Murryman91 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 After 5 months of no contact with me and my ex we started talking again and eventually told each other we still had feelings for one another. I asked her would she give me another chance and she said she can't be with anyone at the moment because of personal problems and she wants to get to know me properly first before getting together(we only dated for a few months). She got hurt a lot in past that's why she wants this first. So anyways we began going to the movies and hanging out and all that stuff but just as friends for the moment, we still flirted a lot and txted all the time and everything was going so well she began to feel comfortable being alone with me and started to be a little more open. Then last time when we hung out after I walked her home we had so much fun and without thinking when I hugged her I kissed her on the lips, I knew straight up that was a mistake and when I got home i rang and apologized but she said she wasn't ready for this kind of thing and thinks this was a bad idea and said we should stop meeting up alone and stuff but we can still be the way we are just stick to txting and seeing each other at the weekends when we are out with mutual friends until she is ready. I feel horrible I messed up so bad even tho she reckens it wasn't my fault, I don't know what to do this girl means so much to me and it was going perfect until the stupid kiss. Any advice? Whoever is gonna say move on or forget her don't even bother replying because thats not an option for me.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Whoever is gonna say move on or forget her don't even bother replying because thats not an option for me. Let me rephrase the above for you: I have this problem and I know what the right solution is, but is there anyone willing to tell me what I want to hear instead? Good news, your request is my exact purpose for being on this site. You need to double down and smother her now. Flowers, candies, always be around her, text incessantly, tell her how much you don't care what she wants but what you want is more important. I'm sure she will come around. Well, there you go, perfectly horrible advice per your request. Now go do the right thing which you already know. 2
Author Murryman91 Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 Let me rephrase the above for you: I have this problem and I know what the right solution is, but is there anyone willing to tell me what I want to hear instead? Good news, your request is my exact purpose for being on this site. You need to double down and smother her now. Flowers, candies, always be around her, text incessantly, tell her how much you don't care what she wants but what you want is more important. I'm sure she will come around. Well, there you go, perfectly horrible advice per your request. Now go do the right thing which you already know. Thanks for ruining my day even more appreciate that.
redbaron005 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Okay, why don't you just go along at the pace she is comfortable at? Put yourself in her shoes. Distance yourself more than you normally would, respecting her request for more her time. You're clearly ahead of her in the feelings department, give her considerable time to catch up or bail out. 1
ThorntonMelon Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 My dear lord it was a kiss on the lips - you'd think you just killed her pet!! Mature people can handle these things and laugh them off. Yes you invaded her space more than she was comfortable, but with good natured people who care about you, it would be something to laugh about (as long as you didn't do it again) and not some sort of torture treatment. On your dating point, she's not interested, she's stringing you along for attention, and nothing you do is going to change that. But the good news is you didn't screw anything up, she's just an attention whore and you're her drug of choice at the moment. 4
rdons1 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 in my opinion if she wanted to be with you a little kiss wouldn't be a big deal maybe she just wants to be friends
LostConfused123 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Yeah, I honestly don't get the big deal of a little kiss???? It's a term of endearment. It's not like you tried to pants her right then and there. Seems a little dramatic. geez! just my opinion. Best of luck to you. ((hugs))
Simon Phoenix Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Unfortunately dude, it seems like she's just not that into you. If a kiss is going to get her that unnerved, then this is just not going to happen. But since you seem hellbent on ignoring everything you don't want to hear, I'll just say good luck. You're going to need it.
flight E Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 We men always do this and wonder why the girl's act the way they do. Women have a natural way they fall in love. Nature also determine who they love which is mainly based on how the man acts. You have put this girl on a pedestal. She can't like you even if she wanted to. Don't blame her. Man up. You kissed her. She isn't ready. No big deal. U brush it off and stop behaving as if you killed someone. If she takes it as if you killed someone, then you let her go. Trust me i, know it's easier said than done, but this is the mindset that women fall for
Mistercash Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 At this point, I think its safe to say that she's not that into you. If she was, that kiss probably would have led to you smashing and thrashing her woman parts with the strength of Zeus. Give it time and see what happens.
zen2475 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 She's not ready yet and you need to respect that. She has said she has feelings for you, and she did spend time with you. I don't think you blew it; rather, as someone said, you are just more emotionally invested than she is at the moment. I think you still very much have a chance, but slow your roll way down and give her the space and time she needs to feel comfortable with this. Not everyone is on our time schedule. It doesn't mean the feelings aren't there; you just need to be patient and gracious. I wish you the best of luck! 1
Griesfootball Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 I don't see how a kiss would mess things up but go at her pace. You should be happy that you are even hanging out with her I would kill for that opportunity. But being with someone a second time you are supposed to take it slow or you fall back into old habits 1
RachelJansen Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 My dear lord it was a kiss on the lips - you'd think you just killed her pet!! Mature people can handle these things and laugh them off. Yes you invaded her space more than she was comfortable, but with good natured people who care about you, it would be something to laugh about (as long as you didn't do it again) and not some sort of torture treatment. On your dating point, she's not interested, she's stringing you along for attention, and nothing you do is going to change that. But the good news is you didn't screw anything up, she's just an attention whore and you're her drug of choice at the moment. ThorntonMelon is spot on! Please respect her request for time and space. Insisting will only push her away!
sugarlove Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Pfft, it's just a kiss. If she can't brush it off, it's not a real second chance. She probably changed her mind and found an excuse to blame. If she's not ready now, no use forcing her. It's not your fault, it's only a kiss. It's not sex.
Antares Posted June 29, 2014 Posted June 29, 2014 Reminds me so much of a girl I was seeing a year ago. We dated for a few months and then she broke up with me, crying, saying that although she felt we had an emotional connection, it was all too much too soon. She was very shy and told me that it took a long time to get comfy with people. As soon as she broke things off, I went NC. And then a few months later she called up asking how I was. I took my time to respond and found out she was dealing with a family tragedy and I was one of the first people she reached out to. (Strange since she broke things off and only dated a few months) Another month of light chatting led to an amazing 2 hour phone call catching up. She brought up the relationship and dating, etc. and I asked if that meant she wanted to try again. She said no...that we really should go our own separate ways. Which was a bummer cuz I really dug her. It felt like a part of her wanted to...we got along amazing (same humor, likes, etc)...but felt way too stressed about dating. And that was just over a year ago. I still think about her from time to time...but all I could do was respect her decision and follow it; move on. Same goes for you. Sorry man. I wouldn't worry about the kiss. You went for it...you followed your gut and went for it. Nothing to be sorry about that. If she isn't in to it...then just realize that this probably isn't meant to me. You're both on different steps right now.
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