anissawolf Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 So, I've been in love with my best friend for 12 years. We both just got out of 6 year relationships. Anytime he's single I'm the first person he calls and we are pretty much inseparable. He has been staying with me, and I'm wondering if he might finally be interested in more. He's been talking about getting jobs together and sharing an apartment. He takes me out to eat and wants to cook for me. We spend every waking minute together. We are intimate. Just the other night we fell asleep holding each other. Unfortunately, my ex still lives with me... He's pushing me to make my ex leave. He even offered to take care of it for me. He's going to sell his car so that we can use the money to fix mine and pay some bills... I don't know. I want to see this heading somewhere but I don't want to lie to myself either. Opinions? Advice? 1
Timmy1992 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Aww thats so cute! Pretty much same situation as me except she left me. 15 years I was in love with her for. :'( He loves you I can tell reminds me of what I used to do for her. If you have feelings try to find the most opportune time to tell him because love like you two share is so special and rare I mean the best marriges are when they start as best friends. Just sit and talk with him but be aware of the reprocussions too. But it dosent hurt to talk to him about it. I used to all the time with my ex best friend. I used to cuddle her and right love notes to her and buy her little stuffed animals. 1
todreaminblue Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 if you love him,and he loves you, its time for the ex to go or you to leave to be with him.......let him help you...thats what relationships are and you help him too.....help him see you are serious about being with him your ex if he truly cares will be happy for you to be happy........ talk to your guy you have now in your life, open and honestly work through things that pop up together all the good all the bad share it all..........it will strengthen bonds already there.....deb
preraph Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 You need to clarify by having a conversation with him. You said you "fell asleep." That's still pretty friendzone. If he's able to sleep in your bed, seems to be he'd be able to initiate sex if that's what he wanted. I think you need to just ask him if he wants to start being your boyfriend or is just thinking of a roommate situation. You would be silly not to ask him that since you have been such close friends. Seems like he'd have already talked to you about it. That way you find out if he's actually hung up or interested in some woman you may not even know about too! But yes, you need to kick the ex out either way, I think, but only if you want your life to move forward...
Author anissawolf Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Well the friend zone is what i'm afraid of. But being willing to get into a physical fight to get my ex to leave, for me... that's not something a friend does, is it? I mean, he doesn't just go around getting into fights. Also, we are intimate, tho the cuddling and falling asleep together was not post-coital...
ThorntonMelon Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 You're trying to read minds. If he's your best friend, you have a conversation. Personally, I wouldn't ask him directly his feelings or express yours directly, just maybe draw him out about the non-platonic things you're doing. And boot the ex.
Tayla Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 its a breath of fresh air to know you've had a friend for this amount of time. You two must have some wonderful memories. Best way to ruin the value and bond created from that, is to start on the road to intimate relations. Be a lady and move on your own. The EX deserves to be shown the door so he can move on (unless this is his place?). The Friend you have is in a senstive state, do not take advantage of that. It goes against the friendship rule 101. The fact that you would allow him to sell his stuff to help you speaks volumes. I would recommend you stay clear of such an offer, it benefits you entirely and leaves him with very little should things not work out. A true friend would take the higher road, be independent and graciously regard the boundaries established by such a long term friendship. You both have past relations and that tells you easily that you are capable of separating your friendship from your formal dating relations. Keep it that way, friends are hard to replace.
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