CopingInNJ Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Hi everyone, my exFiance recently got married to his girlfriend of about a year and half. We broke up shortly before he met her. I've been doing fine and moved on too but their engagement and subsequent marriage a few months later made me realize I'm still not 100% over him yet - even though I thought I was. I came across their wedding pictures on Facebook because a few of our mutual friends went to the wedding. In a way I'm happy for him but still makes me feel like that could've been me. Does anyone else have a similar experience?
Timmy1992 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Thats a tough one dear. I have one ex on fb...literally one ex and have seen her marital pictures but it dosent bother me. I guess because the real love of my life isnt her. I guess it just means you still love him and in a sense moved on to replace him. Thats why proper greif is always an important role before moveing on. Now I am sure they guy your with now is very lucky to have you. Dont beat yourself up for feeling this way but dont let it damage your current relationship. Ex's are Ex's for a reason. 1
learning_slowly Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 However you are dragging yourself theough this pain. I blocked my ex on Facebook as when mutual friends did something with her, I would get notified. You need to do that too and avoid contact even when the urge is really strong. That option is out of your life now. Let it disappear. Only then can you really move on.
jenkruger Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I can relate to the FB part - my ex is getting married also next month and I'm not looking forward to seeing pictures on mutual friends' pages. I blocked him once but could still see pictures our friends posted of them hanging out. Maybe just get off FB for a while?
d0nnivain Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Since you were engaged to him, you had reasonable expectations that you would be married by now. The fact that he is married & you are single is probably making you long for the wedding, marriage & the fairy tale more than for the guy. About 15-18 years ago (I honestly don't remember now) I found out one of my EXs was married & expecting a baby. When I bumped into him & saw the wedding ring I was shocked enough. When we had been together there were times I'd stare at his hands & envision what they would look like with my ring on them so it was jarring to say the least. I did not want this guy back by the time I found out about his wedding & baby but I was disheartened that he had that with somebody else who wasn't me. Take stock of your own life. Make a list of the good things & think about all the reasons why you & him didn't get married. Whatever feelings you are experiencing will pass. 3
Died2000Deaths Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Sorry to hear that for you.... If my ex ever gets married to someone other than me, I will be BEYOND devastated. More-so than I am now. I'm already dead, but after that, I would never even be able to pretend again. Ugh.....I hate the thought of him with anyone.....it CRUSHES me beyond anything I have ever felt before. It hurts sooooo much. I think me understands now about the NC. I tortured myself trying to contact him, always ending in the same. Me alone. . Ya think I would just freaking face the freaking facts, I know. . It's just that, he plays my heart sooooo good. I think he truly enjoys hurting me. People who say they truly love someone, do not annihilate them with the meanest, nastiness, evilest untrue words against them. Sad, very sad and hurtful. . I have to start this NC thing, and it's going to be the toughest thing ever, but I can't EVER know he's married to someone else. I do not have Facebook, nor does he.....I'll just have to also keep myself from checking up on his kids....ugh, so much to give up.....I am NEVER doing this love thing again. Meh....I won't make it to see love again anyway. There is never truly another..... Sorry....too many thoughts and emotions. Good luck to you. That blows! I hope you fall in love again, and get beyond the pain. That will be awesome for you.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Sorry to thread jack OP but . . . died2000deaths -- honey OMG the pain you are in just jumps off my screen. Nobody . . . no one person, no one relationship is worth kililng yourself over. Please, please tell me you have people around you who are keeping you safe. You will heal from this. You have to hang on.
Died2000Deaths Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Sorry to thread jack OP but . . . died2000deaths -- honey OMG the pain you are in just jumps off my screen. Nobody . . . no one person, no one relationship is worth kililng yourself over. Please, please tell me you have people around you who are keeping you safe. You will heal from this. You have to hang on. I appreciate your words greatly. The only ones keeping me safe, our my children. If it weren't for them, I have to say, unfortunately, I wouldn't be here right now typing.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I appreciate your words greatly. The only ones keeping me safe, our my children. If it weren't for them, I have to say, unfortunately, I wouldn't be here right now typing. Please talk to somebody for your kids. My EX killed himself (not over me). Although his son is grown now, that kid will never be right & the devastation he felt over his father's death. . . Nobody deserves that. The best revenge you can get over the person who hurt you is to live life well. You can do that; you just don't know it right now. Please please, hang in there. 3
Icydescent Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) My ex married the girl he cheated on me with & left me for. It's been about 5 years since it all happened. After a long period of healing, I didn't give him much thought in the past 3 years. Lately however, I've been thinking of him a lot - I check out his FB once in a great while & just wonder. You seem to be doing pretty well, especially for this being such a recent occurrence. Give yourself a lot of time, focus on you. You will eventually move on completely - it doesn't necessarily mean you'll never think of him again, but no matter what, you're going to be okay. Hugs. <3 Edited June 20, 2014 by Icydescent
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Hi everyone, my exFiance recently got married to his girlfriend of about a year and half. That has to be rough. My ex is completely incapable of sustaining a relationship, so I doubt I'll ever go through what you're going through. Then again, hearing about her picking up a string of strangers for ONSs hasn't been easy, either... I guess the good news is, now you'll no longer wonder if there is a chance at reconciliation -- if you ever did. Sorry you're going through this.
Author CopingInNJ Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 thanks for the advise everyone. I've blocked him on facebook and decided to take a break for a while from social media altogether! It really doesn't help that she's a successful lawyer. His parents didn't like me because I didn't go to college and don't have a super high paying job. however, i'm very happy with where I am. I do feel a little resentment for how successful she seems to be and she's living the life i imagined for myself but i guess everything happens for a reason. 2
me85 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 thanks for the advise everyone. I've blocked him on facebook and decided to take a break for a while from social media altogether! It really doesn't help that she's a successful lawyer. His parents didn't like me because I didn't go to college and don't have a super high paying job. however, i'm very happy with where I am. I do feel a little resentment for how successful she seems to be and she's living the life i imagined for myself but i guess everything happens for a reason. I'm giving you a big ole imaginary hug right now. I didn't go to college either. Good for them! You marrying your ex just wasn't God's plan for you. Your destiny lies elsewhere.
Author CopingInNJ Posted June 30, 2014 Author Posted June 30, 2014 Thanks me85! Not being on Fb for a bit helped! Also being with friends have reminded me that I'm surrounded by people I love, not a guy who made me feel terrible about myself! 1
jenkruger Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Good for you! Just keep remembering that and know that everything really DOES happen for a reason!
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