fifipheebs Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 right-o. got this good guy friend whom i care about immensely. i thought he felt the same way but he's been throwing me off. Enter stage right, the aggressive, obnoxious girl who can't keep her hands off him. Whenever she is around these days, he seems to ignore me and attention is on her. Conversations only directed to her. He knows how i feel about her - frankly, can't stand the sight of this monster. I catch him looking in my direction sometimes when he's chating her up, so i know 100% he is aware of what he is doing. my question i would like to pose to you dear friends is this: is he ignoring me to get a rise out of me so he can gage my feelings? or is he trying to tell me he's not interested in making our friendship more than just that and too chickenshyte to tell me to my face, for fear he loses someone to massage his ego?
ktya Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 right-o. got this good guy friend whom i care about immensely. i thought he felt the same way but he's been throwing me off. Enter stage right, the aggressive, obnoxious girl who can't keep her hands off him. Whenever she is around these days, he seems to ignore me and attention is on her. Conversations only directed to her. He knows how i feel about her - frankly, can't stand the sight of this monster. I catch him looking in my direction sometimes when he's chating her up, so i know 100% he is aware of what he is doing. my question i would like to pose to you dear friends is this: is he ignoring me to get a rise out of me so he can gage my feelings? or is he trying to tell me he's not interested in making our friendship more than just that and too chickenshyte to tell me to my face, for fear he loses someone to massage his ego? Hes not into you. Give up on him and just stay friends. 7
Potz4prez Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 If you treated him like a friend until now, stop being jealous and leave the dude and his romantic interest alone. If you've always had romantic feelings for him, but he never reciprocated, maybe hanging around him isn't the best idea anyways?
Author fifipheebs Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 If you treated him like a friend until now, stop being jealous and leave the dude and his romantic interest alone. If you've always had romantic feelings for him, but he never reciprocated, maybe hanging around him isn't the best idea anyways? i have feelings for him but did not reciporcate them becuase of uncertainty on how sincere he was.
HappyLove Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Is this someone you work with? For some reason I'm imagining some work crush who's probably dating/flirting with the entire office. 1
Author fifipheebs Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 Is this someone you work with? For some reason I'm imagining some work crush who's probably dating/flirting with the entire office. @happylove - yes i work with him.
abby_tx Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 if he liked you, he won't not pay attention to her in your presence so you wouldn't think anything was going on. if he doesn't like you, he doesn't care that he flirts with others. move on. 3
jbelle6 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Ya, another vote for no on this guy. I don't think he's playing a game, he just wants to talk to her. If he were playing a game though, would you want him?
aprilisi Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 But why would he keep sneaking glances at the OP when talking to the other woman? Could he be trying to get a rise from her? 1
Author fifipheebs Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 if he liked you, he won't not pay attention to her in your presence so you wouldn't think anything was going on. if he doesn't like you, he doesn't care that he flirts with others. move on. He flat out told her there was no chance of a relationship when she asked him for one. He likely had changed his mind.
MikeyBe Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 i have feelings for him but did not reciporcate them becuase of uncertainty on how sincere he was. Then you're playing games with each other. He's just enjoying it more then you are. 2
writergal Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 fifi - He sounds like a serial flirt. Those type of guys tend to give off mixed signals to every woman that cross their path. Serial flirts need constant attention from the opposite sex, usually to cover up low self esteem issues. I think he may just view you as a platonic friend and nothing more. Maybe stop hanging out with him socially for a while, until your romantic feelings disappear? Just be friendly at the office when you see him but find other things to do to occupy your time after work. He sounds like to much work. Who needs that? Find a guy who gives you clear signals and who reciprocates your feelings. This guy...toss him back. He's not a good catch. 4
jbelle6 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 But why would he keep sneaking glances at the OP when talking to the other woman? Could he be trying to get a rise from her? OP is telling us he's sneaking looks. Yes. Is he? In my experience, when someone is crushing really badly, they analyze EVERYTHING. I can only go by actions. If he wanted OP he would not be doing what he's doing. And yes to what writergal said. She always has some good advice. 5
TXGuy Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 i have feelings for him but did not reciporcate them becuase of uncertainty on how sincere he was. I'm not quite sure if I'm understanding this right, but if he came onto you and you shot him down, you can't blame him for moving on to someone else. 3
Noproblem Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 I like to let you live in the fantasy world that we always like to hold on too Oh, yeah he is just teasing me oh he walked to her car, he is just nice Oh they hugged, probably they are just close friends Blah blah blah BUT .......The truth is she is giving him what you couldn't give and that's what matter for them... Go and find you another person This one is just not for you ... 3
Author fifipheebs Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 fifi - He sounds like a serial flirt. Those type of guys tend to give off mixed signals to every woman that cross their path. Serial flirts need constant attention from the opposite sex, usually to cover up low self esteem issues. I think he may just view you as a platonic friend and nothing more. Maybe stop hanging out with him socially for a while, until your romantic feelings disappear? Just be friendly at the office when you see him but find other things to do to occupy your time after work. He sounds like to much work. Who needs that? Find a guy who gives you clear signals and who reciprocates your feelings. This guy...toss him back. He's not a good catch. you're very insightful. he is a serial flirt.
writergal Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 you're very insightful. he is a serial flirt. Aww fifi I'm sorry to hear that. Hey! Just remember what the Monty Python boys say... Always look on the bright side of life...
dispatch3d Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 It's possible he'd date either of you. Does he flirt with you? I think you are making way more out of the "looks" he's giving you when he's talking to her than is actually there. He probably just talks to her and occasionally looks in your direction while he's talking to her. Its not supposed to be a huge deal....
phineas Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 i have feelings for him but did not reciporcate them becuase of uncertainty on how sincere he was. He can't be that good of a friend if you can't tell if he's sincere or just looking to get some. Also, you turned him down so what did you expect? He'd chase you? why would he when other women are apparently available to him?
GemmaUK Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 You turned him down from the sound of it(when you say you didn't reciprocate his feelings). You really don't like this woman at all - what has she done to you for you to call her a monster? I suspect he glances at you because you could well be glaring/staring at him. Just ignore him and let him get on with it when he is talking to her and he will stop glancing your way. Sooner than that happens though you won't be looking at him to notice him glancing at you. Problem solved.
Emilia Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 But why would he keep sneaking glances at the OP when talking to the other woman? Could he be trying to get a rise from her? They work together and socialise together, the guy can't get away from the OP in social situations and he is aware of her. That's all that is. OP, this guy is trying to get away from you. I'd stop hanging out with him after work if I were you and give him some space. 2
Author fifipheebs Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 They work together and socialise together, the guy can't get away from the OP in social situations and he is aware of her. That's all that is. OP, this guy is trying to get away from you. I'd stop hanging out with him after work if I were you and give him some space. i dont seek out his company. i'm not some pathetic fool. i have my pride and self respect too. i also dont glare at them. in fact i'm the opposite. i'll go about doing my own thing and talk to others happily chatting (to other females and not necessarily men) and laughing and i catch him looking over. i dont find excuses to call him or go over to his desk. That's what he does to me. When the monster sees him approach me, she comes out of nowhere and dominates and yields him away. (GemmaUK - have you ever watched the reality series The Bachelor? In each season there is the one girl none of the other girls can stand and for good reason not just jealousy)
carhill Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Social proof hack, probably customary at your age. See the 'monster' as a gift. Accept dating invitations from good young men away from work. He'll become a distant memory.
Wisecrack Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I shall let you in on something my friend. When a guy likes a girl we honestly do not play games. We go straight for what we want. It is woman that do all the stirring and make us jump through hoops. Maybe he liked you at one point but got turned down so that ended it. Maybe there was nothing to begin with. Your emotions are what is clouding your judgement right now. First and foremost remember he is a work colleague before you go do anything. And if you plan to, then ask him out and see how it goes. Generally when a guy gets turned down, we'll move on unless a previous flame shoots out an obvious signal and we are still interested deep down. 1
Keenly Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Classic sit com scenario. Girl doesn't reciprocate guys feelings. Guy finds new girl. O Previous girl gets mad about it. You had your opportunity. Now you must either wait to try again later, or give up. 1
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