Z_man Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 It’s unfortunate but when the subject of nice guys comes up, automatically some people equate nice guys with only being wimps. Somehow, some people only have the perception that being a nice guy means, you are a male who has no opinion of his own and just lets the woman walk all over him on a whim. Though that may be true for some nice guys that doesn't hold water for the whole lot. I wish nice wasn’t so often equated with meek mannerisms and submissiveness. Couldn’t another definition of nice be guys who were raised with the philosophy of ,“Treat others as you would want others to treat you.”? I can disagree with someone and I don’t believe that being a spineless yes man, is the key to a healthy relationship. However, many nice guys were raised to feel remorse if they called others names or treated others badly without any provocation at all. What sets many nice guys apart from the dead end ‘bad boys’ is that many nice guys want to share a meaningful relationship with their mate and not play some tired, drawn out, high schoolish cat and mouse chase game of constant rejection and pursuing those who won’t commit to you. This fun game is also referred to as ‘The Chase’. Would it also help to remember that many nice guys were raised by liberated and educated mothers, who wanted to make sure that they treat women they way women were meant to be treated?
karlym3 Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I would love to meet a nice guy. Feels like they do not exist any more..
completelydevastated Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by karlym3 I would love to meet a nice guy. Feels like they do not exist any more.. I used to be a nice guy... but I kept getting stuffed into the "friend" category & got tired of it. Seriously though, I just try to treat others the way I want to be treated... AND I can still stand my ground. If anything, I think a "nice guy" should be kind & caring without being a pushover. That's my definition anyway. hehe...
Hund1976 Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 There is a difference between treating the girl you're with well and being a pushover for all the girls. Some guys get a delusion that some girl that they are obsessed with will go out with them if they try hard enough, then they always wind up being the guy that is there for them, consoling them when their boyfriends do mean stuff to them and what not. But I think the problem is the girls just aren't interested in those guys for whatever reason. My advice would be if you like a girl just ask her out, trying to be her best friend for a year and then have her go out with you is probably only going to work 0.1% of the time.
completelydevastated Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Hund1976 just hit the nail on the head.
blind_otter Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by completelydevastated I used to be a nice guy... but I kept getting stuffed into the "friend" category & got tired of it. Seriously though, I just try to treat others the way I want to be treated... AND I can still stand my ground. If anything, I think a "nice guy" should be kind & caring without being a pushover. That's my definition anyway. hehe... I have a guy friend (NOT Mr. T, who shall from now on be referred to as "officer doofy") who I had a brief fling with, I would have loved it to be more but he wasn't willing to. Toooooo nice. Sometimes I think it's a sham. I mean, I've met a buncha guys who started out nice and ended up being a**h***s.
clynn Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I've been dumped by nice guys because I can't believe they are nice guys and I treat them badly. So who's not nice? Me.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Z_man Would it also help to remember that many nice guys were raised by liberated and educated mothers, who wanted to make sure that they treat women they way women were meant to be treated? hey Z-MAN, remember that many of these liberated and educated moms also forgot to instill in their "nice guy" offspring how to use their masculine charms and confidence and aggression to attract females. In essense emotionally castrating their sons. Here is my break-down of the male populous: 33% - just plain "nice guys" who women aren't interested in too much 34% - normal guys who can be nice or bad at same time, most women crave for them 33% - just plain "bad guys" who prob get a lot of women but aren't worth it key is to be in the middle. as a man you have to have both good and bad in you and be capable of showing both sides. this is what women want.
Sckott Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Nice guys exist. Like another said here though, a man's gotta have confidence and stand his ground sometimes. Being a total wuss (or unfunny, can't laugh at himself) is apt to be unsexy to even the most hungry woman. For the women who want nice guys and can't find them, I'll say they're eyeing Mr. Badass, Mr. DWI and Mr. Abusive as the good ones walk by. Women just need to adjust their radar, is all.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Nice guys get me hot. I'm not kidding. Dorks do too. Open the door for me and include some words like "trajectory" and I'm all up on it.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Sckott Women just need to adjust their radar, is all. this may be hard to do, SCKOTT, since that would mean changing thousands of years of evolution, genetics and DNA.
Pocky Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama Nice guys get me hot. I'm not kidding. Dorks do too. Open the door for me and include some words like "trajectory" and I'm all up on it. Ooooo..my kind of dirty talk! We aren't very different, you and I.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky Ooooo..my kind of dirty talk! We aren't very different, you and I. I change my socks, but other than that... JUST kidding darling, you know I love ya!
Sckott Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale this may be hard to do, SCKOTT, since that would mean changing thousands of years of evolution, genetics and DNA. Heh. You ain't kiddin'. Maybe if the chick wrote it on her hands she might get lucky without looking? "Look for a nice guy", with a big black Sharpie marker?
Debo Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 llama, I can open your door at the optimal trajectory that will enhance your natural beauty upon leaving or entering a crowded place. Upon entering said place, I will pull out your chair (oops) in a tack that is both majestic and efficent, and will gaze upon you, as you sit down. Then, as I sit forward from you, I will gently place my spectacles on as I start our magnificent date with an astounding discourse on the plight of modern day english. Lastly,at the end of the night, "I will stop the world and melt with you". Til yonder morning breaks, the night will be awash in trajectories that will astound and entertain you.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Here's the thing- alot of girls might look at a bad boy and think "It sure would be hot to get in his pants" or "What would I get if I could change him?" Both are mistakes. It's mostly the later I believe. I've never, ever, wanted a bad boy for a relationship. I've always been attracted to nice guys. Most all, even the ones I didn't last with, were nice guys- with probably one or two exceptions. I'm not big on the game either. I have played it, but I'm not into playing it at my age. When I first met bf he was like "Do you like a challenge or would you rather have a sure thing?" I said, "A sure thing all the way" To me that doesn't mean push over- that means someone I can trust and who will be a true partner to me. If you're into a challenge too much it means that once the challenge has passed that person may not look that good to you or they have to keep the challenge up to keep you interested. Uh, uh, sorry, not for me. I have a definite standard. I like someone who takes care of himself, but is not more into his appearance than I am into mine, who treats his mother and his female friends well. I appreciate having the door opened for me and a man who says, please and thank you. That means I love nice guys- I don't think they have a bad rap either, but that's just me. In return I'm a nice girl- who can be a nice girl on the street and a bad girl in the bedroom.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Debo llama, I can open your door at the optimal trajectory that will enhance your natural beauty upon leaving or entering a crowded place. Upon entering said place, I will pull out your chair (oops) in a tack that is both majestic and efficent, and will gaze upon you, as you sit down. Then, as I sit forward from you, I will gently place my spectacles on as I start our magnificent date with an astounding discourse on the plight of modern day english. Lastly,at the end of the night, "I will stop the world and melt with you". Til yonder morning breaks, the night will be awash in trajectories that will astound and entertain you.
Sckott Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie In return I'm a nice girl- who can be a nice girl on the street and a bad girl in the bedroom. Oh, heart be still. Yum!
Mz. Pixie Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Thanks hon- BF is a VERY HAPPY man! Doesn't every guy really want that when it comes right down to it?
blind_otter Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie Thanks hon- BF is a VERY HAPPY man! Doesn't every guy really want that when it comes right down to it? I dunno. I am a bitch with a potty mouth and I still seem to attract attention from men. Who like to be sassed back.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Nah, what I meant is that I'm a nice girl who knows how to get down and dirty in the sack with her man. When pushed though I can be a bitch with a potty mouth but they usually only see this after they have screwed up!
WalkingTall Posted February 19, 2005 Posted February 19, 2005 Men for the most part do want a lady in public and a freak in the bed. I always wanted a brilliant woman with class and knows how to be a lady, but behind closed doors, she would be experimental and a badass. And after being the nice guy for so many years I found what I wanted. ~drool~ Over those years the confidence built up, although at the start was pretty pathetic I know that most guys who feel that they can't compete with what they perceive as the "ideal" guy will lose confidence in themselves and women can sense that from afar. Until I gained my confidence, I was dating women that would not be my preference. And whoever said being a friend (aka nice guy) for a long time without pushing forward is soooo right.. I have endured that, and know that it's a road straight to a broken heart.
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