Glamvineflower Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I know he has been admiring from afar and when I've finally begun to notice him, we started to flirt subtly. We work together in a busy office so there isn't much of a chance for long conversations. We smile and wink at each other a lot and subtle touches as well but never really a real convo. He seems shy to initiate anything, but when we do talk he seems really happy that I talked to him. And Only when I showed signs of the smilingsubtleflirting did he start doing more of that in return. I am pretty sure he is single and interested, as he only does this with me. How can I get this to progress more? How can I make it easier and more comfortable for him to approach me for real conversations without seeming too eager? I do like all the butterflies and subtlety but at the same time, I do want to get to know him more. And I don't want him to be confused about my feelings for him. I feel that he may be feeling the same kind of confusion with me.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Work is a tricky place to build a relationship. Before you start know how you will deal when it ends Get him out of the office if you want to start something Next time colleagues are leaving the building for lunch or better yet, drinks after work, make sure he knows he's welcome
travelbug1996 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 be patient. let him come to you or you will regret it. Dont rush it and be sure to create some mystery for him. men like to lead so let him.
oberkeat Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) Why don't you just go up to him (in his office, outside, send him an email, whatever) and ask him out? Because you think it's the man's job to approach? I don't accept that. I personally respect a girl who's willing to go after the guy she wants. Edited June 20, 2014 by oberkeat
preraph Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Well, first be sure he's not already attached. Then find out if he's willing to risk his work reputation to date someone and possibly be stuck working with her after it blows up! 1
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 be patient. let him come to you or you will regret it. Dont rush it and be sure to create some mystery for him. men like to lead so let him. Ugh. archaic blather. Some men need to be figuratively hit in the head with a 2 x 4. Mystery is good. However, manipulating circumstances in your favor has been a time honored way of getting a recalcitrant man to step up since time immemorial. 1
Author Glamvineflower Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Ugh. archaic blather. Some men need to be figuratively hit in the head with a 2 x 4. Mystery is good. However, manipulating circumstances in your favor has been a time honored way of getting a recalcitrant man to step up since time immemorial. What would be a good way to "manipulate circumstances"? I want a balance. I don't want to be the one directly askin him out first. I want to keep the mystery but while also clearly showing that I am interested in more than flirting. I am willing to show how I feel but I do want him to take the initiative and take the lead. Guys should know that Confidence in a man is always a turn on.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Like I said in my original response, make sure he knows when your group is going out for lunch or after work for drinks. Encourage him to come along
Author Glamvineflower Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 This may not apply as we work on different levels/groups that do not mix. If anything, it would make more sense for him to ask me to come along since he is the more experienced and established position than me. I guess ultimately I want him to initiate.
DArtagnan2 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Work relationships can be tough and some times not end so well. So be careful to engage with someone at work. Even if you are in different departments or whatnot, stuff will still spread pretty fast as the office gossips get wind of anything going on. With that said, if the happened chances continue just make the most of them and maybe make a comment here or there as you pass. You could also check out lunch time. Meaning, do you eat in the breakroom or is there a cafeteria? Possibly see if you can find him around there if so. Or if he frequents somewhere outside of work for lunch, go there one day.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 This may not apply as we work on different levels/groups that do not mix. If anything, it would make more sense for him to ask me to come along since he is the more experienced and established position than me. I guess ultimately I want him to initiate. You aren't asking him on a date. You are networking within your company. Until you manipulate the situation so that he notices you, there's nothing for him to initiate because he's not aware that you exist on an interested level. You have to market yourself to him; make sure you cross his path kind of thing.
central Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Don't wait for him - ask him. For example, ask him if he'd like to meet you for a drink after work today at xxxx (something easy to find close by). Have tomorrow as a backup in case he can't. I'm sure he'll want to, and you can take it from there.
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