MightyHeracross Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Alright, I'm a 20 yr old male in college, and I have yet to lose my virginity, or even have my first kiss. I'm a complete introvert (link to that post is at the bottom), but I think part of my problem is that I've been waiting for "miss perfect." For whatever reason, my perfect girl is one of those high strung but low maintenance, JAPpy (Jewish American Princess) but non obnoxious, Jewish sorority college girls. Don't ask me why this is what I'm looking for, but it is. I know a lot of people find these JAPs extremely unattractive, and I can totally see why, but there's something about them that I just love. As a Jew, I know it is important to me that I raise my kids (if it gets that far) Jewish. Aside from using a dating site like JDate, how do you guys recommend I meet "Miss Perfect?" Any tips on anything similar to this situation? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481955-tips-introvert#post5759740
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 The world is full of perpetually single people looking to meet mr/miss perfect. If those are your requirements, don't be surprised if you join their ranks. Good luck in you search. What is that supposed to mean? Lower my standards? Those aren't my standards, but it seems that I look at every girl I meet as a potential GF/wife, and not just as a hookup. These are the girls that I would want as a potential GF/wife.
kart180 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 After reading posts from various people here on LS forums I just decided for now I will just stay single bachelor for the time being. I want to find that women who never tried tobacco and sober but of course that will not happen anytime soon
Cr8tivePassion Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Newsflash... perfect girl does not exist. BTW Jewish girls are not unattractive by any means.. Anyways, my advice to you is to experiment with all sorts while you are in college. Once you graduate then you can find your Jewish princess.. just make sure you have the bankroll to keep her royalty content!
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 It means just like it sounds. What you are asking for is VERY specific. When you are only willing to be with one very specific type of girl, and excluding all others, it makes it difficult to ever find anyone. My perfect girl would look like Anne Hathaway, cook like Giada DeLaurentis, and have sex like Jenna Jameson. If I stayed single until I found that, I'd still be single. Just because you come up with some checklist for your favorite type of girl doesn't mean you can ever find a girl like that, or that any of them will like you. There are things in life far more important than a checklist on the type of girl we want to date. That's true. But, to be fair, yours is a bit specific... Everyone's got a celeb crush... My "checklist" is more of a stereotype for girls, I guess.
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 Newsflash... perfect girl does not exist. BTW Jewish girls are not unattractive by any means.. Anyways, my advice to you is to experiment with all sorts while you are in college. Once you graduate then you can find your Jewish princess.. just make sure you have the bankroll to keep her royalty content! First, I know a lot of people hate JAPs, which is why I mentioned that some may not find them attractive. I've got a lot of trouble experimenting with different girls in college, mainly cuz I'm just an insane introvert. I have trouble meeting new people, guys and girls, and that obviously holds me back
jay1983 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Alright, I'm a 20 yr old male in college, and I have yet to lose my virginity, or even have my first kiss. I'm a complete introvert (link to that post is at the bottom), but I think part of my problem is that I've been waiting for "miss perfect." For whatever reason, my perfect girl is one of those high strung but low maintenance, JAPpy (Jewish American Princess) but non obnoxious, Jewish sorority college girls. Don't ask me why this is what I'm looking for, but it is. I know a lot of people find these JAPs extremely unattractive, and I can totally see why, but there's something about them that I just love. As a Jew, I know it is important to me that I raise my kids (if it gets that far) Jewish. Aside from using a dating site like JDate, how do you guys recommend I meet "Miss Perfect?" Any tips on anything similar to this situation? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/481955-tips-introvert#post5759740 Good luck with this one dude.
LovemySons Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 There's no such things as a "perfect" person. Many people spend years looking for that perfect mate. Perhaps there are singles groups through churches in your area you could join. Good luck!
Targetlock Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 there is no such thing as the perfect woman, just the right one for you lessen your expectations you might never know who you might find.
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Guys, I know there will ever be a perfect girl... But she doesn't have to be... She just has to be perfect for me... I'm just lost on finding one of those wild, sorority sister, Jewish girl when I'm insanely shy. I'm fully intent on being with someone like this when I'm older, so why not start looking now?
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 there is no such thing as the perfect woman, just the right one for you lessen your expectations you might never know who you might find. I know there's no perfect anything in life... Let alone a perfect girl. But I can't just lower my standards because of that. There is a perfect girl for me,Cnut I'm just not sure how to find her...
El Brujo Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Lovebots are coming. We have the technology... as soon as manufacturers get over their silly fear of playing God, the perfect woman will be available from an online catalog.
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 22, 2014 Author Posted June 22, 2014 It's not a matter of lowering your standards. If anything, you could raise them, and prioritize more important things. Like what? Now you've got me intrigued lol. What do you mean?
Yamaha Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 If you've never kissed or dated how do you know that type is the perfect girl for you? You might meet such a girl and find her horrible. At 20 you only know what attracts you, looks wise. You date to get to know someone. If they pass the attraction test then it's on to finding out who they are. I understand the Jewish thing but never just decide I need one type. Date around and see what you like. The world is full of possibilities. 2
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 If you've never kissed or dated how do you know that type is the perfect girl for you? You might meet such a girl and find her horrible. At 20 you only know what attracts you, looks wise. You date to get to know someone. If they pass the attraction test then it's on to finding out who they are. I understand the Jewish thing but never just decide I need one type. Date around and see what you like. The world is full of possibilities. I know I need so expand my horizons, but Jewish girls are basically all I've ever been exposed to. In high school, it was about 35 percent Jewish... Wich is HUGE for a public school. All of the girls in my friend group were either Jewish, or they at least acted JAPpy. These are the kinds of girls I am familiar with. I've never gotten with any of them, nor have I really spoken to them (all rooting back to being a total introvert), but I know they tend to share similar feelings and beliefs as I do. At least for right now, I would like to date in my own comfort zone, but I'm just not sure how. The college I'm at has a very small Jewish population, and a small Greek life. I could join Hillel (it's basically a Jewish organization on college campuses), but, no offense to anyone reading this, the kids in Hillel tend to be the weird Jewish kids. I don't know how to explain it other than being straight out like that. I don't want to do JDate or other dating sites. I don't want to try to reconnect with any of the girls from high school because I'd like to meet new people. As for dating in the future, I'm sure ill be fine dating other types of girls, but in my heart, I know I want to marry a Jewish girl. I also know its very important to my parents that I marry a Jewish girl. There's also the social stigma of marrying someone outside of ones culture that I don't really want to deal with. There's a lot pulling me towards these "JAPs" but I just don't know how to accomplish it.
Author MightyHeracross Posted July 1, 2014 Author Posted July 1, 2014 Your dating requirements are for a girl with a certain ethnic background and personality, but nowhere did you mention anything I feel is important, like loyalty, honesty, and integrity. Trust me, you start dating girls who lack those things, and your priorities will change. That's true. It's important to me that this girl be Jewish. That's a biggie. I'd love it if she had this personality. But I kinda felt that loyalty, honesty, and integrity were givens. Obviously this girl needs to be loyal and honest, or I won't even think about it. That's one of my biggest things... If she has no respect for herself or other people, she's not getting near me. Once I find these Jewish girls with certain personalities, I'll find out if they're respectful or not.
Targetlock Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 perfect girl? no such thing but the right girl for you? definitely
Author MightyHeracross Posted July 2, 2014 Author Posted July 2, 2014 perfect girl? no such thing but the right girl for you? definitely Exactly!!! Maybe the perfect girl was a bad way to phrase it. How would you go about finding the right girl then?
hasaquestion Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I know I need so expand my horizons, but Jewish girls are basically all I've ever been exposed to. In high school, it was about 35 percent Jewish... Wich is HUGE for a public school. All of the girls in my friend group were either Jewish, or they at least acted JAPpy. These are the kinds of girls I am familiar with. I've never gotten with any of them, nor have I really spoken to them (all rooting back to being a total introvert), but I know they tend to share similar feelings and beliefs as I do. At least for right now, I would like to date in my own comfort zone, but I'm just not sure how. The college I'm at has a very small Jewish population, and a small Greek life. I could join Hillel (it's basically a Jewish organization on college campuses), but, no offense to anyone reading this, the kids in Hillel tend to be the weird Jewish kids. I don't know how to explain it other than being straight out like that. I don't want to do JDate or other dating sites. I don't want to try to reconnect with any of the girls from high school because I'd like to meet new people. As for dating in the future, I'm sure ill be fine dating other types of girls, but in my heart, I know I want to marry a Jewish girl. I also know its very important to my parents that I marry a Jewish girl. There's also the social stigma of marrying someone outside of ones culture that I don't really want to deal with. There's a lot pulling me towards these "JAPs" but I just don't know how to accomplish it. Join AEPi? I'm a member of AEPi and I'm not even Jewish.
preraph Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I don't know how you'd know what perfect for you is since you're an introvert who is still a virgin. You have no idea. Unfortunately, despite efforts by our gracious online applications, life isn't a catalog where you decide what you want and order one delivered to your local coffee shop. You have to start having actual relationships with people and be social, which will make you grow and change, and until you at least do that, anyone you'd pick right now wouldn't be the right person for you five years from now. Time to work on yourself and see what you really become before you decide what you want. And in the process, you should meet some people you find interesting. 1
Author MightyHeracross Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 Join AEPi? I'm a member of AEPi and I'm not even Jewish. Lol, I know I can just join AEPi. I've got some good friends in there. I've even considered joining myself. However, just joining a frat doesn't get me a girlfriend. There's more to getting a GF than being a frat boy. I've never believed in "buying" friends, and to me, that's what a frat is.
Author MightyHeracross Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 I don't know how you'd know what perfect for you is since you're an introvert who is still a virgin. You have no idea. Unfortunately, despite efforts by our gracious online applications, life isn't a catalog where you decide what you want and order one delivered to your local coffee shop. You have to start having actual relationships with people and be social, which will make you grow and change, and until you at least do that, anyone you'd pick right now wouldn't be the right person for you five years from now. Time to work on yourself and see what you really become before you decide what you want. And in the process, you should meet some people you find interesting. That really makes a lot of sense. Thank you. How would you go about getting myself out there? What should I be doing to put myself out there to meet people?
preraph Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Well, whatever your main outside interests are, make sure you get out and do those every week so you meet like-minded people you automatically have something in common with. Could be sports, music gigs, jogging, joining a book club, doing volunteer work one hour a week at the animal shelter, frequenting the zoo, taking horseback riding lessons or tennis lessons or taking up golf (expensive I know), going on home tours or historical tours, joining a paranormal group or church group. Whatever you like to do best or always thought you wanted to do, now's the time. Since you're Jewish, at least in many areas there are active Jewish communities with activities. You could take one night class, something easy you can keep your day job with, something you want to do and learn an instrument or kayaking or rowing or cooking. It's just important that you do what you truly like because you find other people who at least you have one thing in common with that way, plus you greatly expand your universe. For every new friend you make of any type, if you're a good friend to them, they will introduce you to more people and the more people you meet, the more likely you meet girls you want to date. Don't worry about the inexperience. We all have to start from having none! Don't be insecure about it and no one will ever even know. I found out 30 years later I was a guy's first. Had no idea. He probably tried to tell me in a roundabout way and I probably shut him up with a kiss. It's no big deal.
spiderowl Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 When you meet people at first, all you have to go on is appearance and pre-judgements. It's easy to have a lot of pre-judgements you are not even conscious of. It sounds like you've got quite a few you are conscious of, but maybe that consciousness is also ruling out people from the start. If you start talking to someone, it tends to be superficial, but after a while, people can be more revealing and suddenly you realise there is a connection at a deeper level. It's getting past that superficial/pre-judgement that makes all the difference. So what are your prejudices? Are you against blondes for some reason? Short girls, girls with glasses, whatever. Think about your reasons for not getting to know some of the people you are meeting and reaching that point of connection. Sometimes it will never happen, but other times it is there, just that neither of you realise you share it until you talk and start to open up a bit.
Author MightyHeracross Posted July 6, 2014 Author Posted July 6, 2014 Well, whatever your main outside interests are, make sure you get out and do those every week so you meet like-minded people you automatically have something in common with. Could be sports, music gigs, jogging, joining a book club, doing volunteer work one hour a week at the animal shelter, frequenting the zoo, taking horseback riding lessons or tennis lessons or taking up golf (expensive I know), going on home tours or historical tours, joining a paranormal group or church group. Whatever you like to do best or always thought you wanted to do, now's the time. Since you're Jewish, at least in many areas there are active Jewish communities with activities. You could take one night class, something easy you can keep your day job with, something you want to do and learn an instrument or kayaking or rowing or cooking. It's just important that you do what you truly like because you find other people who at least you have one thing in common with that way, plus you greatly expand your universe. For every new friend you make of any type, if you're a good friend to them, they will introduce you to more people and the more people you meet, the more likely you meet girls you want to date. Don't worry about the inexperience. We all have to start from having none! Don't be insecure about it and no one will ever even know. I found out 30 years later I was a guy's first. Had no idea. He probably tried to tell me in a roundabout way and I probably shut him up with a kiss. It's no big deal. Well when were you his first? At 20, a girl is bound to know I haven't hooked up with anyone yet... That means no first kiss btw. And I agree with everything you said. I like the idea of just going out and doing **** to meet someone. But, how do I approach them at these events? That's my main issue-- I guess I know how to approach them and have a SMALL conversation, but it's getting to see them again, getting them to hook up with me, getting their number, and so on that I have trouble with
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