Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Slowly getting to know this guy and we have seen each other on average twice a week ( which for me is a lot). And old guy I use to like is dating someone else but wanted to take me for dessert to catch up with me as he hadn't seen me in a while. I know I'm dating someone & he's dating someone & it feels kind of platonic. I find difficult to like someone when someone else finds me desirable. Kind of like a vaccine to the old guy I use to date. I have friends that say this is a bad idea. But it's dessert & a catch up? Right? What do others think?
todreaminblue Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 what do you mean you find it difficult? why? are you single or with someone
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 what do you mean you find it difficult? why? are you single or with someone No no i mean when someone like the guy I'm dating is into me then i barely like or think about someone else in a r.omantic way. I'm pleasantly and refreshingly being courted. And I'm getting to know someone and developing feelings for the guy who likes me
Gaeta Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I have a rule for everything so of course I have a rule for that. Catching up with someone of opposite sex is done over brunch, or lunch, or coffee (cake if you wish) but never dinner or evening, and never ever with alcohol involved. Ask yourself if the man you are dating wanted to catch up with an ex-prospect-turned-friend how would you like him to do it. Don't do anything you would not want your bf to do.
J21 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 What would you get out of meeting and catching up with this old guy? Did you honestly know him for that long and had a friendship beforehand? If not, who cares about "catching up"? "Oh I'm dating someone new" "Omg me too!" "So glad we did this!" Seems like if you have a good thing going with the new guy, it's a waste of time and energy to meet the old guy. Don't think anything good would come of it too, only potential to create drama? (new guy gets confused, thinks someone else is in the mix, you're playing games, and the dynamics change, he might start looking for other options thinking you're doing the same, etc).
Diezel Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Now let's imagine I'm that guy you are actively dating and I tell you that I have an old female friend who has invited me to "dessert and catch-up"... how would you feel?
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Are you exclusive with the new guy? If not, you are free to have dessert with anybody. Dessert sounds sensual so I would not think it was solely platonic. Since you still like the old guy, if seeing him might rekindle something & you don't want that -- & especially if the issues which drove you apart aren't fixed -- stay away.
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