MidwestUSA Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Well, she threw a really bad test at you regarding the bill. And you failed, in her eyes. What a bitch. She offered to pay and whipped out her card. Then goes to the bathroom. What she expected: you'd put the total on YOUR card. What you did: split it down the middle (totally fair, given her offer, I don't care how many cheez doodles she did/didn't eat, she's whining). What you should have done (in retrospect): let them put the total on her card. Women that throw out tests like this don't deserve you, and give the rest of us a bad rep; move on. 3
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Well, she threw a really bad test at you regarding the bill. And you failed, in her eyes. What a bitch. She offered to pay and whipped out her card. Then goes to the bathroom. What she expected: you'd put the total on YOUR card. What you did: split it down the middle (totally fair, given her offer, I don't care how many cheez doodles she did/didn't eat, she's whining). What you should have done (in retrospect): let them put the total on her card. Women that throw out tests like this don't deserve you, and give the rest of us a bad rep; move on. Yeah totally. The bill thing was total bitch. It went like this. She asks the server for the check. Check comes, i go to reach for it and say ill get that, she says no, you dont have to pay for me. Im like are you sure, its no problem, she insists. Im like, ok. She pulls out her card and puts it on the table (debit with a pin so they cant ring it through for her) then goes to the bathroom. Server comes back with the machine, and i offer up my card. Server asks how wed like to split it. I dont know what the girl wants so i just say to split it. I pay then girl comes back from the bathroom and the server asks for her card. This is when the bitching starts. She says, "how is it that my one scotch comes to $17??". Im like, "well i just told the server to split it down the middle because i figured that wouod be easiest.". She comes back with "but my drink was only 8 dollars!". I mentioned the cheese plate. She quips back "well i only had a few peices, you ate most of it!". I was like, "well it was to share. But its too late now, sorry, i didnt know how you wanted to split it up. Ill pay the whole bill next time, i figured splitting it was the easiest.". She punches her pin in the machine and says something like, "a $17 scotch.." What bit me about it was that i offered to pay, she insisted on paying, and the only reason i ate more cheese than her was because i would comment on how good something was and how she should try it, and she would be dismissive. It certainly was not anything that would give the impression that i had simply ordered dinner for myself. It.was a finger food cheese plate for god sakes... Completely obvious that it was to share and nibble while we talked. I guess she already had enough cheese in her.
Dallers Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 In fact scrub what I said earlier if I was in top form I would have ordered two bottles of the Veuve Clicquot La Grande 1998 and then ducked out. She certainly would have chased after you then fella 2
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Oh and to boot i dressed nice and made reservations at a nice place. All locally sourced organic food, not high end but upscale, she knew the place. She came in a hoodie a tank top and sweat pants. I even ironed my dress shirt. I work in investment sales, so i know my table manners and didnt exactly open up the date with some stupid comment. I wasnt staring at her tits, i didnt do something dumb like smack her ass. I paid attention to what she said and asked pertinent questions and also more general crap like how her day at work was. If i flubbed it, i would have known. Like an above poster said this wouldnt have worked out no matter what time, place, or type of date we went on. Doomed from the start. And if she doomed it from the start because i wasnt ready to either bolt on a moments notice to see her for an hour or cancel my dinner plans with my buddy at my place then that girl is nothing but an argument waiting to happen.
Dallers Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 To sum up. I am amazed that this ever led to a date at all. Normally during initial conversation the lack of enthusiasm gets dragged out and one person ignores the other after a badly worded message. I think you should be congratulating yourself on it reaching a date. Also you need to take more care of you and stop caring so much about someone on a first date. If my date showed up dressed like a waitress I would have spoken to her like one and asked her to show me to my table with a wry smile. Then smacked her ass. Don't be afraid to love yourself before you start loving someone else. I would love to be with someone, but that does not mean I drop the life I have built to drool all over them, who the F are they anyway! I still like my idea with the two bottles of bubbly personally.....remember that for next time. 2
Gaeta Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Seriously, the cheese plate was on you, it was your idea to order it and she only took some upon your insistence. What she wanted was to pay her scotch so she doesn't feel she owes you anything and be out of there. You could have told the waitress to make a separate bill for the scotch, anyway no point debating it now it's done. When a woman insist on paying for herself it's because the guy and the date were not to her liking. Let her pay for her part then go each your way. No walking her to the car or home. 2
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 To sum up. I am amazed that this ever led to a date at all. Normally during initial conversation the lack of enthusiasm gets dragged out and one person ignores the other after a badly worded message. I think you should be congratulating yourself on it reaching a date. Also you need to take more care of you and stop caring so much about someone on a first date. If my date showed up dressed like a waitress I would have spoken to her like one and asked her to show me to my table with a wry smile. Then smacked her ass. Roflmao The waitresses were better dressed actually. They were in cute little black skirts with button up shirts. I should have introduced my date to her as my friend and asked for her number. :-P
Gaeta Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Roflmao The waitresses were better dressed actually. They were in cute little black skirts with button up shirts. I should have introduced my date to her as my friend and asked for her number. :-P You did not check your date's tits but I see you had time to check the waitresses lol,
Dallers Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Who drinks scotch on a first date?! lol Who are you James Bond?! 1
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Seriously, the cheese plate was on you, it was your idea to order it and she only took some upon your insistence. What she wanted was to pay her scotch so she doesn't feel she owes you anything and be out of there. You could have told the waitress to make a separate bill for the scotch, anyway no point debating it now it's done. When a woman insist on paying for herself it's because the guy and the date were not to her liking. Let her pay for her part then go each your way. No walking her to the car or home. Actually ive had some great dates where the girl insisted on paying half each time. Still sleeping with that one a few times a month. I get that she wanted to only pay for her scotch, but that was not at all apparent when im standing with the server and shes not there and ive got to come up with a number. I did discuss ordering the cheese plate with her before it was ordered. TBH during that conversation at no point was i under the impression that she wanted nothing of it. I dont know why women make such big deals about who pays and why. When that girl offered to pay half then came home and slept with me i knew i found a keeper. In OLD its always a risk as a guy that your just getting soaked for the free meal, im sure there are women who dont ever buy their own dinner on these sites. When the girl offers to pay half or whatever it takes that concern off the table. We are in 2014, arent we?
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 Who drinks scotch on a first date?! lol Who are you James Bond?! She drank the scotch. I had a rum and coke.
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 You did not check your date's tits but I see you had time to check the waitresses lol, Actually no i was well behaved. But yes a guy notices the second he walks into a place. Lol
MidwestUSA Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Actually ive had some great dates where the girl insisted on paying half each time. Still sleeping with that one a few times a month. I get that she wanted to only pay for her scotch, but that was not at all apparent when im standing with the server and shes not there and ive got to come up with a number. I did discuss ordering the cheese plate with her before it was ordered. TBH during that conversation at no point was i under the impression that she wanted nothing of it. I dont know why women make such big deals about who pays and why. When that girl offered to pay half then came home and slept with me i knew i found a keeper. In OLD its always a risk as a guy that your just getting soaked for the free meal, im sure there are women who dont ever buy their own dinner on these sites. When the girl offers to pay half or whatever it takes that concern off the table. We are in 2014, arent we? Yea, she's being a whiny bitch. Jane Bond, LOL! And now you're WAYYYY overthinking it. I hope you took in some roughage later to make sure all that cheez doesn't block you up. Better luck with the next one! 1
Gaeta Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Actually ive had some great dates where the girl insisted on paying half each time. Still sleeping with that one a few times a month. I get that she wanted to only pay for her scotch, but that was not at all apparent when im standing with the server and shes not there and ive got to come up with a number. I did discuss ordering the cheese plate with her before it was ordered. TBH during that conversation at no point was i under the impression that she wanted nothing of it. I dont know why women make such big deals about who pays and why. When that girl offered to pay half then came home and slept with me i knew i found a keeper. In OLD its always a risk as a guy that your just getting soaked for the free meal, im sure there are women who dont ever buy their own dinner on these sites. When the girl offers to pay half or whatever it takes that concern off the table. We are in 2014, arent we? Then I misunderstood about the plate. It's a matter of who made the invite! If I am the one making the invitation I pay for the both of us, if he invites me I expect him to pay for my coffee. Then if we start seeing each other we get into a routine of paying each our turn or something. Last time I went on a first date we met for coffee and cake, the guy drove 50km to meet me so when we got there I said: I appreciate you came all the way here to meet me, please let it be my treat. He accepted gracefully.
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 The night ended well. My roommate came home with a cute single 19 year old and some buddies. I got her number.
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 It's a matter of who made the invite! If I am the one making the invitation I pay for the both of us, if he invites me I expect him to pay for my coffee. Then if we start seeing each other we get into a routine of paying each our turn or something. Thats the convention i usually follow. If i made the ask then i arrive expecting to foot the whole bill. If the girl offers to pay because shes all modern like that, unless say im ordering expensive drinks or i drank a lot more than her, then we just split it. In this case we each had one drink and this cheese plate so down the middle seemed fair enough to me.
Dallers Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 She drank the scotch. I had a rum and coke. This resolves the situation. A woman drinking scotch on a first date. the look I would give her when she ordered would be indescribable! Rum and Coke? Good lad. Plenty more fish in the sea for you.
MidwestUSA Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 This resolves the situation. A woman drinking scotch on a first date. the look I would give her when she ordered would be indescribable! Rum and Coke? Good lad. Plenty more fish in the sea for you. Just so I'm clear, scotch is a bad thing? If I whip out a cigar with it, what does that make me?
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 This resolves the situation. A woman drinking scotch on a first date. the look I would give her when she ordered would be indescribable! Rum and Coke? Good lad. Plenty more fish in the sea for you. Im a sailor with a sailboat. Girls gotta be ok with me having the rum and cokes cuz if shes not and makes it aboard then shes going overboard! Let em know early. It was. 730 date for drinks so i didnt care about the scotch. I cant drink wine due to sulfites and beer adds to the waistline. But i was surprised she ordered the scotch. Usually they order wine or a slushy drink.
HappyLove Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I think she didn't like you from the moment you canceled the first date. It really does leave a bad impression when you cancel a first date. Her showing up in sweats while you are dressed in date attire shows you two weren't a match. She seems like a difficult person too. You should not have walked her home and definitely shouldn't expect to go into a woman's house on the first date. She's a fool for even letting you know where she lives. Then the text about it being a good date when it wasn't. That was a little desperate. You're not missing out on anything with this one anyway she sounds miserable. I think the only thing you could have done to have a better start is NOT cancel the first date. Good luck with the next one. 2
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 I think she didn't like you from the moment you canceled the first date... Her showing up in sweats while you are dressed in date attire shows you two weren't a match. She seems like a difficult person too. You should not have walked her home and definitely shouldn't expect to go into a woman's house on the first date. She's a fool for even letting you know where she lives. Then the text about it being a good date when it wasn't. That was a little desperate. You're not missing out on anything with this one anyway she sounds miserable. I think the only thing you could have done to have a better start is NOT cancel the first date. Good luck with the next one. I wouldnt have cancelled the first date at all if the time limitations were better communicated. "im free sunday" to me doesnt mean that your booked all afternoon when were talking about a daytime date. She only volunteered that when i was trying to line up a place and time. She was jamming me for the dinner date but i already had evening plans and told her so. I did try to reschedule right away for the next day. But yes she does seem miserable. If she was that pissy about rescheduling a coffee date why even go without at least trying to have a good time. On the house thing it was a bit weird. She had already invited me to her house on a whim once but wanted me to bring a friend which i couldnt do on a moments notice and didnt want me coming alone. It was a flash rain thing it was warm literally up until we were a quarter block from her house, and it stopped 10 minutes later. Was raining buckets not just a little rain like a LOT. If it was a girl even if i wasnt at all into her, i would have invited her in for a few minutes for a drink to see if it died down.
HappyLove Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 "If it was a girl even if i wasnt at all into her, i would have invited her in for a few minutes for a drink to see if it died down." You have to understand that this is not safe for a woman to do. Imagine a little sister or your daughter going into a mans house that she doesn't know after a first date.
Author ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 "If it was a girl even if i wasnt at all into her, i would have invited her in for a few minutes for a drink to see if it died down." You have to understand that this is not safe for a woman to do. Imagine a little sister or your daughter going into a mans house that she doesn't know after a first date. I dont usually have a problem getting them into my house after a first date. 1
spiderowl Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 You didn't have a good conversation, which should have said it all really about the connection. Separately, ordering a plate of something and expecting her to want to have some and try it, if she hadn't wanted it, is a bit much. Having had this happen to me, where the guy ordered a starter (without consulting me) and then kept trying to get me to eat it, I felt like he was taking control and not consulting me. I suspect this is why she tried to pay, she didn't want to owe you. She shouldn't have disappeared off to the bathroom at pay time. All in all, you just didn't hit it off with each other. Maybe you are used to taking control and the girl following on. She sounds like she didn't do this. It's good you made an effort to see her, despite her suggestion of a short date at first, but you are both looking for something different I think.
todreaminblue Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 not good traits to show on a first date almost like self sabotage on her behalf.....yuck.....showing the wort possible traits in regards to money and sharing bills....i would suggest it wont get any better the more you know her.....if a guy did this to me and made comments about the bill and it rarely has happened in fact cant remember one case...i would walk and say see ya ....i wish you well ...no second date.....deb 1
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