Is it a deal breaker for men to be in my 30s and going back to school?

[WrinkledForehead]

I'm almost 30 and working through my undergrad.

 

Any man that would view me going to school to better myself and further my career as a deal breaker wouldn't be worth my time. I have goals, baby, dreams! No man could stand in the way of that. ^_^

[WrinkledForehead]

I was seeing a girl who was a full time student. The relationship never progressed much because every week night she had to study, sometimes play catch up on the weekend. I was always by myself, texting her talking on the phone. It just wasn't working for me. I don't think having kids while in college is a good idea. You'll have to walk the large campus while 6 months pregnant, not mention you could to go into labor right before finals.

 

People make it work (hi! I do!). I have two young kids, take 17 credit course loads, and work two jobs. I do study every night (that I have off of work) and every weekend. My lover stays up late on weekends (I get out around 1am) when I work, and we'll hang out for a few hours, and then have a coffee in the morning before I leave. I'll see him for about 45-60 mins after I'm done with homework. He's as busy as I am, though, so we're very understanding of each other's schedules. It takes patience and communication but we make it happen and life is good.

[pink_sugar]

People make it work (hi! I do!). I have two young kids, take 17 credit course loads, and work two jobs. I do study every night (that I have off of work) and every weekend. My lover stays up late on weekends (I get out around 1am) when I work, and we'll hang out for a few hours, and then have a coffee in the morning before I leave. I'll see him for about 45-60 mins after I'm done with homework. He's as busy as I am, though, so we're very understanding of each other's schedules. It takes patience and communication but we make it happen and life is good.

 

I am assuming you have someone to watch your kids around the clock while you're working and going to school?

[littleplanet]

I work in higher ed and research the crap out of the consequences

(that lovely one and a quarter trillion timebomb) and counting.........

but enough:

 

Much applause and high admiration afforded to you OP, for bothering to take care of the costs for this while in your 20's.

 

My spidey sense says the big issue here is preparing yourself for the future that you want - academically, professionally, and financially.

(And yeah, as to gender - if you were the opposite, this wouldn't even be on the table, would it?)

 

So the big issue is kids. yep.

 

And if this is a deal breaker........then who's deal gets broken, and exactly how?

A man in his thirties who is settled in life, did what he did to get there (and no-one ever questions how he did that.)

 

It could be quibbling on the age factor that you're doing what you're doing at your present age.....but again, the only fly in your ointment that I see is the kids factor.

And you know, I grew up in an era when millions of women, just like my mom did - sacrificed basically everything (academically and career-wise) for their children.

We've moved a little beyond that, I'd say.

 

If no leading man walks upon your present stage - I'd say look to the thing you have complete control of right now......and that's your future career.

With that in place, you can choose wisely enough, what fits to it.

[WrinkledForehead]

I am assuming you have someone to watch your kids around the clock while you're working and going to school?

 

I don't work and go to school around the clock. I see my children and nurture their growth. I do have a wonderful support system I've developed and my children are happy and thriving.

 

I do have to say I don't see how my specific childcare situation relates to this post. My post was a response supporting the fact that people DO have children and work and go to school, and form happy relationships.

[Mr Scorpio]

Absolutely not a deal breaker. I finished law-school at 34. It would have been ideal dating someone who had the same sort of academic experience going on -- someone who could relate to that life -- as opposed to someone with a steady 9-5.

 

That whole wanting kids thing while in school, before you have secured stable employment? While I don't doubt that some people would be okay with that, that is a pretty big gamble. Of course, life is full of gambles.

[nerdlingZA]

Why on earth would that be a deal breaker? I finished my Masters when I was 36 (or 37? time melds together the older I get LOL)!!

 

If thats a deal breaker for a man, then you need to move the hell on.

 

There's a huge difference between Masters(which you could get even when u're 50) and a four/three year degree(which you suppose to get in your. twenties) I'm sure you got yours on ur twenties and OP has no qualification at age 30 something. This will be a huge deal OP not a dealbreaker

[Frank2thepoint]

Do men in their 30s who are settled in life think dating a woman in her 30s who will be in investing her time in school for the next 4 years a deal breaker?

 

I'm a man in my 30s. No I do not think it is a deal breaker. If the woman I am with wants to pursue her education, I will be supportive of her endeavor. But, to draw a line, a woman that can't manager her time, where our relationship would suffer (such as only seeing her once or twice every two weeks) and very little communication, is a deal breaker for me.

[JDPT]

It's all situational. A man may view this as a financial burden by way of school loans and such on her end. Others may view this as it later paying off depending on the type of industry she chooses to embark on. OR they could be so in love to not care about down the line.

[Trane]

Educating yourself and going back to school is never a deal-breaker. You are making yourself a better person while giving your mind a work-out.

 

Unless you are a father-to-be and can't afford to be away significantly from your newborn child and mom, this is the only time I can see it being a deal-breaker.

 

You can even go back to school when the kids are grown up. The world is yours to take advantage of with continuing education.