Brittybritt88 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 (edited) Ok. I am going to be 100 percent honest here because I need answers and sound advice.... I met my ex fiance Josh while working at a retail store. We hit it off right away and he flirted with me the whole time. However I played hard to get and after the 3rd time showing up at my job he asked me out. We had an amzing first date. He told me up front about his past (he had been abused as a child and ended up being caught with underage pornography. I know! I did my checking and I even met with his court appointed person. He gave me all the info and said he was really working on his issues) I gave him a chance and so did my family. Pretty soon we had good jobs and an apartment. We were in Love and almost a year in we seemed so blisful. Yea we became comfortable around each other but we still had love. In december he asked me to marry him. I said yes right away. He even wanted to try for a baby. All this bliss and I never saw it coming.... One night he asked for space. I went and spent the night at his mothers house and that's the night he slept with some 19 year old from is work. At first he begged and pleaded to stay together but I refused. Soon though he wasn't asking for that and with each passing hour he was more focused on making it work with her than with me. I became a nightmare. I screamed I cried. I begged. I swang between **** you and I love you at the drop of a hat. And it was only driving them closer. I decided I'd had enough and so I made it clear to him that I wasn't interested. It was a lie but I figured I would fake it till I made it. It was working. He called me without warning. He wanted to see me. He became insanely jealous if I was talking to other guys and finally one day he begged me to give us another chance. I agreeded if only he ended it with her. He said he would. That this girl reminded him of a girl he lost back when he was younger named Lindsey. He wanted to get her out of his system and that he knew it would never work between them. He and I spent that night together and it was like everything was all better again. He said he needed time so I gave it to him. The first thing he did with his time was to move her (19 year old) into his mothers house with him. He told me it was done and denied ever leading me on. Once again I was back at square one with absolutely no chance at redemption. Now he has her answer the phone and if I do manage to get to talk to him it ends with pain because he talks about her and how he wants to make it work with her. Please. I know I sound so stupid but I want him back. We were so happy and I know we can be that again. I wish I could just read his mind. I've been beaten up enough so please...be gentle Edited June 21, 2014 by Brittybritt88
d0nnivain Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 You actually don't want him back. You know he's a cheating lying cad. What you want back is the perceived happiness & the joy of planning your wedding & the dream of happily ever after. Happiness & a solid future filled with love & children is a wonderful thing to want & you will probably get it someday but not with him. 3
zen2475 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 I'm sorry, but what you had was gone, and it probably never really was what you perceived it to be. I think you need to look at the reality of the situation and that is has left you for someone else and wants to expend his energies on her. That's all you need to know. I know how painful this is and my heart aches for you. But the best thing you can do is cut him out of your life completely and move on. Go NC. Please do not try to contact him. You know that only results in pain and you lose even more dignity every time you do that. And frankly, this guy is not worth that. Biggest of hugs.
Griesfootball Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 He doesn't sound like a gentleman and you only want him back because it registers in your brain that you are lonely. The chances of meeting someone better than him should be pretty high and once you find someone you won't have that lonely feeling anymore
Author Brittybritt88 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 SO...after I posted this I read it over and read all your replies and my god...you are so right! This little girl cost me my job so.....I woke up today thinking "screw that!" I got dressed and went out and got myself an even better job. I filled out an app and got hired on the spot. I was bursting with confidence. I went into the gas station I always go to and the guy behind the counter who use to hit on me before I got engaged noticed my ring was missing and asked me about it. He offered to take me to lunch and I went! We talked and really hit it off. I asked him why he was always so interested in me and he said "You're not the kind of woman who will put up wirh anyone's ****. I respect that and I will be honest it is extremely sexy." I was floored! I couldn't believe it. He was right. When I first met Josh I didn't put up with anyone's ****! And tonight I found that woman again. Joshua's New girl texted me tonight trying to bash me and make me feel bad and I finally had the guts to tell her the truth. She didn't win ANYTHING by getting him. Because I didn't want him. He was an ant under my shoe at this point and was just a brick around my neck. Pulling me down. I cut that rope tonight. He can dragg her down to the bottom. I refuse to drown for -any- man. There is nothing a man can give me now that I won't be fine with loosing. I have options now. I can do things I was willing to give up for him now. I can go back to school. I can go out on dates. I don't have to stress about -anything- but taking care of myself. I am shocked by how happy I am without him. I know its premature and I am sure I will have bad days but I know now...all I have to do is re read this blog and know 1000% that I am better off. Totally unrelated topic lol. But I saw the journal thing..anyone know how I start one? Thanks. 1
jbelle6 Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 You lost me at the underage porn thing. So many nice guys, even right here on this forum and so many women pining over guys like this. You don't need this crap OP. 1
Author Brittybritt88 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 You are so right! Man I don't know what I was thinking. I think when I fall in love I turn into a 'fixer'. I wanna be the one to make their lives better when in reality it should be HIM wanting tk do that for me, proving himself and THAN I will do the same for him.
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Good for you just stop talking to the Ex's new GF.
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