SadNLonley Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 This is not about me, but a friend of mine. She has been talking to a guy on the phone for the past 4 months that she met online. He has 1 pic on his profile and has since only sent 1 additional pic of himself. He lives almost 500 miles away. Just yesterday she gave this guy her credit card number over the phone to book a flight to visit him for the 1st time at his home for an entire week. I am a bit concerned for her on many levels. 1. Giving out a cc number over the phone to someone she has never met 2. Flying to see him vs him coming to see her 3. Only seeing 2 pics of this guy (granted i get its not all about looks) 4. Staying for 7 days in his home. Am I being over critical of this situation or she being a bit aloof about it all? She tells me it feels right to her to do this and that she trusts him. The other thing that concerns me is that she is already talking about him saying he would move anywhere for a woman and she is already thinking of him picking up and moving here. Thats a bit extreme to me. Especially for a woman in her 50's that keeps saying that she doesn't NEED a man, but would like one. If this guy doesnt call one night she is ticked off and wondering where he is and what he is doing. Sounds like she is thinking they are already in a relationship. Thoughs? I dont want to be the friend that worries, but I kind of am.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Wow, she lacks judgment. A safer play would have been to book her own flight & hotel. Then meet him in a public place. I share your bad feelings but at this point all you can do is ask her to give you his # & contact info (address where she will be staying) & to call you every day while she's there so you know she's safe. At a minimum, I'd look him up on line.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 This is absolutely insane and you know it. Literally nothing about this situation is okay and your friend needs a reality check. The good news is, she might just escape phyical harm because he'll probably continue bilking her for everything he can get out of her (including more credit card info) but probably never go through with the meet. The bad news is....see above.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Okay, hold your horses for a minute... She gave her credit card over the phone to this stranger who is supposed to pruchase a plane ticker for HER to visit him? Has she received her plane tickets already then? If not, you have nothing to worry about except that she will want to cancel that credit card. This guy has no intention of buying her a ticket or flying her anywhere. Classic case of a Nigerian money scam. I've see it a hundred times. 1
Author SadNLonley Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Classic case of a Nigerian money scam. I've see it a hundred times. Oh crap. Dont say that. I dont know how this is working. Not sure if she got confirmation via email or if she got anything yet? She knows the flight schedule and thats it. Yes, I know that is totally ridiculous to give your cc card away. The least this guy could have done was send her the link to the flight and walk her through the process to do it herself. She is a bit inexperienced in travel, but still all it would have taken was guidance from him on the phone without actually knowing her cc information. Also, if he wanted her to come see him, why didnt he buy her ticket? there are so many concerns, but she thinks she has this under control cuz they have been talkingfor 4 months on the phone.
MidwestUSA Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Oh crap. Dont say that. I dont know how this is working. Not sure if she got confirmation via email or if she got anything yet? She knows the flight schedule and thats it. Yes, I know that is totally ridiculous to give your cc card away. The least this guy could have done was send her the link to the flight and walk her through the process to do it herself. She is a bit inexperienced in travel, but still all it would have taken was guidance from him on the phone without actually knowing her cc information. Also, if he wanted her to come see him, why didnt he buy her ticket? there are so many concerns, but she thinks she has this under control cuz they have been talkingfor 4 months on the phone. It's amazing how much time these guys will invest if they think they have a gullible one on the hook. My girlfriend got a dozen red roses (more than once) from a guy in England, who was making his way here. Got mugged a couple days before he was supposed to leave, and wanted her to pay his way over (something about a time crunch/inability to rectify things fast enough on his end to get cash - there's always extenuating circumstances). Oh, they talked for hours too. Imagine seeing your friend declare he's 'the one' and damn near be planning a wedding before your eyes. Oh, she was 57 at the time; gullibility/blinding by 'love' has no limits. Has she at least checked the activity on her credit card and/or cancelled it? Trust me, he felt her out enough to know she's not only trusting, but not tech savvy. Keep us posted, I'm curious. 1
Author SadNLonley Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 Ya know, I haven't spoken to her tonight yet, but I will ask her to check. I bet she just doesnt even think anything like that would happen. Glad its not just me seeing the red flags, but trying to convince someone at her age what to do is hard. Even her mom has concerns, but she tells her the same thing. 1
Snakechammah Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 You are such a lovely friend to be so concerned. I hope you manage to talk some sense into her! Red flags all over. A woman's basic armour is always to be independent so she can never get fooled by love (aka, smart enough to buy your own air tickets and hotel!) I hope this dude is true and honest, but as a precaution, your friend should change her credit card before he uses it to finance his bankrupt kingdom in Nigeria.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Ya know, I haven't spoken to her tonight yet, but I will ask her to check. I bet she just doesnt even think anything like that would happen. Glad its not just me seeing the red flags, but trying to convince someone at her age what to do is hard. Even her mom has concerns, but she tells her the same thing. I have encountered several of these men over the years and have done a lot of research on them. After you meet one, they aren't hard to spot. They have a very distinct style and pattern but they are also continually evolving and coming up with new angles the more they are exposed. They are EVERYWHERE!!! Honestly. Anywhere where there is an internet connection BOOM! I would start with doing an image search of the one or two pics he sent her. It's not a full proof method of smoking out fakes but it's a start. There are even websites dedicated to identifying these idiots and where victims can report their experiences as a warning to others. They even have pages and pages of profiles and pics that have been known to be used in these kinds of scams. The only unique thing in her situation is that she's been speaking with this guy on the phone. A new twist on the old theme. It might not be the Nigerian scam but there are countless other felons on this side of the ocean running their own scams so I wouldn't have her order the china pattern just yet. One of my best girlfriends had a phone "relationship" that lasted for about 3 months and it turned out to be money scam Please keep us posted!
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