LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Okay, I knew one person who decided dating an adult film star was what he wanted and I thought it was just something this guy was into but now I know two guys doing this. I really can't understand this because these guys were so enamored with the idea before they even found someone. Can anybody explain to me what the attraction is?
Strength in Healing Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I assume that he assumes she's good in bed. I'd never go near one personally, but to each their own I suppose
ja123 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 It's because they're into cuckoldry or the whole hot wife fantasy. Just google it. There are forums on this kind of stuff. 1
LostOnes05 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 No idea, I couldn't do it. 1) I'd think about all those different scenarios and scenes 2) My mother would kill me 3) My mother would kill me, and my friends would laugh 4) My mother would kill me, my friends would laugh, and then probably go watch one of her movies
BikerAccnt Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Could it be because they actually like "the person" and not the actor? I don't' know, porn stars are people too. I imagine they have emotions, wants, and needs outside of the job just like the rest of us do. It would take a pretty special person to not get jealous and upset over that particular job though. I'd think it would be hard to find someone to date outside of the industry.
Author LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Could it be because they actually like "the person" and not the actor? Oh, I probably didn't explain real clearly one part of this: They were into the idea before actually knowing any person at all and these guys aren't the types to care much about getting to know a person. The idea of dating a porn star, any porn star is all they were concerned with. Couldn't have cared less who any of them are as people.
Elle1975 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Okay, I knew one person who decided dating an adult film star was what he wanted and I thought it was just something this guy was into but now I know two guys doing this. I really can't understand this because these guys were so enamored with the idea before they even found someone. Can anybody explain to me what the attraction is? I agree. They probably assume she's good in bed. Me, I'd be thinking the last thing the person would want to do is to go back to work after work lol 1
Author LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 It's because they're into cuckoldry or the whole hot wife fantasy. Just google it. There are forums on this kind of stuff. I think this explains it right here! I thought I had a grasp on what cuckoldry is but I looked into it more after reading your post and then, finally, this made a lot of sense! This also explains another friend of mine who refuses to date single women (unless she's a stripper) and has made a career of dating married women and women with boyfriends. Apparently he's got the hot wife fantasy in his head and thinks if no other guys want her, she's not attractive. I have been so confused by this guy for 20 years. He's even been attracted to me as long as I'm with someone else and when I've been single, it was like I practically didn't exist. Even if you really hit the nail on the head, I still find these guys a bit odd...
Author LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Some of these responses are really cracking me up! I'm glad you guys are finding some humor in this! I was under the mistaken impression that guys instinctively were attracted to women who weren't with other men. I thought women who are with someone else (or 50 someone else's a week) would be a big turnoff across the board for all men. While I knew this friend who has made a career out of only being attracted to women who are already taken, I thought he just didn't ever have a mind of his own and would constantly look to other guys choices as a way to figure out who's attractive. But when I suddenly knew two more, I realized something more was going on here!
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Because they're really good at playing Scrabble of course!!
hasaquestion Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Maybe guys want to do it because its interesting? The vast majority of relationships don't end up going far anyway. You can date the "normal woman", take her places for drinks for a month or so, talk about car insurance or whatever few things you have in common, have a few highs and lows until chances are you both realize it isn't going to work, and move on to the next "normal woman". Or you can date the pornstar, have some crazy sex, get out of your comfort zone in general, and end up with a story to laugh about some day. Yeah its dumb but who cares? Life is short.
GorillaTheater Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Some of these responses are really cracking me up! I'm glad you guys are finding some humor in this! I was under the mistaken impression that guys instinctively were attracted to women who weren't with other men. I thought women who are with someone else (or 50 someone else's a week) would be a big turnoff across the board for all men. While I knew this friend who has made a career out of only being attracted to women who are already taken, I thought he just didn't ever have a mind of his own and would constantly look to other guys choices as a way to figure out who's attractive. But when I suddenly knew two more, I realized something more was going on here! Some men want to specifically date porn performers. Some women seek out men in prison. Some people are a bit whacked. 2
hasaquestion Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Furthermore, women date men because they are fun or exciting all the time. Yet when a guy wants to pick a partner on that basis, he must have some kind of strange Freudian cuckold fantasy???? Doesn't make sense. 2
KathyM Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Why would you want to be friends with a guy who gets a kick out of getting women to cheat on their husbands/boyfriends? Don't people have any standards for who they give their friendship to? If you hang around losers, you will become one. 2
iris219 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Some men like the idea that dating him will be so awesome she will give up porn. It's the same appeal for strippers and hookers. He gets to save this hot, wayward girl from her unsavory lifestyle. 2
Author LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Why would you want to be friends with a guy who gets a kick out of getting women to cheat on their husbands/boyfriends? Don't people have any standards for who they give their friendship to? If you hang around losers, you will become one. Kathy, you've got yourself under the mistaken impressions that 1 - I don't have a lot of OTHER FRIENDS with high moral standards and 2 - (and more importantly) no man on this planet can make a woman cheat! Those cheaters were looking for a place to happen long before he showed up. ...I don't know how you gave yourself the idea I'm limited to 3 friends in life... But back on the subject, I'm getting surprised by a few responses because I honestly didn't expect anyone to defend these guys and try to find good hearted reasons for their choices. Like some people are having sympathy. I'm friends with them so of course I care about them so I'm not lacking sympathy here. I actually was originally too downright chicken to ask them about this because I was afraid it had something to do with low self-esteem and I was afraid asking them (however genuinely), I might make their situation worse. I don't know though if it makes a difference at all the latest one to make this choice is famous. Not super famous but he is famous though. He's attractive to an extreme (and the only one of the 3 who really is). I think it played a huge part in catapulting his career. The other two aren't ugly but women don't even notice them because they have nothing really going on for them. The attractive guy is what really got to my curiosity. I would think his self-esteem is in great shape, unlike the other two.
preraph Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I seriously doubt they're awesome in bed since that is their day job. Most hookers say if they ever marry, their poor husband will never get so much as a single BJ. It's because these guys were porn addicts and have trouble doing it with actual normal women, plus they think it makes them look studly, but it doesn't. Just sleazy and diseased.
ktya Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Tbh, i tried the "normal" thing and "normal" women are getting boring for me too. They want you to wine and dine them, blow money on them, kiss their a**, put up with their emotional bs and drama, its all so predictable. Ive also dated girls with boyfriends or in open relationships and i find them far more interesting. They dont wave their vagina in your face like a carrot on a stick they know what they want and they go for it.
hasaquestion Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Kathy, you've got yourself under the mistaken impressions that 1 - I don't have a lot of OTHER FRIENDS with high moral standards and 2 - (and more importantly) no man on this planet can make a woman cheat! Those cheaters were looking for a place to happen long before he showed up. ...I don't know how you gave yourself the idea I'm limited to 3 friends in life... But back on the subject, I'm getting surprised by a few responses because I honestly didn't expect anyone to defend these guys and try to find good hearted reasons for their choices. Like some people are having sympathy. I'm friends with them so of course I care about them so I'm not lacking sympathy here. I actually was originally too downright chicken to ask them about this because I was afraid it had something to do with low self-esteem and I was afraid asking them (however genuinely), I might make their situation worse. I don't know though if it makes a difference at all the latest one to make this choice is famous. Not super famous but he is famous though. He's attractive to an extreme (and the only one of the 3 who really is). I think it played a huge part in catapulting his career. The other two aren't ugly but women don't even notice them because they have nothing really going on for them. The attractive guy is what really got to my curiosity. I would think his self-esteem is in great shape, unlike the other two. If he's single and she's single, what could possibly be the problem? They don't need to be defended if they aren't doing anything wrong.
O'Malley Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I'd figure that it's primarily for the belt notch bragging rights, the same way people want to bed actors, musicians and other celebrities. Having a piece of the fantasy, even if it's just for a short time. Tbh, i tried the "normal" thing and "normal" women are getting boring for me too. They want you to wine and dine them, blow money on them, kiss their a**, put up with their emotional bs and drama, its all so predictable. Porn performers are normal people with the same emotional needs as anyone else. You hit on why some people want to date them, though; they erroneously assume that the sex and the interactions will be similar to the acting they see on the screen - no holds barred and free of complications.
Author LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 If he's single and she's single, what could possibly be the problem? They don't need to be defended if they aren't doing anything wrong. I didn't think they needed to be defended either. But I got a very strong vibe from a few responses that other people felt a need to defend them and find "good" reasons for their choices. I didn't let on at first that my main reason for not asking them directly was because I was afraid their self-esteem was totally shot or something. I was actually waiting for somebody to say right off the bat "why don't you just ask them?" so I thought I was going to end up explaining my reason for not asking rather quickly. I don't think their choices need to be defended but I did ask for opinions as to why someone would go so out of their way to date someone like these guys are and one is wanting to marry his porn star girlfriend which does scream to me "hot wife fantasy". This does make me question though why and how they can't seem to decide on their own who's attractive and look to other men as a gauge. 1
hasaquestion Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I didn't think they needed to be defended either. But I got a very strong vibe from a few responses that other people felt a need to defend them and find "good" reasons for their choices. I didn't let on at first that my main reason for not asking them directly was because I was afraid their self-esteem was totally shot or something. I was actually waiting for somebody to say right off the bat "why don't you just ask them?" so I thought I was going to end up explaining my reason for not asking rather quickly. I don't think their choices need to be defended but I did ask for opinions as to why someone would go so out of their way to date someone like these guys are and one is wanting to marry his porn star girlfriend which does scream to me "hot wife fantasy". This does make me question though why and how they can't seem to decide on their own who's attractive and look to other men as a gauge. I don't think there are "good reasons" for their choices per se. I wouldn't do it myself. Nor do I hold a grudge against women in general. What I take issue with is the categorization of the reasons for their choices as distinctly deviant or perverted. I'd argue that it is motivated by the same needs and priorities that "normal people" use to pick other "normal people", the majority of the time. And because of that, to sneer at someone single who says yes to dating an adult film star for having some kind of deviance or exotic Freudian personality disorders is, in my opinion, hypocritical and intellectually dishonest.
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) Tbh, i tried the "normal" thing and "normal" women are getting boring for me too. They want you to wine and dine them, blow money on them, kiss their a**, put up with their emotional bs and drama, its all so predictable. Ive also dated girls with boyfriends or in open relationships and i find them far more interesting. They dont wave their vagina in your face like a carrot on a stick they know what they want and they go for it. Wow, you're not at all jaded are you? What exactly is it YOU want then? I mean, if all you want is a good f*ck and without putting up the pretense of dinner and conversation than sure, bedding unavailable women or women who fall outside the "norm" would indeed be right up your alley. Why you bother dating "normal" women at all just seems like a huge waste of everyone's time and energy. As for this particular thread, I think that if your friends are of age, single and the whole thing is consensual then so be it. Personally, I don't get it myself but it's not my life to live. Live and let live Edited June 20, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle
Author LuckyLady13 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 As for this particular thread, I think that if your friends are of age, single and the whole thing is consensual then so be it. Personally, I don't get it myself but it's not my life to live. Live and let live I couldn't agree more. I was actually concerned about their self-esteem and wondered if something is wrong but they are consenting adults and I've got no problems with adults making choices completely different than the choices I'd make as long as nobody is getting hurt. 1
KathyM Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Kathy, you've got yourself under the mistaken impressions that 1 - I don't have a lot of OTHER FRIENDS with high moral standards and 2 - (and more importantly) no man on this planet can make a woman cheat! Those cheaters were looking for a place to happen long before he showed up. ...I don't know how you gave yourself the idea I'm limited to 3 friends in life... But back on the subject, I'm getting surprised by a few responses because I honestly didn't expect anyone to defend these guys and try to find good hearted reasons for their choices. Like some people are having sympathy. I'm friends with them so of course I care about them so I'm not lacking sympathy here. I actually was originally too downright chicken to ask them about this because I was afraid it had something to do with low self-esteem and I was afraid asking them (however genuinely), I might make their situation worse. I don't know though if it makes a difference at all the latest one to make this choice is famous. Not super famous but he is famous though. He's attractive to an extreme (and the only one of the 3 who really is). I think it played a huge part in catapulting his career. The other two aren't ugly but women don't even notice them because they have nothing really going on for them. The attractive guy is what really got to my curiosity. I would think his self-esteem is in great shape, unlike the other two. I never made reference to how many friends you have, which has nothing to do with my point. I'm merely saying that a guy who only is interested in married women or women who are in a relationship has a screw loose and a poor character. Why you would want such a creep as a friend is beyond me.
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