runaway Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 I am currently going on dates with just one girl at the moment. I've gone on a lot of first dates with in the last month or so, but this one girl is the only one I've gone past first date with. This is probably where the problem begins, but please allow me to talk about it. Since our first date, we've been maintaining a line of communication through texts almost daily even though a lot of ppl have told me how important it is to follow the 2- or 3-day rule to "make myself not readily available" and "increase her interest level" and stuff. She and I have been sending playful and flirtatious texts to each other quite a bit. There were days she initiated, but I am usually the one who initiates. Anyway, we went on our second date recently. I had a good time, she said she had a great time. She asked me at one point, "How did you come up with this date idea?" Physically, hand holding and kissing are the furthest extent to which we have gone. Thought things were heading in the right direction, but I kinda feel that her reactions to my texts are a bit different now. I probably shouldn't think too much, but I feel like her responses are now slightly less playful. She still reciprocates, but I feel like I am doing more of the pursuing that she does. I am left to wonder if her interest level has dropped for whatever reason. Got me thinking that I perhaps shoulda texted two or three days after date #2 to get her wondering whether I really want to see her or not. But then, I am also thinking that she might have seen that as me playing games. I am so confused. Anyway, I called her yesterday evening with a date plan in my mind. I wanted to try a different approach. I wanted to call because I thought I would be able to set the date up quicker and more efficiently. She didn't pick up but sent me a text a few mins later: "Hey, I am out watching the game with friends." I responded, "OK." I called again several hours later because I wanted to accomplish the goal. "Still out" was her response. I haven't done anything since then, but she has not reached out to me yet. No text, no call. Should I just do nothing and let her come to me? I think the answer is yes because I have already called her twice. I do wanna see her again and get to know her better, but I obviously don't wanna seem desperate and too eager. Gosh, I wish dating were simpler...
guest569 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Ignore til she contacts you, Forget the rules and game playing, it doesn't make a difference, she is either into you or she isn't and it doesn't matter if you waited 2-3 days or not. My only advice is don't crowd her or pressure her with too much contact. Its one of these things you just have to gauge and play it by ear. 1
PegNosePete Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 She didn't pick up but sent me a text a few mins later: "Hey, I am out watching the game with friends." I responded, "OK." I called again several hours later because I wanted to accomplish the goal. "Still out" was her response. I haven't done anything since then, but she has not reached out to me yet. No text, no call. Well, why was your response simply "OK"? Why not say "OK, give me a call when you're free"? That would place the call unambiguously in her court, and would not make you seem stalker-ish by inundating her with calls. 5
Wisecrack Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 1 call was all you needed. Calling again was needy. Give it a few days and if she does not reply, best move on. She was already starting to become distant. I'm starting to realise that less is best sometimes.
aprilisi Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 could be wrong but sounds like the slow fade to me, change of tone...less texting....then eventually gone
HappyLove Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 You've done all you can right now anymore and you will be too needy! Just back off no more texts or anything else until she gets back to you. Good for you for stepping up and calling. If a woman is into you she will respond to you or at least have courtesy to get back in touch with you! If she doesn't move on. 1
lanamarie Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Don't play that stupid "wait 2=3 days to text" game. Please don't. A woman who is interested in you will only think that you AREN'T interested if you wait so long. A woman who is interested will be HAPPY you contacted her soon after. Don't play dumb games! On the other hand, when you called her and she said she was out, a more thorough repsonse like "Ok, maybe we can talk when you're free" would have been better than just "OK." Now, since you called again and got nothing, I say you do not contact her again until she calls you back. Nobody is that busy, and the ball is in her court. Again, this isn't happening because you texted her the day after the date. IT ONLY happens if the person is not that into you to begin with, and only makes things better if she is into you. Sit back and do nothing until you hear from her. 2
fred123 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 in this situation wat do u do if she doesnt call bak and just continues to text. what does a guy have to do to get a girl to speak on the phone or call bak. i have experienced situations where i wamt to talk to the girl on the phone but i always get a text bak saying sorry i missed ur call and then she continues to text
Mo_Do Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Don't play that stupid "wait 2=3 days to text" game. Please don't. A woman who is interested in you will only think that you AREN'T interested if you wait so long. A woman who is interested will be HAPPY you contacted her soon after. Don't play dumb games! On the other hand, when you called her and she said she was out, a more thorough repsonse like "Ok, maybe we can talk when you're free" would have been better than just "OK." Now, since you called again and got nothing, I say you do not contact her again until she calls you back. Nobody is that busy, and the ball is in her court. Again, this isn't happening because you texted her the day after the date. IT ONLY happens if the person is not that into you to begin with, and only makes things better if she is into you. Sit back and do nothing until you hear from her. Waiting 2-3 days if you are both absolutely crazy for each other IS stupid. However, how often does that happen? Almost never. Its usually the guy trying to hold footing over some girl he wants to ravage, but if he shows "desperation" she will drop him like a sack of bricks. This most often case is why the waiting game is needed. Back when I started dating I was scaring them off left, right and center. IF I could even manage to get a second date, I'd run them off before we could even make it to a third, TWO TIMES after THEY made the 3rd date plans! Guys MUST hold back, at ALL costs!!
Mo_Do Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 in this situation wat do u do if she doesnt call bak and just continues to text. what does a guy have to do to get a girl to speak on the phone or call bak. i have experienced situations where i wamt to talk to the girl on the phone but i always get a text bak saying sorry i missed ur call and then she continues to text Shes not ready yet, keep texting but get more personal with her, build the relationship - then she'll ask to call.
dispatch3d Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Dude is your goal with this girl to chat with her on the phone or date her? Just ask her out via text, she apparently doesn't like talking on the phone...
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 i dont follow the 2 to 3 date rule i could vague out get bitten and hit by a bus in between that time if i like a guy after first date i let him know and say we should do this again......and then its up to him to set it......or ask me to set a time and place.....so if i get hti by a bus ill see him one day in the after life and say yeah too bad we didnt get that date huh....i was keen....and he would know that i was keen...games are for kids with loads of time .........deb 1
HappyLove Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Waiting 2-3 days if you are both absolutely crazy for each other IS stupid. However, how often does that happen? Almost never. Its usually the guy trying to hold footing over some girl he wants to ravage, but if he shows "desperation" she will drop him like a sack of bricks. This most often case is why the waiting game is needed. Back when I started dating I was scaring them off left, right and center. IF I could even manage to get a second date, I'd run them off before we could even make it to a third, TWO TIMES after THEY made the 3rd date plans! Guys MUST hold back, at ALL costs!! Women could say the same. Seems like when a woman is too eager to talk to a guy and is too available he runs also. I think bottom line for men and women is that if they are truly into you and not playing games it would be pretty hard to make that person run away because you called or texted one too many times. The people who run are the ones who were never into you that much to begin with!
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