Mr.Smith83 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I usually don't do this but I'm pretty desperate at this moment if you will. My wife and I have been married for 6.5 years and about a year ago she started engaging in an emotional affair with a younger kid she was working with. It created a lot of problems between us and the most common thing said to me was "I don't feel an emotional connection to you, and he gives me what you can't". We ended up separating for a few months and during such she turned this into a full on sexual relationship with him. I felt like our marriage and family was over with and started to pursue life outside marriage. About 3 months after we separated and she claimed a new man as her own she started "coming back to me", ie saying she wants me back, she wants our family back. So we agree to go to counseling and try to work on things. From that point to today it's been roughly 4 months and things are ok, not great but progressing. She still talks to this other kid, hourly it seems and makes references to him being her "plan b" if we don't work out. I want nothing more than to see him accidentally fall of a tall cliff, but that's a different story. She still tells me she doesn't feel an emotional connection, there is no intimacy, more so from her and it's always and excuse. I know I'm emotionally ****ed not only because how I view emotions but also because she has raised her bar as to what I need to be at largely due to her affair she had. I was raised with the mentality that guys don't have emotions, don't cry and can only be seen as a strong person, not weak and girly. I have tried to share my feelings and emotions and all I get is the conversation turned into something about her and therefore I tend to shut down and stop talking to her about it. I love this woman and want to be the only guy she thinks about, the only guy she "needs" and "wants" in her life. I'm at a loss for words and feel this marriage could be doomed unless something happens. Help :,(
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Marriage is an 'All in" proposition. There is no Plan B. She's 3/4 of the way out the door. Unless she voluntarily walks back in, apologizes & locks the door behind her, you're better off ending this.
April Moon Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Hi OP! I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Don't be your wife's doormat. Women don't respect that. The way she is treating you is so wrong. For her to have a Plan B shows that she doesn't think your relationship will work out.
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