BoatingBabe Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Anyone have good/bad experiences they'd like to share? I just joined eharmony and have no idea what to expect.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe Anyone have good/bad experiences they'd like to share? I just joined eharmony and have no idea what to expect. well according to that old trustworthy-looking dude in the commercials you will find the love of your life utilizing their "27 compatibility indicators" or whatever magical forumla they have come up with. good luck, you will most likely need it. i've been on another major site for past 4 yrs on and off. mostly not worth it. one woman i met a yr ago we talked and emailed for 2 months. then she send me pics that were taken from a mile away. she said she was a member of MENSA, so i said "isn't that a group of nerdy people with no social skills". she said "no". so i agree to meet her a few wks later for drinks cause she sounded OK over the phone and sure enuf, she was a nerd. that about sums it up BOATINGBABE.
moimeme Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I've done all the questionnaires at the sites and then end up on their rosters. I look through the ads from time to time and every once in a while when I get a 'wink' or 'smile' or whatever but it's kinda like browsing through a catalogue in a doctor's office. I'm not interested in making a match, just looking at the stuff others'll be picking out of vague curiosity. However one of my friends has been on match for a while and has been fairly pleased with the result. Actually, I haven't heard from her for a while so maybe this latest one has really taken off. I should call her LOL.
CurvyGurl Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I am on my 3rd bout with E harmony. Both times I paid I ended up getting my money back before the 7 days were up. $49.99 is a lot to pay for no matches. Absolutely nothing for over a year and a half. E-H sent me a message the day before V Day saying I had two matches. Very convenient, eh? And a coupon code for 3 months for the price of one that conveniently expired on V Day. I think they wanted me to join or something *shrugs* The first guy seemed ok, the second guy lived too far away and all his answers pointed to 'I LOVE MONEY'. So i didn't feel like that one match was worth signing up for. And neither of them have contacted me, so they are not paying members or they haven't checked the site. The benefit of E-H is that any man that finishes that dang long profile is serious about finding someone. In my opinoin, the downsides far outweigh the benefits: Cannot search through profilesHave to wait for E-H to send matches to you-- you could get 3 in one day or none for a monthSometimes the people sent to me was nothing I had said I was loooking for. E-H even threw some people at me that lived nowhere near me, even though I had put location as a must have. I think there are other sites that cost less and give you more freedom, like being able to write your own introduction- like True.com, match.com, yahoopersonals.com, Twofakind.com. Peoplemeet.com is ok but I got messages from everywhere in the US except for the area I LIVE in. It's what you make it. It can be fun entertainment if you don't take it too seriously. Word to the wise--- don't pay a THING until you find more than one person you would not mind paying to talk to. Paying right out and then doing a search and finding nothing is a frustrating waste of money.
Author BoatingBabe Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 Well I already got 7 matches in 1 day...I'm not putting my hopes in this too much..but might be a good way to clear my mind on other stuff going on in my life.
hongkongchick Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 i never joined eharmony. back when i did online dating, all turned out bad, so i quit trying. i like meeting people in person. so from my experiences with online dating services: does not help much, if any!
MassiveAtom Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Funny story. I HAD a profile up on Match UNTIL my #1 match for two weeks wa smy ex-wife!! They don't work!!
ttjames Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I HAD a profile up on Match UNTIL my #1 match for two weeks wa smy ex-wife!! LOL.. that's great Atom
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 the other thing is that after u read a hundred or so of the ads they all sound exactly the frikkin' same. on these sites you cannot diferentiate anyone from anyone else. online we all look exactly alike. that is a big downside.
mcjlec Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I actually dated 3 guys from match, who turned out to be decent. But, because I was not ready to be exclusive (just got out of a 15-yr marriage), none panned out. I found, that most if not all, on match.com are looking for a long-term relationship. Good luck with your search ...
WHATINTHE... Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I think the gist of it is nice, but the ratio of successful couple to the unsuccessful, does not make it work the money you spend to MAYBE find the man of your dreams. But all the power to you if you do find happiness with your computer!
Author BoatingBabe Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 happiness with my computer? You have just the same percentage of meeting a dick in a bar/club then you do online...you think people who you meet in real life don't use computers???.
MassiveAtom Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe happiness with my computer? You have just the same percentage of meeting a dick in a bar/club then you do online...you think people who you meet in real life don't use computers??? I think he meant happiness "USING" your computer.
Debster Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I'm not familiar with eharmony. In canada, there is Lavalife and Quest Personals. I met my husband through Lavalife. We also recently attended a wedding of another couple who also met on Lavalife. And I work with a woman who met her husband on Quest Personals. My Maid of Honour who lives in the US met her live-in boyfriend online on Match (I think that one is big in the States). Just goes to show that YES you can meet the man/woman of your dreams online. There are many things you should know about online dating, I think I responded to a post before outlining them. To save me retyping try doing a search on it.
MassiveAtom Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 The one thing I've noticed that's woefully missing from online dating is the organic factor. If you're out there LIVING life, doing things that interest you, you're likely to meet someone with common interests. That's why so many people hook up through the work place. There's something VERY important about being IN what you're into and meeting someone. At least IMO. Every person I found compatible in my Yahoo Personals days, turned out to be VERY different from what I was looking for. I just think it's better to plug into your life than into your wall.
Author BoatingBabe Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by Debster I'm not familiar with eharmony. In canada, there is Lavalife and Quest Personals. I met my husband through Lavalife. We also recently attended a wedding of another couple who also met on Lavalife. And I work with a woman who met her husband on Quest Personals. My Maid of Honour who lives in the US met her live-in boyfriend online on Match (I think that one is big in the States). Just goes to show that YES you can meet the man/woman of your dreams online. There are many things you should know about online dating, I think I responded to a post before outlining them. To save me retyping try doing a search on it. Many of my friends have met their SO through some sort of internet connection as well...I never tried it,,but it's worth a shot..worst that can happen is that I waste a few hours of my time...
Debster Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Sometimes your best match is your opposite. After all, IMO for a relationship to stay alive and vibrant, you need time apart as well as time together. You want someone who can complete you, not be your twin. My strengths are my husband's weakness - and his strengths are my weakness. That is what makes it work. Both me and my husband were living - we were just enjoying completely different interests. Mine were softball and beach volleyball whereas my husband's was fishing, sailing and camping. He introduces me to his - some I hate, some I like - and vice versa, I introduce him to new interests. I think that if you really, really want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with - you do whatever you can to find him. I'm so glad I took the time and effort to go online. Granted I met some idiots as well as some great guys. Most importantly, i met the love of my life, my husband.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe Many of my friends have met their SO through some sort of internet connection as well...I never tried it,,but it's worth a shot..worst that can happen is that I waste a few hours of my time... well BOATINGBABE, you only hear about the successful hookups. For each successful relationship or marriage that happens due to the internet there hundreds if not thousands that don't pan out. Match.com claims they have had "thousands" of marriages due to their services but the also have like 3 million members registered. So what are the real odds??? prob pretty low.
VirginiaBob Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I met one of my ex-fiance's on match.com and also have dated a lot of women because of it. Also tried the eharmony, but not as succesful due to the lack of matches they send you. One thing I notice is that when you meet someone in real life that you met online, it's really doesn't feel like a real date so things don't seem to pan out as easily, but the sheer numbers make up for that disadvantage.
Debster Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I was online off and on for about three years. I met about 30 men, had about 5 that went to more than a first date, dated two seriously and married one. My husband was online for about two years and met about 100 women. He had maybe 2-4 women that went to more than a first date. Then he met me.
Author BoatingBabe Posted February 16, 2005 Author Posted February 16, 2005 I hear that alphamale..but it can just be another outlet for me to use...I don't have problems meeting men, in general, quality men however are hard to come by....So this can't hurt....I don't mind meeting friends either if they don't work in a romantic way... I don't date people at work...anymore.....because of a multitude of reasons...the old adage, don't **** where you eat kinda rings a bell...
MerAlene Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 I've been on just about every e-personals site out there off and on for literally 7 or 8 YEARS. Match, FriendFinder, AmericanSingles, Yahoo Personals, eHarmony... I could go on. I think the keys are an open mind and PERSEVERANCE. I had A LOT of "first meetings" that never made it to an actual date. I was working in a tiny office for years with no way of meeting new people other than at bars. I did speed dating a time or two, but the results were nil and it was expensive for the one night events. My last relationship lasted for almost a year, and we had met through Match.com. We fell in love with each other, but we were very incompatible in a lot of ways. We're still friends, and I'm glad he was and still is a part of my life. I met my current love through eHarmony. We've only been together for 4 months, but there are SO many things about us that are alike. We have a lot of fun together and communicate very well. I've fallen in love, and I think he's getting there - he just hasn't verbalized it yet. I can't say if it's eHarmony and the 27 dimensions that is making this one work so far, but there just might be something to that. Rob & I are compatible in all the important ways that Van (ex) & I were not. I will say that although I was sent A LOT of matches in my 3 months with eHarmony, I only found TWO people that were worth meeting in person. I didn't actually meet my boyfriend in person until after my 3 months on eHarmony were up - luckily we were emailing outside of the site by then. So, again... perseverance. Stick with it. If you don't like spending the money - take a break from it now and then and try different avenues. But my feeling is that this way of meeting people for dating/relationships isn't going to go away, and it's best to keep an open mind about it. Your own Mr. Right could be out there online now, you just have to find each other.
alphamale Posted February 16, 2005 Posted February 16, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe I hear that alphamale..but it can just be another outlet for me to use...I don't have problems meeting men, in general, quality men however are hard to come by....So this can't hurt....I don't mind meeting friends either if they don't work in a romantic way... I don't date people at work...anymore.....because of a multitude of reasons...the old adage, don't **** where you eat kinda rings a bell... oh, i'm not telling u not to use it as an ADJUNCT to meeting men, BOATINGBABE. all i am saying is be realistic and keep your expectaions in check and don't use it as your primary way to meet men.
moimeme Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 well BOATINGBABE, you only hear about the successful hookups. For each successful relationship or marriage that happens due to the internet there hundreds if not thousands that don't pan out. Same with 3D meeting.
alphamale Posted February 17, 2005 Posted February 17, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Same with 3D meeting. ahh but MOIMEME...i know many more people that have had successful relationships or hooked up by meeting in 4D (this includes dimension of time) vs. thru the internet sites. meeting online is way down on the list of ways to meet others.
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