MightyHeracross Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I'm a 20 yr old male in college. I still have my virginity, and haven't even kissed a girl yet. I find it tough to meet new people (guys and girls), and I'm an incredibly shy person. However, I've discovered that I'm so much more than just shy, I'm an introvert. I did some reading on the subject, and everything is so true. The link at the bottom has signs that you are an introvert, and basically all of them apply to me. I didn't read through the article carefully, I basically just skimmed it for the signs. I feel like this is making it so damn difficult for me to meet a girl, and I'm just lost on what I should try to do about it. Please remember, everything you guys tell me to do is much easier said than done, so don't just say "step out of your comfort zone a bit." It doesn't work like that for me. 23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert Thanks guys!
Targetlock Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 As a fellow introvert (i have all those of signs from that article) and by the way it isn't a a bad thing at all, just awkward trying to express ourselves and getting ourselves across especially in the very socially focussed world of dating where that becomes a problem. 1
sham19 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 As a fellow introvert (i have all those of signs from that article) and by the way it isn't a a bad thing at all, just awkward trying to express ourselves and getting ourselves across especially in the very socially focussed world of dating where that becomes a problem. I agree. I have most of the 23 signs from that article and I know I'm an introvert but somehow the older I've gotten, I've 'learnt' how to disguise most of them with a false sense of confidence and bravado. OP, I hope you find some way to overcome it and find success when dating :-)
Strength in Healing Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Tips for an introvert? You have to just push yourself out of your comfort zone again and again. Fake it until you've made it. Go to youtube look up simple pickup lol
todreaminblue Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) i am an introvert on many levels part of that introvert is empath.. i am a multiple personality ......which allows me to step up when i need to no matter how introverted i feel and want to run...i stand up....i havent got the balance right or really control it completely because of the defensive protective mode i can go into when threatened or insecure or sense a certain amount fo deceit...i sense it because i am hiding myself..... i truly do feel introverts who can push themselves out into extrovert .....need more down time......than just an introvert....it is tiring to go against what you heart wants to do...extremely tiring...possibly ........, actually definitely self defeating in design....i feel as a multiple....the best solution for an introvert is to allow themselves to be who they are , yeah difficulty will arise in dating......but more difficulties arise when it takes longer for you to get out there again and you have to spend more time alone to recover...... you cant fight what you are so acceptance is a must....you can fight others and their perceptions of you...if you try and fight yourself....its a losing battle...the heart will always win..... so i suggest not fighting who you are or pushing yourself out of your comfort zone......because that has you at a disadvantage as you are not true to who you are...and shouldnt be taken as such and then have disappointment be what others have in their feelings for you,when they find out you arent a party animal.... teh trueness in the fact that you would just rather curl up with a book and talk about your day, dreams and hopes in muted tones with a special person rather than dance on the ceiling like you are on lsd(but arent actually on lsd, people just assume so)....i do both at the same time...my introvert finds solace in dance.........i dont suggest it though....lol...smilin...be you, be a proud introvert, and the right person for you will be the one you end up with.....deb Edited June 19, 2014 by todreaminblue 2
Tiger Lily Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I'm a 20 yr old male in college. I still have my virginity, and haven't even kissed a girl yet. I find it tough to meet new people (guys and girls), and I'm an incredibly shy person. However, I've discovered that I'm so much more than just shy, I'm an introvert. I did some reading on the subject, and everything is so true. The link at the bottom has signs that you are an introvert, and basically all of them apply to me. I didn't read through the article carefully, I basically just skimmed it for the signs. I feel like this is making it so damn difficult for me to meet a girl, and I'm just lost on what I should try to do about it. Please remember, everything you guys tell me to do is much easier said than done, so don't just say "step out of your comfort zone a bit." It doesn't work like that for me. 23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert Thanks guys! I do think that "faking it till you make it" will help you get out of your comfort zone a little. But don't fake it too much. Don't do anything that makes you super uncomfortable. Because really, you have to be yourself in in the end, and learn to accept the good parts of your personality. I will say though (as a fellow introvert), that it helps to get out of our heads a little and put the focus on the other person. I find that I care about other people a lot, but don't always express it by asking them a lot of questions about themselves (like when first meeting). So, if you're so inclined, you could practice really making a point to get to know more about the other person. Anyway, I've found doing that to really help other people realize that I'm interested in them as people (like, duh...although my introvert mind was thinking how great he or she was, I didn't really communicate it too much...out loud, lol). Of course that has helped me build relationships in better ways. Not sure if that is useful to you. 2
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 I agree. I have most of the 23 signs from that article and I know I'm an introvert but somehow the older I've gotten, I've 'learnt' how to disguise most of them with a false sense of confidence and bravado. OP, I hope you find some way to overcome it and find success when dating :-) Well how do you disguise it? Like what to you do? I can walk around looking like I own the place with all my fake confidence, but it doesn't mean jack **** until something happens.
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 I do think that "faking it till you make it" will help you get out of your comfort zone a little. But don't fake it too much. Don't do anything that makes you super uncomfortable. Because really, you have to be yourself in in the end, and learn to accept the good parts of your personality. I will say though (as a fellow introvert), that it helps to get out of our heads a little and put the focus on the other person. I find that I care about other people a lot, but don't always express it by asking them a lot of questions about themselves (like when first meeting). So, if you're so inclined, you could practice really making a point to get to know more about the other person. Anyway, I've found doing that to really help other people realize that I'm interested in them as people (like, duh...although my introvert mind was thinking how great he or she was, I didn't really communicate it too much...out loud, lol). Of course that has helped me build relationships in better ways. Not sure if that is useful to you. Yeah. That's really useful to me. I tend to find myself thinking more than talking, too. I just have to switch that up. I'm the exact opposite when I get comfortable around someone (guy or girl). I become a loud, fun loving person. I need to be that way around strangers too, but it just doesn't feel like me, and, as you stated, I've gotta do what's right for me.
Keenly Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I've got a tip, from introvert to introvert. Become okay with who you are as a person, and become okay with the idea of being alone forever. Once you can come to terms with this, it's seriously not a big deal, and when its not a big deal, you will be amazed at the ease of which it happens. When we make it a big deal, it has the opposite of the desired effect. Life is just weird like that. 2
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 I've got a tip, from introvert to introvert. Become okay with who you are as a person, and become okay with the idea of being alone forever. Once you can come to terms with this, it's seriously not a big deal, and when its not a big deal, you will be amazed at the ease of which it happens. When we make it a big deal, it has the opposite of the desired effect. Life is just weird like that. That's true. Just kinda take my mind off it and eventually something will happen? Basically like "a watched pot never boils." The problem with that is I am okay with who I am as a person, but who I am is not going to be someone who is alone for the rest of his life. I have dreams of being a successful doctor and being able to provide for a family. I can't just forget about those life dreams, and just decide to live alone. Also, I'm a college male... Do you really think its possible to just forget about getting with girls? Lol 1
Targetlock Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I've got a tip, from introvert to introvert. Become okay with who you are as a person, and become okay with the idea of being alone forever. Once you can come to terms with this, it's seriously not a big deal, and when its not a big deal, you will be amazed at the ease of which it happens. When we make it a big deal, it has the opposite of the desired effect. Life is just weird like that. I will never be able to accept the idea of being alone forever, i am not wired that way and i fight it every day i am just a hopeless romantic who is constantly fighting a battle between his gloomy side and his romantic optimistic side. 1
Author MightyHeracross Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I will never be able to accept the idea of being alone forever, i am not wired that way and i fight it every day i am just a hopeless romantic who is constantly fighting a battle between his gloomy side and his romantic optimistic side. I couldn't agree more with what you said. You can't just put something like this behind you... Well maybe some people can, but I, and obviously you, cannot do that. 1
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