Mjm1014 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 So this girl and I went on a first date last Saturday and had a blast. She kept telling me on the date how much fun she was having and even wanted to go on a "walk" and said she "wanted us to get lost" because she didn't want the night to end. She invited me out this weekend also (obviously that's not happening now).... For the next four or five days we talked everyday and she was being all flirty but the last day or so she got really distant. Tonight she sent me a txt out of the blue saying "I'm a great guy, but she thinks we should go separate ways because I need to find someone that cares just as much as I do." I'm completely baffled what I did. I totally admit I was showing way too much interest (partly because she was showing me a lot) but I think I went over the top and I guess. I responded "thanks for leading me on, peace" and got no reply. I guess this is sort of a question but really it's just me venting also. I think I'm cooked right? Time to move on? Any suggestions? I just don't understand why this always happens to me. First great date then about a week later it's over. I need to become an ******* I guess.
LostOnes05 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Happens to the best of us bro! Keep moving forward! By any chance, did you meet this girl online? Don't become an jerk though. It won't help you in the long run. I'm genuinely nice to people because that's who I am. Don't change that aspect of yourself because you think that's what attracts women. It may not garner you many dates or adoration, but the woman that is right for you and appreciates your attitude towards others will certainly let you know it. I have found it true to an extent (in some of the relationships I've seen) that many women put up with jerks for much longer than they probably should. But that's just a general observation. Best of luck and don't take it to heart! Happened to me, happened to you, probably happening to a guy right now! 4
Author Mjm1014 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Yeah man I met her on Tinder. She just be a quick mover...oh well. Thanks for the reply
Diezel Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 #1: Stop texting back and forth every day, you are killing the attraction that way. #2: It happens. She could have found someone new in that week, or maybe your texts after the date turned her off (because we don't even know WHAT you were texting. #3: Thanks for leading me on? Next time someone says you should take your separate ways, you probably are better off deleting the message and the phone number. What kind of a response were you expecting other than something far worse than what you said? Learn to play it cool and slow down. 4
ThorntonMelon Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 You're definitely cooked. Happens - when the right one comes along, you won't get the out of the blue text...
PegNosePete Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Yes you're cooked. No need for vitriolic responses to rejection. Just ignore and move on. 1
Zahara Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 One date and a few days of banter and you're so emotionally invested that you respond that way? Yes, move on. Tone down your expectations and keep away from too much texting. You start to build a fantasy/image in your head too fast too soon and when it goes off the tracks, you're left disappointed. She was probably "getting lost" with other guys and most likely connected with someone else.
oberkeat Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 She enjoyed the moment and then on second thought decided no. Happens all time. Happened to me just last week. Don’t take it so personal. Your response to her rejection was unnecessary. You handled it completely the wrong way. You need to understand that no matter what you do, some girls will not want to date you; moreover, you do not want to date someone who isn’t that into you anyway -- it's just not worth it. Once I realized that, it became easy for me to quickly (and gracefully) accept a rejection. That mindset can only be learned through more experience with dating. Next time just forget about her, and move on to the next girl, if you want my advice. 1
Omei Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 She didn't lead you on, you spent time together and she came to the conclusion that you were not her match. Your response was terrible that would of only made her believe that her choice was definitely the right choice. By your "this always happens to me" my guess is when you date girls you're thinking way ahead and take it too personally, someone you have known for a week you should be able to thank them for the good time and maybe suggest friendship. Don't get so attached, that might actually be what scared her off. 1
DeluxeYou Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Well sorry... Next time, you may show appreciation for the time you spent with the person and go on to ask her what was the turn of for her, to help you improve in the future. For now you have to move on, IMO. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck with the next one.
todreaminblue Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 if i didn't think a guy and me were a match after a first date and he sent a well wishes message and a thank you for your time message i would say hey......i have changed my mind lets go out again.......because it shows a charm .......and a true gentleman with compassion and integrity as another poster suggested.........and those sort of traits in a man are perfect ones...they would have been the ones i didnt see on a first date to give it a go in the first place.............deb
DArtagnan2 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 sorry bro, it stinks for sure. My guess, she being on Tinder, she was still on Tinder and talking to another dude she would rather be with. People will judge your response, but more times than not, most people will text something snarky back if the situation was the same. I mean shoot, great date, everyday talking/texting then one day, oops sorry, find someone else. To me, thats kind of leading someone on. next time, just find a more calm response or don't respond at all.
J21 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 You pretty much burned the bridge when you said "thanks for leading me on, peace". Don't worry man, it happens to all of us. She just had a change of heart probably. 1
spiderowl Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 I think she probably had fun, wasn't sure you were the right guy for her but was happy to spend time with you and see how it went, then you started to say things that sounded serious. You may not even have been aware of what, but talking about the future as if you'll be together, asking where she's been or who she's been talking to, all the kind of things that can make one feel it's all going too fast. Maybe she's decided you are not 'the one', but either way, best to keep clear of her for a while and give her chance to miss you.
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