enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I have been seeing this guy for a while and no he isn't my boyfriend. We go out to dinner, have spent weekends together, etc. Yes we do have sex as well. Spent last weekend together. Went to dinner, lunch, beach, etc. Anyways when he left asked if I wanted to come over later in the week. Well when I tried to set it up during week I got excuses. Working late, will get back to you (never did). He gave me This bogus I miss you but just been working so much. That was 3 days ago. Nothing since. I know my question. Is stupid but just wondering what is the right thing to do for when he does contact me. I've only been sleeping with him. But if he asks to see me next week, I need to do the right Thing. I like him, but I want to make sure I'm not over reacting. Whenever we get close he goes cold for a few days as if he's trying to create distance. My gut tells me I should tell him that I think it's best we stop having Sex for now or do I need to even say this? Help.....
ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 The definition of your relationship is "casually dating" He is likely also seeing other people, and theres nothing wrong with him doing that because you have no label and no exclusivity. He gets colder when you get close because he is keeping emotional distance. If you want to move the relationship to the next level you need to talk with him about that. Dont just withhold the sex. He may bolt, but if you are considering not having sex with him unless the relationship progresses then it wont matter.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Show him this post and tell him you have feelings for him.
MikeyBe Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 My gut tells me I should tell him that I think it's best we stop having Sex for now or do I need to even say this? Help..... Alllllllllll depends on what you want girl. If you're thinking this relationship is going anywhere, sorry this guy is playing you hard. If you just want a casual relationship with NSA... well, then I suppose you wouldn't really be asking this question then. So what exactly are you looking for with this guy?
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 He does not want a relationship with me. If he Wants to casually date then that's his call I'm not His gf. But he won't come out and say it. He gives work excuses then when were together Is talking about taking trips, and acting like he's my boyfriend With the intimacy and attention. If he wants to keep things casual then keep it That way. The way he's acting is like he wants Something more and it's not right. It's not like I can say stop playing me. He will Just deny it. Then he has the nerve to say he's not sleeping Around. Just keep it real. I know he doesn't want a relationship at least not With me.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Show him this post and tell him you have feelings for him. I would never give him That satisfaction.
MikeyBe Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 He does not want a relationship with me. If he Wants to casually date then that's his call I'm not His gf. But he won't come out and say it. You dodged the question! What do you want from the relationship.
ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 You should never ask questions for which you do not want the answer. If he is seeing other girls do you really want to hear all about it? Hes using mundane excuses because he knows you dont want to go there. Or do you want him to admit he is seeing other people? If you are not his girlfriend and you know he doesnt want a relationship what does it matter?
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 You dodged the question! What do you want from the relationship. I want a relationship but I know he doesn't
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 You should never ask questions for which you do not want the answer. If he is seeing other girls do you really want to hear all about it? Hes using mundane excuses because he knows you dont want to go there. Or do you want him to admit he is seeing other people? If you are not his girlfriend and you know he doesnt want a relationship what does it matter?nope I don't think I could look at him if I knew he was.
ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 nope I don't think I could look at him if I knew he was. Then theres your answer.
MikeyBe Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I want a relationship but I know he doesn't Then there you go. Just making sure you would admit it. Stop punishing yourself! You're just setting yourself up for some heartache. Don't get addicted to all the drama with this guy. Its unhealthy.
spiderowl Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Is he married or seeing someone else? That would explain the going cold on you for days situation.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Then there you go. Just making sure you would admit it. Stop punishing yourself! You're just setting yourself up for some heartache. Don't get addicted to all the drama with this guy. Its unhealthy. I know....I have to just walk away and stay away bad with no contact. It sucks but he's playing big time mind games and immature. If I keep seeing him it's just going to eat at my self esteem and make me feel worse and worse.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Is he married or seeing someone else? That would explain the going cold on you for days situation. Married, no. Seeing someone else....who knows? He's Not my boyfriend. But the fact that when he was with me he was So into then all of a sudden goes stone cold tells me I'm Not the only one. Why else would he act this way. If your into someone it's Pretty consistent. It isn't hot and cold like this. To each their own I guess.
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