Kermit76 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Its been a strange 10 months from the initial break up and to be honest to get to this point to want to move on has been a difficult one. But after 3 break ups from my ex and having her dip in and out of my life multiple times I'm excited for a new future. A great read is a book called junk food relationships by donna barnes. Definitely read if you want to improve your future relationships and really analyze the relationship you just left. I can't recommend it highly enough. For the first time I'm focusing myself and trying to change for me. Not doing it for my ex but she wanted to see growth in me, but now that she is completely out of my life how will she ever know the man I can become? It doesn't matter right? Her loss I guess and someone else's gain. No NC from me. Thanks everyone for their advice on here. Here is a cheers for happier times. 3
Jord11 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Absolutely the way to think about it, my ex broke up with me about a year and a half ago, I've been in nc ever since, over a year it's crazy to think of it but that's the way it has to be, I've learnt so much from the relationship on what to do and no what to do, it still hurts that we don't talk because I loved that girl so much but she has moved on and I am moving on, I don't think we will ever talk again, she would have to make the first move who knows if she will
Author Kermit76 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 You never know what will happen but I don't give myself false hope anymore.
Priv Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 That is a good realization I think. 9 months here, and very much trying to get things back on track. Very much trying to change, or at least, gain some control of my life. Implementing the changes I make I still sometimes second guess myself as to whether it is all just for me (because I do occasionally catch myself thinking/fantasizing about her liking it). But in all honesty, that which I have changed or are working toward, are things I would done if we were still together or never met. Some of the changes/plans I even talked to her about when we were still together. So I guess it is a healthy step. It shows you are moving on with your life, do what is planned and create/act on future plans.
Author Kermit76 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 Hard not to think about her at times. I still do. I hope for the day I have someone new to think about. The only way that's going to happen is to get back out there, meet new people, date again. 1
lauri Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Been going NC for a significant amount of time now and been broken up since August. It's true what you said - sometimes you make decisions to improve yourself for your ex, but eventually you'll realize these decisions you've made actually benefit you (such as working out) and only increase your confidence and ability to meet new people. I'm met a whole bunch of new girls since being single...and I'll be honest, none of them have really "done" it for me but it is good to know that some really beautiful, nice girls are interested in me. I think that's mainly b/c I've hit the gym and am confident of who I am. I would be a liar to tell you that I don't miss my ex from time to time, but those feelings have faded significantly away. Can't wait till the day my feelings for her are gone forever. 1
Author Kermit76 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 It will be a big step for me in a month when I am silent for her bd. Honestly dont know how I will feel on the day but I know what is best for me. My big test. But I'm committed to NC.
David87 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 It will be a big step for me in a month when I am silent for her bd. Honestly dont know how I will feel on the day but I know what is best for me. My big test. But I'm committed to NC. When did you initiated NC? How long ago ?
Author Kermit76 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 Break up was 10 months ago. First round of NC was for 2 months. I initiated contact. Ex came back in my life the last few months. Round 2 has only been about 2 weeks. Reason being I slept with ex, she wanted to date other people so I made the decision to let her go. Felt used and didnt want to be a back burner.
emotionalMess Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Dumper wants freedom? Give it to them. Also give them the freedom to never see or speak to you again. Dumpers feel validated in their decision so long as dumpee's sit around thinking about them. Are they thinking of you when they are doing someone else? Nope. Don't give them the satisfaction. Be all you can be and don't look back.
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