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Real date or pity date? Tips?


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Posted (edited)

Hey guys,

 

This is only my second thread on this forum, my first post was about how much I wanted my ex back. That's like 3 months ago now, and I got over her by reading some stories on this forum, thanks alot! :laugh:

 

Anyway, a small introduction:

 

English is not my mother tongue, so sorry if I'm not using it properly ;)

 

I'm a 20 year old boy, and I'm studying to become a teacher. I fell in love with a friendly girl who is in some of my classes, she is 18 years old. We barely talk, because she is always around her female friends.

 

Anyway, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I couldn't get her beautiful blue eyes out of my mind, for example. So my friends told me to ask her out. And I decided to do so. Although it took me a week (had to find a moment when she wasn't with her friends), I managed to approach her when she was alone.

 

What I said was something like this:

Me: "Hey!"

She: "Oh, hi!"

* 3 seconds of silence because I was stressing like hell*

Me: " I was wondering.. would you like to go to the movies with me?

I know it's kinda random..."

She: "Yeah it's a bit random..

But of course, why not?"

* smile on my face*

She: But I got to go now, my exam is about to start.

Me: "Okay, good luck!"

She: "You too!"

---------------------------------------

I know I didn't fix an exact moment about when to go to the movies, I don't got her number either. I just have her added on Facebook.

 

All of this happened yesterday, and I decided to ask her when she wants to go tomorrow. Is this a bad idea?

 

I know I sort of screwed up, but I had a lot of stress. But what do you guys think? Did she say yes out of pity? Do you have any tips?

 

Mike

 

PS: The reason why I suspect a pity date is because she didn't seem too enthousiast when I asked her out and she never talked to me..

Edited by Michael M
Posted

Don't overthink it and suggest a time and place rather than asking her to suggest when she wants to go. She said yes to the idea of going to the movies with you, so follow up with more concrete plans.

 

And don't project your own thoughts on her. You don't know for sure and there's no reason to assume the worst.

 

Good luck.

  • Like 1
Posted

Congrats on having the guts to ask her out (first time I ever did that, I got laughed at to my face)

 

Suggest a time and place and take it from there. Don't overthink things, just keep it nice and simple.

  • Like 1
Posted

If you do follow up make sure she knows it's a date.

 

The 'bit random' comments on both sides makes me think she isn't aware you were asking her on a date.

  • Author
Posted
If you do follow up make sure she knows it's a date.

 

The 'bit random' comments on both sides makes me think she isn't aware you were asking her on a date.

 

Hmm would be kinda strange since it's pretty obvious... Well at least I thought so... :eek:

Posted

My Opinion, Would It Not Have Made Sense To get her number and have light conversation with her before asking to take her out?. like you said you barely talk so you complete strangers to each other (kind of), Also Going To The Movies Is not the ideal venue why not ask her if she wants to grab a tea or coffee so you can talk.

  • Author
Posted
My Opinion, Would It Not Have Made Sense To get her number and have light conversation with her before asking to take her out?. like you said you barely talk so you complete strangers to each other (kind of), Also Going To The Movies Is not the ideal venue why not ask her if she wants to grab a tea or coffee so you can talk.

 

Yes, that makes sense. I was afraid to end up in the friendzone, though.

Posted

Agree with darkknight on the movies. Movies make the absolute worst first dates. Do something else low key where you can talk to each other.

Posted

Good job on asking her.

Movies are fantastic, you guys can talk about something after.

 

Dont feel the need to let her know its a date- as some people have said. I respectfully disagree. This just puts unneeded pressure on the girl.

 

Just ask her her number next time, dont be shy about doing so either :bunny:

 

Good luck

Posted

i seem to feel if you really like someone it doesnt matter where the date is .....you will have a good time.....for simply spending time with semone who you interested in enough to date....i always do anyway....i make my own fun when i feel i might get bored.....and i dont get bored......deb

Posted

If a girl likes you, and wants to go out with you, you're going to know it. She was polite, and then disappeared. Keep your dignity, and leave her alone. Puppy dogging after her looking for a date will only make you feel worse when she actually has to be blunt, so you completely get it that you've been rejected.

  • Author
Posted

Some mixed answers.. I am doubting between following up or leaving her alone now..

Posted (edited)
Yes, that makes sense. I was afraid to end up in the friendzone, though.

 

You Aint Got To Worry About The Friend Zone As long As You Make Your Intentions Clear To Her When You Take Her Out Or Get Her On The Fone.

 

You've Still Got An Opportunity There But I Think You Should Have Been In And Out When You Approached Her. I.e Asked To Take Her Somewhere, GIVEN HER your number rather than ask for hers.. and GTFO there. Women Are Always on The Move.

 

Good Luck Man

Edited by DarkKnight1
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