply, than you don't have to respond. So what about us who used to be large, still have some to lose, but for whom physical fitness and achieving it actually are strong values? When I saw that on a profile, I assumed he actually meant that keeping fit was a priority for him. I didn't realize it was code for, "I want a stick figure girlfriend."
isisisweeping Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 So what about us who used to be large, still have some to lose, but for whom physical fitness and achieving it actually are strong values? When I saw that on a profile, I assumed he actually meant that keeping fit was a priority for him. I didn't realize it was code for, "I want a stick figure girlfriend." That was my point. I never was larger (I'm at my largest ever right now) but I'm a "fattie" who exercises an hour or two every single day and I'd read that and think it was about fitness, not body type. One of my best friends is 5'4 and 105 lb (but somehow with ass/breasts) and hates exercise and she'd probably not respond to that because she doesn't want a guy obsessed with that stuff. She gets her fill from me. Haha.
Elle1975 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Ok. And if OP gets the larger woman who is at the start of a new healthy lifestyle, where she is eating better and going to the gym five times a week? What now, OP? I know attraction is very subjective, and disregarding 'fatties' out of hand (what term for you, OP? *******?) is very shallow, imo. Just be polite, don't be specific. And use a better term than 'fattie' in the future. If OP gets a larger woman, she won't fit the description of someone "fit".
Baller25 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 If it's on a dating site then obviously the best thing is to not respond. If it's offline then just say "I'm not your type", they'll get the hint.
contact1 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 People are so PG these days, over a word like "fattie". I can think of at least 20 words off the top of my head that are much worst. Maybe we should all just call people that are overweight "metabolically challenged" instead . 3
carhill Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Well, there is the hack of calling one's female spouse a 'fattie' and then, when response is heard, inviting her to be 'less sensitive' because of course she's overly sensitive in such matters. See how that lead balloon goes over in the judge's chamber when asset division occurs. I still like the way some women politely declined my dating invitations, in person, saying 'I don't like you in that way' or 'I don't find you to be attractive, but good luck!'. Still a bit harsh but no labeling involved. Respect. 1
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