Carenth Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 So I had a pretty awful breakup about 5 months ago, I was cheated on for the first time in my life. It has really done a number on me to the point I just feel numb inside and am finding it hard to let anyone in now. I recently had a fling with a girl I met at a party but I called it off after a few weeks because I felt nothing inside, I felt like I was just going through the motions. Which is annoying because I actually did like her but I feel like something is still off with myself and felt it was unfair to continue whilst I'm feeling like this. I'm tired of feeling this way, I want to trust people again but I was burnt so badly. I'm trying my best to move on but it feels like I'm stuck in some regards.
Alcatraz Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Same for me. I was cheated on by my ex (unfortunately not the first time this has happened to me) and I don't feel I can trust anyone. It's only been a couple of months since my break up though. I really think that given time, we will be able to trust again.
d0nnivain Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 When your trust is broken it can be hard to get it back. You do have to remind yourself that the new person is not your old cheating SO. You may have felt nothing for the new girl because deep down you really weren't ready to date.
Author Carenth Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 You may have felt nothing for the new girl because deep down you really weren't ready to date. More than likely this is the case. I was really put through the ringer with my last relationship, I moved to the other side of the world to be with her only to find out she was cheating on me 3 months after moving. So I moved back home doing good in other aspects of my life. Professionally I'm doing really good however I just feel pretty numb inside. Most days I'm "Okay" at best otherwise I'm angry or sad. Just getting very tired of it all. I never want to talk to my ex again and I haven't since the day I walked out at the end of January. I feel it will be a long time until I'm ready to risk being treated so poorly again. I'm well aware that the new person is not my ex just yeah, not so easy to learn to trust again.
lime87 Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you, it sounds awful and I would be exactly the same - such a big betrayal of your feelings will take time to heal until the point where you're ready to give yourself to someone again in a relationship. I completely understand the feeling of being "stuck" but it will pass, and it sounds like you weren't ready to have a relationship with the new girl. Not every girl will hurt you like your ex did but it's hard to put yourself in a position where it might - but ultimately that's what relationships are. It's good to hear you're not speaking to your ex and doing well professionally, but make sure you look after yourself at a personal level, do things that make you happy, talk to someone, whatever. You are slowly building yourself up after a horrible, traumatic event and once you get out of the "fog" you can learn to trust again. It's hard when you feel sad and angry, I know. But you'll get there.
bubbaganoosh Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Before you move on to another relationship, you have to get the last one out of your system. It's like a bad case of the flu. Once your over the illness, your still weak and not nearly up to par like you were before you got sick. If you aren't healed, chances are you going to meet a nice girl who really can make you happy and with your mindset, not let her in your life and next thing you know, she's gone. It takes time and I know what your going through. I lived it and some people can get over it in record time and for others it takes longer. Just make sure that your over it before you decide to get involved with a girl who is willing to give 100% and so are you. If not and you only can give 60 or 70%, she's going to pick up on that and then she moves on.
Itspointless Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Ten years ago I also have been cheated on, so I know how rotten it feels. It is hard to trust again. I was also thinking about it the last couple of days regarding my latest experience how I notice that my trust is also low at this moment. You give people the opportunity to hurt you and a sudden moment you just cant believe they actually will. But believe me your trust will return, give it time. Good luck man.
realfriends Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 I unfortunately was cheated on as well and know how bad it hurts because I know how low I felt. I thought I hit rock bottom and maybe I did. 5 years sharing your life with someone only for them to throw it all away and disrespect you in the worst way possible. But I learned a lot from it. I wrote a thread about this topic after sometime because it took me a long time to overcome exactly what you are facing. You can read it if you want here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/472024-trust-jealousy On that link is a video that really enlightens me. Really makes me motivated and helped me overcome the barrier. You can also watch that if you want here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWypWe9UAhQ Just know, trust is your relationship to the unknown, what you can't control, and you can't control everything. That really resonates with me. Maybe it'll help you.
Itspointless Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Thank you very much for that video, the text is amazing as are the images. 1
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