Jump to content

He told me he doesn't love me anymore. Feeling seriously depressed.


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

After two and a half years, he thinks he doesn't love me and broke up with me. I'm a wreck, I can't eat, sleep well, or stop crying. I initiated NC today as after 3 days of begging he told me he needs time and space.

He is the first love of my life, we're both on our early teens. So my questions are:

1- I'm currently abroad, going back to the city we both live this weekend. Should I break NC ask him if he wants to meet? I think he should so he can se if he feels something for me...

2- This person knows I love him unconditionally. Literally, I would give everything for him. Why can't he understand that we could work this out and that this would be the best for him? People don't quit.. They should try.

3- I'm afraid NC will make him move on and forget about me, while I'll love him forever even without contact.

 

I'm so confused, I hope you help me and guide me a little.

This is very painful. I feel a very strong chest pain :(

Posted

The best thing you can do right now is honor is request for time and space.

 

If there is any chance of you two working again in the future you need to give him this space and you need to give yourself the distance.

 

Its ok to grieve and mourn but do not reach out to him anytime soon.

  • Like 3
Posted

Same boat as you only my relationship wasn't as long as yours, think he asked for space so respect that. Second no contact is correct way. You dated long enough and it sounds serious enough that nobody would forget somebody just like that. Keep your head up.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted

I know NC is the way to go. But it is really hard. I'm afraid he will just forget about me if I don't ask for us to meet - he is very stubborn. He keeps giving me hope. We broke up for 2 months last summer and he reminded me that saying that that could even happen again. How can I lose my hope if he says something like that? Im so confused

Posted

If he broke up with you, then says he needs time and space, that sounds like mixed messages to me. Did he break up or not? Either way, go NC and seek support from your family and friends. Please call a teen depression hotline if you feel like you are seriously depressed and tell your parents.

  • Author
Posted
If he broke up with you, then says he needs time and space, that sounds like mixed messages to me. Did he break up or not? Either way, go NC and seek support from your family and friends. Please call a teen depression hotline if you feel like you are seriously depressed and tell your parents.

 

Yeah he broke up with me over nothing a week ago. He told me he doesn't think he loves me anymore and needs time and space to figure it out. He told me that if it is meant to be, it will be and that we separated many times and always got back together. But not once he told me he didn't love me anymore. That's what's breaking my heart.

Posted
Yeah he broke up with me over nothing a week ago. He told me he doesn't think he loves me anymore and needs time and space to figure it out. He told me that if it is meant to be, it will be and that we separated many times and always got back together. But not once he told me he didn't love me anymore. That's what's breaking my heart.

 

I know this hurts. I can remember my first break up and it was soul crushing. I think him telling you he doesn't love you anymore is significant and you shouldn't think wait for him just in case because you may be waiting for someone who has already decided he wants to be single. First loves are hard to get over, and I know this feels awful but love isn't something you fall in and out of if it is true. The right guy wouldn't keep breaking your heart.

  • Author
Posted
I know this hurts. I can remember my first break up and it was soul crushing. I think him telling you he doesn't love you anymore is significant and you shouldn't think wait for him just in case because you may be waiting for someone who has already decided he wants to be single. First loves are hard to get over, and I know this feels awful but love isn't something you fall in and out of if it is true. The right guy wouldn't keep breaking your heart.

 

Indeed, it really hurts a lot. But I guess I can't move on until he tells me he is 100% sure he doesnt love me. He said he would do it if that was the truth. But it hurts to wait, and even though I know I shouldn't have any hope, I have.

Do you really think I shouldn't send him a message saying: Hey, I'm back! ( i was abroad). Do you want to meet?

Something like that..

Posted
Indeed, it really hurts a lot. But I guess I can't move on until he tells me he is 100% sure he doesnt love me. He said he would do it if that was the truth. But it hurts to wait, and even though I know I shouldn't have any hope, I have.

Do you really think I shouldn't send him a message saying: Hey, I'm back! ( i was abroad). Do you want to meet?

Something like that..

 

If he asked for NC then no I wouldn't contact him. Did he break up with you because you were abroad? Are you sure he didn't get with someone else because you weren't at home? I'm just trying to ascertain why he would want to break up while you were abroad.

  • Author
Posted
If he asked for NC then no I wouldn't contact him. Did he break up with you because you were abroad? Are you sure he didn't get with someone else because you weren't at home? I'm just trying to ascertain why he would want to break up while you were abroad.

 

He didn't really ask for NC. 2 days ago I told him this was being really hard for me. He then told me - its ok, you can talk to me sometimes if you need me. I know he will answer if I do, but I don't think it's something he really wants. I'm from Portugal but Ive been in Brazil for 3 weeks and I'm going back in 2 days. He broke up with me when I was here and said he doesn't want to break up face to face, he said he already told me everything he had to. It's weird because just before I came here he even asked me If i wanted to live with him in September. Btw, it's summer in Portugal , I have the feeling he wants to be single during this time and enjoy it with his friends and meet new girls. This is so confusing. to figure out how someone can change their mind so quickly... Maybe you can see something I don't?

Posted
He didn't really ask for NC. 2 days ago I told him this was being really hard for me. He then told me - its ok, you can talk to me sometimes if you need me. I know he will answer if I do, but I don't think it's something he really wants. I'm from Portugal but Ive been in Brazil for 3 weeks and I'm going back in 2 days. He broke up with me when I was here and said he doesn't want to break up face to face, he said he already told me everything he had to. It's weird because just before I came here he even asked me If i wanted to live with him in September. Btw, it's summer in Portugal , I have the feeling he wants to be single during this time and enjoy it with his friends and meet new girls. This is so confusing. to figure out how someone can change their mind so quickly... Maybe you can see something I don't?

 

 

I see a young man in his teens who wants to have a free summer to hang out with friends and see other girls. I think he knows you will take him back anytime he wants so breaks up so he can do what he wants. He feels guilty about breaking up with you because he knows you did nothing wrong and he is being selfish. I think you loved him and wanted to be in this relationship way more than him no matter what he said. Sometimes young men will tell you what you want to hear to have sex or make out. I'm sorry, OP I hate to be blunt like that but it is true.

  • Author
Posted
I see a young man in his teens who wants to have a free summer to hang out with friends and see other girls. I think he knows you will take him back anytime he wants so breaks up so he can do what he wants. He feels guilty about breaking up with you because he knows you did nothing wrong and he is being selfish. I think you loved him and wanted to be in this relationship way more than him no matter what he said. Sometimes young men will tell you what you want to hear to have sex or make out. I'm sorry, OP I hate to be blunt like that but it is true.

 

Yeah I agree with you. So you think I should continue NC? I've been told this won't work on this guy. I feel like he will eventually realize he is mistake, and I feel the need to not let him do it too late... It was a good relationship overall.

Posted
After two and a half years, he thinks he doesn't love me and broke up with me. I'm a wreck, I can't eat, sleep well, or stop crying. I initiated NC today as after 3 days of begging he told me he needs time and space.

He is the first love of my life, we're both on our early teens. So my questions are:

1- I'm currently abroad, going back to the city we both live this weekend. Should I break NC ask him if he wants to meet? I think he should so he can se if he feels something for me...

2- This person knows I love him unconditionally. Literally, I would give everything for him. Why can't he understand that we could work this out and that this would be the best for him? People don't quit.. They should try.

3- I'm afraid NC will make him move on and forget about me, while I'll love him forever even without contact.

 

I'm so confused, I hope you help me and guide me a little.

This is very painful. I feel a very strong chest pain :(

 

Loving someone unconditionally is a noble concept, but that's not healthy.

 

NC will not make him move on. It will make you move on.

 

I know what you are going through. You're in panic mode. Your heart is wrecked. Anxiety does affect your body, that's what you're feeling right now. I'd make sure nothing else is going on though, just in case.

 

Understand that not contacting him is your best shot at getting back on your feet. It's also your best shot at a reconciliation. Reconciliations usually do not happen though, so don't make it your goal.

 

It gets better, little by little. You have to want it. Consciously decide "I can beat that". Eventually you get back on track. It just takes time.

  • Author
Posted
Loving someone unconditionally is a noble concept, but that's not healthy.

 

NC will not make him move on. It will make you move on.

 

I know what you are going through. You're in panic mode. Your heart is wrecked. Anxiety does affect your body, that's what you're feeling right now. I'd make sure nothing else is going on though, just in case.

 

Understand that not contacting him is your best shot at getting back on your feet. It's also your best shot at a reconciliation. Reconciliations usually do not happen though, so don't make it your goal.

 

It gets better, little by little. You have to want it. Consciously decide "I can beat that". Eventually you get back on track. It just takes time.

 

I can beat that. But what if when i finally start beating that and he messages me: hey, time and space were good for me. I realized I really love you. What do I do then? :(

×
×
  • Create New...