ThatsANo Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Let me make this brief and short. So I’ve been dating this person for about 6.5 years and towards the end of our relationship she broke it off (not exactly mutually) because of GIGS. The first three weeks were a nightmare for me, but after that I’ve been coping pretty well I would say. There are numerous problems I am dealing with and was wondering if people could give me some insight on it. One problem I’m having is letting go. I still feel possessive of her and worried about her when I know damn well that’s the last thing I need for my mental health. I have to work on not only dealing with this but forgetting about her. Another problem I am having is that we had a pet together from our relationship, we agreed to share custody of the pet every 2-3 weeks evenly, but she isn’t holding her end of the bargain. I had the dog for a bit longer than a month and every time I mention giving her the pet she kind of makes an excuse how she is so busy, and kind of looks at me and says, “you have no job and the place you live is amazing for him, you take care of him for now”. Part of me feels upset because I can’t shake this feeling that she is just using me to take care of the pet and as a way to weigh me down as her “backup”. Another problem with the pet is that she always uses it somehow to start a conversation with me when she feels like it. So the pet is undergoing a procedure today and she had to be there for financial reasons, we briefly talked about an online person who we both know and she has been getting interest in. He puts a lot of time into this game he plays and I casually asked her if he had a job. She replied no, and I said “shieet”. She immediately goes defensive on me and defends him and says “you have flaws too you know, you don’t have a job”. This statement enraged me on the inside but I played it off as best as I could. It made me feel that I really should switch to no contact, simply because, if we ever become something else other than acquaintances, I won’t ever get the respect I deserve from her again. Also she says that 2-3 years down the line we can try again see if it works. We all know that’s a lie though right? Ha. I need some insight on what to do regarding my problems.
Smarty Pants Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Stop talking to her. If taking care of the dog is too much of a responsibility, do it yourself. Don't go out of your way to make sure she gets her time with it. She is clearly resentful towards you and that isn't going to change any time soon. You two need to stop talking to each other for a very long time.
Zahara Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Also she says that 2-3 years down the line we can try again see if it works. We all know that’s a lie though right? Ha. I need some insight on what to do regarding my problems. Baloney. She doesn't even know what she's going to have for dinner tomorrow but she's talking about 2-3 years from now. Dumbest, but the most manipulative thing a dumper can tell you. Go NC. Keep the dog and stop using it as an excuse to make contact. She clearly isn't invested in it. 1
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