VSgirl Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I am relatively inexperienced in online dating, but went on a first date for coffee with a guy a few days ago. This guy messaged me on the site a little over a week ago. He seemed nice and was new in town. I didn't put much stock into it at first, because my limited experience with online dating hasn't amounted to much, but the guy seemed very interested in me. We talked on the site for a couple days before him asking for my number and us just texting. After that he initiated texting between us every day. Our conversations on the phone were very natural. We talked about almost anything from shared interests to old cartoon shows to giving each other a hard time about stuff in a fun flirty teasing way. He was very respectful but also seemed to think I looked attractive in my pics. He stated I was "good looking and funny" and why would I have any trouble finding a guy. One of the first things he told me was he was looking for a serious relationship. We shared some stuff about our romantic histories, but nothing that seemed to be a big red flag on either side. Anyway, he seemed excited about meeting me and kept asking me to meet up with him. I was nervous because I'm shy about this stuff, but agreed to meet him last weekend. I got a new outfit, got my hair/nails done etc to look nice from the date. He even asked me to send a pic of when i finished at the salon and said i looked great when i sent it. We also talked about continuing our upcoming coffee date with drinks or lunch etc that same day if it went well. So I met him for coffee and I'll admit I was nervous. He paid for my coffee and got me a water and my straw and all that. After we sat down he apologized and said he hoped he wasnt being rude but his roommate had a hard time with father's day (roommates dad died a few years ago) and he had agreed to go to lunch with him after our date. I was a little thrown off, but he said he didn't have to leave for 2 1/2 hours and the date seemed to go well. We had good conversation and both of us apologized for rambling a bit. I think we were both nervous and he seemed concerned about what I thought of him. We both laughed and smiled during the convo He also asked me a lot of questions about myself and we both showed eachother pics of things in our lives from our phones. We also both made little references to doing things together in the future like watching shows. After awhile he noticed it was past the time he was supposed to meet his friend at the restaurant (so he stayed late), so we walked out together. He commented on how it had been a long time since he'd spent 2 and half hours talking to someone like this. He walked me to my car and lingered there. I was into him but nervous still and he gave me a big hug and said he was "so glad to finally meet me". After that he said we should get together again this week and that he was off this whole week before starting his new job. He also said he'd talk to me later that day. So all in all I thought it went well. That night (Sunday) I didn't hear anything from him. I really didn't worry, just figured he got caught up with his roommate or something. Monday morning rolled around and I decided to send him a "hey hows your day going" text around 1pm. Sent it and heard nothing. After this i was quite disappointed and talked to my best friend about the date. She said it was possible with my nerves I may not have shown the guy much interest so she suggested I send him another text monday evening that said something like "hope all is well with you. Had a nice time getting to know you better. Looking forward to getting together later this week. Let me know your thoughts. " He wrote back an hour later saying "hey. sorry I was really sick today. I had a nice time too! how was your day?" We exchanged a few more texts but then I heard nothing more that night. So tuesday (yesterday) I heard nothing again. I sent him a text that said "Hey hope youre feeling better. If you still want to get together I'm free thurs and fri. Let me know" And I've heard nothing since! I'm really confused and frustrated after all this, especially since he made such a big deal about us getting together THIS week...talk to you TODAY...so GLAD I finally met you etc. I would love any feedback!! This situation has really upset me. Do you ever think I will hear from him again? Is this some kind of game?
Assasda Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Seems like he really wasnt into you when he first saw you. He was feeding you lies from the get-go. Move on
Author VSgirl Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 Thanks for responding. As to why he wasn't into me when he first saw me, do you feel that my appearance (not being in good enough physical shape) is causing my troubles with guys?
Snakechammah Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I like your username VSgirl (Victoria Secret's girl?) If the guy is interested, he will do whatever it takes to keep the communication rolling. Someone once said in the forum that if the guy really wants the girl, he'll make sure she won't stay in the market for too long. If he does not follow-up or show the slightest interest in maintaining communication, it's time to cut him loose. There are plenty of fishes in the sea. Save your heart for a more deserving man. You will find him! Just not this one. 1
Assasda Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Thanks for responding. As to why he wasn't into me when he first saw me, do you feel that my appearance (not being in good enough physical shape) is causing my troubles with guys? As far as what you describe here. I think he wasnt physically pleased with you. but who knows... I certainly wouldnt call anymore, you already put the ball in his court
katinlc Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Thanks for responding. As to why he wasn't into me when he first saw me, do you feel that my appearance (not being in good enough physical shape) is causing my troubles with guys? Do your profile pictures accurately reflect what you currently look like? Do you have full body shots, as well as, close up clear ones of you? If not, then yes this could be part of the trouble. If that's not the case, then you simply may have not met the right person. As far as him saying he wants to meet you again, etc... I've noticed a lot of things are said in the heat of the moment. Then afterwards when people have time to actually think and reflect about the date, they decide that they really weren't a match. It's been done to me and I've done it to others. Never get invested early on. As far as this guy goes, I wouldn't text him anymore - if there's any interest he'll get in touch with you.
J21 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I think he had a good time... but had a change of heart. His room mate's father day thing might have been a exit strategy in case there was no chemistry or if he felt the date wasn't going well... or could have been a plan to make him briefly available while leaving you yearning for more. I think since u reached out to him twice, dont reach out to him anymore. You will just appear more desperate. The ball is in his court, so just wait and see. Another explanation could be is that maybe he is muti dating.
Mrin Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I would say he's multi dating or you in person didn't fit with the image of you in his head. Are the pics in your profile accurate?
Zahara Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Getting along fabulously over text/phone/email is completely different from chemistry you may feel when you meet in person. I've met guys where things have clicked so well over technology but when meeting in person, it was missing that connection. I don't think it has anything to do with your physical appearance. And while he spent 2.5 hours with you, it could be that while he enjoyed your company, to him something was probably missing from the intensity he felt pre-meeting you.
Sunfire73 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 He may not be into you as much as you. That's why in OLD, don't get too excited and expect too much after the first date. Just have fun. Let him make plans for next dates. What you did is ok in letting him know that you're interested in him. So the ball is in his court. If he doesn't follow through, then that's your answer.
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