Blarg Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I wanna break it off one day, then I change my mind the next... I'm happy to see her, then I wish she'd go away... I'm ready for a date, then I don't wanna go... I give her a call, then I just wanna hang up... I dunno what's goin on... It's been like this for awhile... so Hot and Cold all the time... We broke up once, but then got back together inside of two weeks. Blaaarrrrggg... This ever happened to you? What's it mean?
acidrein_08 Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I feel the same way but we broke up a week ago.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 When I get that feeling, it means I'm right in the middle of the falling out of love process. I still have enough of an emotional investment to recognize the benefits of the relationship and enjoy them, but far enough along that I'm recognizing that the benefits aren't enough to make me want to stick around. Basically - you still care for her and enjoy her company, but you aren't as interested in the relationship itself.
emotionsmessmeup Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 maybe u just need a little space.... and need to think it thru rationally...
clynn Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Yah, I guess get some space. How long have you been dating / together? It could also be anxiety about relatinship stuf.f
Blarg Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 We've been going out for about a year. There's nothing really wrong with the relationship, just kinda meh most of the time. I dunno what there is to think through, just kinda feelings, good and bad... Blaaaaaaarrrrgg!
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 You might just be falling out of the relationship, but it could be a touch of commitmentphobia too.... are you keen when she hangs back and panic a bit when she rushes forwards? Whichever, it would be a good idea to take space, calm things down, be honest with the girl and do your best to be kind and protect her heart in this process. Mixed messages will only hurt her - tell her you have mixed feelings.
axle_boy Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 I wanna break it off one day, then I change my mind the next... I'm happy to see her, then I wish she'd go away... I'm ready for a date, then I don't wanna go... I give her a call, then I just wanna hang up... I dunno what's goin on... It's been like this for awhile... so Hot and Cold all the time... We broke up once, but then got back together inside of two weeks. Blaaarrrrggg... This ever happened to you? What's it mean? It took me a year and a half of feeling similar to the way you feel about your girlfriend to finally know for sure that I wanted to be with her 100%. It takes me a long time to know for sure if I want to be with a woman long term. Once I know I usually don't change my mind for long time afterward. That is just me, everyone is different.
CurlyIam Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 I'm really tempted to threadjack here . I'm worse: I thik I want to leave him but I'm scared. And then I have the in and out phase, one day thinking we'll be fine and stay together, another just needing space. What I usually do when I am stuck, is ... I leave the country. LOOL, private joke for those who know my story. Boy... I don't knowwhat to tell you. Take your time and just be intouch with yourself. Think a lot about why you want to leave and see if you can forgive and forget. Rememeber that no one is perfect and that our ability to be happy stays in our ability to forgive those around us. My main problem is my ego. Huge as a house. Wonder if I'll end up putting it before my relationship. I understand that you're miserable. That's where I am, for sure!!
clynn Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 axle_boy...... .... were there things or ways about your gf that made it possible for you to stay in that state for one and a 1/2 year before you felt stronger and clearer? Was she patient, easygoing. Honest, straightforward? Or were there things that made it more difficult but it got there anyhow?
sarah12 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 I'd like to hear what axle_boy thought as well. How do you go from those feelings of not wanting to be with the person to wanting them 100%?? For me, when I thought about breaking up with my ex, it was over....I just couldn't reverse my thought process... But then I dated a guy who later went back to his ex after me...they had broken up a few times before and after me...and now they are together and I think it's 100%..but he used to tell me that he had fallen out of love with her, couldn't feel anything for her anymore..and he lied to her all the time about not wanting to see her...and so it wasn't going to work, nothing could fix it. So now I'm curious as to what did fix it.. blarg - I think you should definitely think about this one a lot, why do you feel this way, is it about her or is it about you? i.e. you wanting more freedom, wanting to meet other people...I think that most people, no matter how much they see their gf/bf, they only do so because they actually want to..maybe I am naive to think like this..but if you wished that someone went away..that sounds like a big red flag to me..
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