Crying Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Hey. My boyfriend have been dating for 2 years. I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and often get paranoid in relationships and I need some help identifying if something is wrong or if I'm just being silly paranoid again. My boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. He broke up with me once around the time we started dating because for some reason at thr time, I was uncomfortable with him smoking pot so he broke up with me for that. Then we got back together the next day, realizing it was silly. He broke up with me again a few months after that because I was always depressed and going suicidal. But he came back the next day. Then he broke up with me for good at the beginning if this year. What happened was he acted cold and stopped saying I love you, stopped texting callig and hanging out as much with me for a month. He said he wanted to be single forever. So we were apart for 2 months. Then he came back to me, all sweet and giving me gifts and stuff, telling me he left because he wanted to get better for me and my depression. That he missed me and there is no one else like me. I told him I have to think about it and he said ok, he will be as patient as he can and loving as he can. I made up my mind after a few weeks and took him back. We were very happy for 2 months (thats how long weve been dating again) but then he went to summer camp. He gave me good morning calls and good night calls and texted me between camp class breaks, but he stopped doing that today and yesterday and is acting cold just like he did 2 months ago. Im just paranoid the same thing is happening again. Im confused and paranoid. He has aspergers syndrome by the way. Am i being silly or is something actually wrong? Hes going to be at camp for 3 more weeks. Hes usually antisocialble and me and his sister is all the people he talks to and considers his social life. Since hes autistic, surrounding himself with too much people will stress him out.
gris Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Your paranoia sounds justified. You shouldn't reduce your feelings to your condition, as I would imagine most people (myself included) in a relationship this fragile would not feel too stable. Let me be blunt: This relationship sounds toxic to me. On-again off-again is never good. In a truly healthy relationship, the immediate response to difficulties is not breaking up. If this is happening repeatedly, maybe it's healthier for both of your mental states for you two to remain apart. The mention of summer camp makes me think you are very young, in which case, don't sit around tormenting yourself over a guy who continually cuts you off -- he is disrespecting the value of your relationship, ASD or not. Make yourself happy. Find things that make you happy. And then meet someone who contributes to your happiness, but doesn't define it. That said, if you really, really, really think this is worth working for, if he makes you happy in ways that no one else can (apart from the small rush you get when you guys rekindle), if at your cores you feel you are made for one another, you all need to genuinely work on it -- no breaking up, no throwing tantrums, no cutting each other off. Just genuine, communicative, caring conversation and hard work. If you can't do it alone, and both of you are OK with sharing, get someone to help (a counselor, trusted friend, pastor). Communication is key. Be honest with him about how you feel and be honest with yourself about what you want. Also, *hugs*!
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