Mr Scorpio Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 It has been brought to my attention that I have likely been drastically overlooking the role of fashion as it relates to relationships and dating. I suspect I am not the only male-member on the site doing this. So, I'm starting this thread in hopes that our female members might chime in regarding: (1) how big a role fashion plays in their attraction to the opposite-sex, (2) what kind of clothing they consider "fashionable", (3) how often one's wardrobe "should" be updated to reflect "the times", (4) how one's wardrobe should change over the seasons, and (5) picture examples of clothes they consider fashionable based on any relevant factors including body-type and skin-tone. My apologies if such a thread already exists.
Snakechammah Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Well, we all know that once a guy is taken, his entire fashion sense will be dictated by the woman in his life lol 3
Haydn Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I work in the industry and the women in my life have always stolen my clothes. Mind you i am head to toe in labels. Mr Scorpio, whats your natural fashion leaning towards? Are you a formal guy or a bit out there? Slim or skinny jeans are always good. The more snug trouser is still popular in Europe.
clia Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 (1) how big a role fashion plays in their attraction to the opposite-sex, Fashion is a huge part of how you present yourself to the world. I don't understand why so many men don't seem to realize this. What you wear tells me a lot about who you are -- compare a guy in a long sleeved collared shirt with cufflinks to a guy in a concert t-shirt to a guy in a Chicago Bears jersey. This also includes your shoes. Get good shoes. Women love shoes. Dress appropriately for where you are going, and don't dress like a bum even if you are going to the grocery store or are just out running errands -- you never know who you might meet. If you are at a nicer restaurant or bar, dress accordingly. Most women are into fashion in at least some capacity, so we definitely notice what you are wearing and we take that into account when we are deciding how to take your advances and whether or not we want to get to know you better. (I know, I know -- not all women care.) I will admit that I was more concerned with a man's fashion sense when I was in my 20s. I legitimately turned guys down if they were wearing running shoes at a bar; I didn't want that type of guy. Now that I'm older and wiser, I do give men with not-so-great fashion sense a chance; I've realized that how I acted in my 20s could've been a bit superficial. These days I'm happy with a guy in a nice pair of dark washed jeans and a long-sleeved collared shirt with a cool pair of cufflinks and black dress shoes. Very simple, interchangeable look that is very sharp. (2) what kind of clothing they consider "fashionable", This greatly depends on your style -- are you hipster, preppy, business, jock, etc. If you don't know your style, think about what types of clothing you are drawn to wearing. Look at GQ, Details, Maxim, AskMen. Wander through different men's clothing stores and see what strikes you. Frankly, for men it's very easy once you figure out your "look." When we go out in the evenings, my fiance wears dark washed jeans, a long sleeved collared shirt (not plain white or light blue -- some pattern or color), and black dress shoes. That is his go-to outfit. If it's warmer out, he may wear a golf shirt with jeans and boat shoes, or a short sleeved collared shirt, jeans and boat shoes. Occasionally he wears a t-shirt and jeans. (3) how often one's wardrobe "should" be updated to reflect "the times", It depends how trendy your wardrobe is. If it is super trendy, you may have to replace every season. If you stick to more classic pieces, you may just want to buy a couple of new things every few months or so, or in the spring and fall seasons. It's likely you will wear out items in your closet, so you may pick up some new shirts a couple of times a year, or a new pair of dress shoes once a year. My fiance typically aims to pick up a couple new long sleeved dress shirts every 4-6 months. But he does so more often when we stumble across a good deal. (Make use of the sale racks! He got five nice, long sleeved collared shirts at Macy's a few weeks ago for $38! These were shirts that were marked $50-100). I think a lot of men are either afraid of sales racks or don't think about them. That's always the first place I go! (4) how one's wardrobe should change over the seasons, Depends on where you live and the climate. In the winter, your go-to wardrobe may be jeans, sweaters, and long sleeve collared shirts; in the summer your go-to wardrobe may be shorts and golf shirts or shorts and t-shirts, etc. With regard to shoes, you may switch over to boat shoes in the summer. and (5) picture examples of clothes they consider fashionable based on any relevant factors including body-type and skin-tone. Browse the websites of: Details, AskMen, GQ, and Maxim for ideas. You can also look at store web sites for ideas. 2
Got it Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 It has been brought to my attention that I have likely been drastically overlooking the role of fashion as it relates to relationships and dating. I suspect I am not the only male-member on the site doing this. So, I'm starting this thread in hopes that our female members might chime in regarding: (1) how big a role fashion plays in their attraction to the opposite-sex, (2) what kind of clothing they consider "fashionable", (3) how often one's wardrobe "should" be updated to reflect "the times", (4) how one's wardrobe should change over the seasons, and (5) picture examples of clothes they consider fashionable based on any relevant factors including body-type and skin-tone. My apologies if such a thread already exists. For me, how a man dresses is only dictated by the factor that he is dressing in a way to positively accent his attributes. Style, etc. are not a factor or not forefront in my mind. I do like how my husband dresses and have an affinity to him in a dress shirt with the cuffs just slightly rolled. Never noticed that on a man before him and never realized how extremely hot that look is. It is this mix of relaxed professional with his broad shoulders that make my insides melt. But I find him equally attractive in shorts and a polo. It is about the essence of him that is the deciding factor and not about the fashion. 1
hasaquestion Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I find women dressing frumpy a turn-off. If I wanted to date someone in jeans and a sweatshirt I'd ask out a dude. About how one "should" dress... I think its all about how what you wear complements you, both your visual presentation and your overall presentation. For example, if you're an older looking guy, dress to look professional and put together. Conversely, if you look like a kid, long hair, etc. wearing a T-shirt will have a much better effect. Got muscles? Wear clothes that show them off. Skinny? Wear clothes with long sleeves - long sleeves "thicken" your limbs and emphasize the thinness of your waist which is what you want to show off. Glasses? If you're a rugged-looking guy, they'll "dress you up" and add a little sophistication. Conversely if you're a meek-looking person you avoid them. Its incredible to me how little thought most people put into these things. Granted I have the unfair advantage of a gay brother to ask questions to, but still. 2
Haydn Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Only time i ever wear shoes is if someone has died. All trainers and Kickers for me. Nice retro casual trainers never go out of fashion. Lacoste polo`s and that type of thing. Never tuck in a shirt unless you are forced to wear a suit. But slacky shirts and formal clothes can be mixed and matched. Trainers with a suit, no problem, had a mate who wore a very expensive suit at his wedding with a pair of Puma Europes. Looked great. Like girls who can get a way with a beautiful dress and a pair of shell tops. Or Pink Docs. But i wouldn`t say to you Mr Scorpio to radically change everything. Mix and match.
Under The Radar Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 It depends what the occasion is and who your meeting. I have no problem wearing sweats to the grocery store from time to time. If it's evening dinner ...... Well ...... a nice button down shirt, dark jeans, and leather oxfords generally fit the bill. If I'm meeting a girl for coffee in the middle of the day I'm fine in medium stonewash jeans, some blue suede Adidas trainers, and a nice V-neck shirt. I may wear a sport coat with jeans or a suit from time to time if the mood strikes me or the occasion requires it. A lot of pulling off different "looks" and outfits is confidence, proper fit, and being in shape. My 2 cents. 1
Candy_Pants Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 My H is an Asian-ish looking guy with a beard. Tall, gorgeous, thin, muscular upper body and bubble butt. He dresses like a S.H.A.R.P.. Skinny jeans/pants, suspenders, boots, glasses, shaved head. His wardrobe changes during the seasons because when it's cold, he wears jackets. I don't care what he wears most of the time. Preferably less is better . 2
Author Mr Scorpio Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Mr Scorpio, whats your natural fashion leaning towards? If you're asking what I normally wear? Worn out jeans and a t-shirt. Are you a formal guy or a bit out there? Personality wise? Out there... quite a bit out there. Slim or skinny jeans are always good. The more snug trouser is still popular in Europe. I can only speak to America, and I would guess that I'm about 5-10 years too old for skinny jeans. Never tuck in a shirt unless you are forced to wear a suit. So, nice jeans and an untucked dress shirt? With the front buttoned and just flopping about? But slacky shirts and formal clothes can be mixed and matched. I'm sorry, but what do you mean by "slacky"? Certainly you aren't advising wearing a t-shirt with dress pants? But i wouldn`t say to you Mr Scorpio to radically change everything. Mix and match. Oh, I'd say radical change is in order. Like complete wardrobe makeover. 1
central Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 One piece of advice - NEVER wear "tighty-whities" and that goes double if they're baggy. As my wife says, they look childish and 1950's. It also seems that many men wear plaid. That usually says "redneck" and unsophisticated. T-shirts are usually too casual for a date. Jeans may be okay, unless you're going to a nicer venue. I agree with the shoe comment - sneakers of any kind are rarely appropriate except for outdoor activities. 1
Haydn Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Just walk around Europe, trainer fest. Never ends. Most girls i know love trainers. They are never without them, themselves. Mr Scorpio, Skinny jeans are designed to fit all. Dress shirt open to the navel and a huge medallion with the words,`Get it here`, emblazoned across the front. (No don`t do any of that) You can wear a t shirt with anything depending on the t shirt. If it has the words `Colostomy explosion`, written on it then no. What do your mates wear?
hasaquestion Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 (edited) ISo, nice jeans and an untucked dress shirt? With the front buttoned and just flopping about? Untucked shirts are a GREAT look.... if they fit right. The problem is, since Americans are dull squares, the dress shirts sold here have baggy hems that are meant to be tucked in. So you have two options: *Get a well-fitting shirt from a store that caters to stylish people. *Get a shirt that's too long but fits well otherwise and drop $10 to have it hemmed by a tailor. I think you'll find that often the tailoring route is often cheaper than buying the shirt well-fitted out of the box. Counter intuitive as it may be. Oh and other things to avoid when buying a shirt: *Dressy collars - Dress shirts have broad, firm collars, which will look out of place easily. *That "papery" feel - The cheap Macy's shirt often will have that flat look to the pattern. *Excessively fine patterns - Again, a little businesslike. Edited June 18, 2014 by hasaquestion
clia Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Mr Scorpio, Skinny jeans are designed to fit all. As a woman, I have to disagree with this. A man has to have the right age, body, and style to pull off skinny jeans. My fiance is a big, tall guy and would look absolutely ridiculous in them. I don't know how old Mr. Scorpio is either, but I honestly don't see many men above age 35 who wear skinny jeans in the U.S. And yes, dress shirt untucked. Do not tuck it in unless you are wearing a suit or sportcoat. Try the slim fit style so it isn't bulky or flapping around. 3
thefooloftheyear Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 When a man approaches me I notice if he is clean, fit, is wearing shoes (not sneakers) and a button up shirt (not a t shirt). Physical looks not important...I like character in the face. Don't care about height. But certainly care if a guy is fit, has nice teeth. Yes, I dress my guy if we are going out. However, he made an effort to look nice when we first we were getting to know each other. Sneakers and T-shirts have their place but not always appropriate. Clothes are like language skills. Nothing wrong with talking bubba talk with the guys or not caring about appearance...it's good to chill out. However, also a positive to have the ability to crank it up a few notches in another social setting. I can clean up quite nicely, but... IME, I have been hit on by women more when i am sweaty as hell, hat on backwards, off a hard day of work or coming straight out of the gym....So???... I guess everyone has their own deal? *shrug" TFY
todreaminblue Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I think style is ingrained.....guys that wear simple clean cut clothes white shirts, tailored pants clean jeans a suit bought at a second hand shop with clean lines and a tie....whatever.... tidy apparel good shoes or sneakers to me have more confidence in themselves to not rely on fashion to dictate who they are.....its why or how i feel a shy guy with confidence...white shirt simple jeans or tailored pants ...happy to be himself shy or not....there's confidence in who he is a person that just needs a deft hand to bring it out to the surface...men of substance.......my grandfather taught me that.....he also told me never go out with a guy who came to a date wearing thongs and made little effort to brush his hair.........he was right 1
thefooloftheyear Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 As a woman, I have to disagree with this. A man has to have the right age, body, and style to pull off skinny jeans. My fiance is a big, tall guy and would look absolutely ridiculous in them. I don't know how old Mr. Scorpio is either, but I honestly don't see many men above age 35 who wear skinny jeans in the U.S. And yes, dress shirt untucked. Do not tuck it in unless you are wearing a suit or sportcoat. Try the slim fit style so it isn't bulky or flapping around. Those things look hideous on ANY guy.... .02 TFY 6
Grumpybutfun Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I'm forty three and pretty much a jock outdoorsy type so my wife naturally puts me in preppy clothes.... However, I do like Ralph Lauren, Perry Ellis, Chaps or Nautica clothes and some Lacoste footwear...some Dockers Oxfords or Timberland boots. Skinny jeans will never pass over these hips...my daughters wear them. Glad my son stopped wearing the baggy pants showing your underwear look...nothing looked more ridiculous. Like thefooloftheyear, I get more stares and double takes in my sweaty work clothes (plaids, jeans and workboots) than anything. I wear a lot of workout clothes because I work out a lot but my wife doesn't like me to wear them out to dinner for some odd reason... G 3
clia Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Those things look hideous on ANY guy.... .02 TFY My personal opinion is that very few guys can pull off skinny jeans. I think most of the guys I see wearing them look ridiculous and girly. But, I'm an old lady. 2
gaius Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I have an old lucky rotten pair of sneakers that I wear on first dates. They served me well with the first girl I was involved with so they're part of my dating routine now. Never noticed them slowing me down at all and I've heard lots of women mention shoes as being important. Whatever makes you feel most confident is probably the right choice. 1
GravityMan Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 It is far more important that you feel confident, happy and comfortable with what you wear. Don't dress in an untucked button-down or skinny jeans (ugh) or whatever just because that's the "in" or trendy thing or that's what women like according to GQ or AskMen or other media rags. If you feel weird having your buttoned dress shirt untucked, then by all means tuck it in. Most people will notice if you feel awkward or insecure due to what you're wearing, and it's likely that will obliterate any bonus points you may have otherwise acquired in the realm of attraction. Many people will also notice if you come across as a try-hard with your clothes, and that too is going to be a turn-off for many women. You want to look well put-together, but at the same time you don't want to give off a desperate vibe with your attire, and you don't want to look like you've spent 30 minutes deciding what to wear. As the saying goes: "wear your clothes, don't let your clothes wear you". Clothes and fashion should enhance and support the "main course", which is YOU. In most cases it's better to have your own style that works for you. But know how to dress appropriately for the occasion. The ideal would be to fit in, but simultaneously stand out in an unpretentious manner. Sometimes it's the little things that can make the difference between you subtly standing out, and you looking too samey, too conformist and ultimately boring. But for certain kinds of events (e.g. weddings) it's preferable to leave your personal style at home and just stick to the socially-accepted script out of respect. If you wear clothes that fit well, are clean (including shoes) and reasonably match - then you're probably already in a decent spot in the eyes of women (generally speaking). If you're clueless about fashion...then that is one area where having someone attire-conscious who knows you well that isn't your parents can be a major asset. A sister or a close female friend, for example. They can help pick out attire that looks good and is likable in your eyes. That black-and-blue striped shirt might be popular according to some random fashion expert, but that doesn't automatically mean that it'll look good and right on you. The aforementioned sister or friend would likely understand that. 3
Author Mr Scorpio Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) Fashion is a huge part of how you present yourself to the world. I don't understand why so many men don't seem to realize this. I can only speak for myself, but in my 20s it didn't seem to matter in the least bit. Everyone within my social circle -- male or female -- was dressed either in jeans and a t-shirt or cargo shorts and a t-shirt. I had to wear work uniforms during most of that time, so fashion in the workplace wasn't an issue. I had one suit and one or two pairs of slacks and dress shirts for holidays, weddings, etc. Otherwise, good to go. Beyond that, my tastes seem to be 180 from what I've read thus far in the thread. That is to say, I'm much more likely to approach the girl in the jeans and concert t-shirt than I am the one in a fancy dress. What you wear tells me a lot about who you are -- compare a guy in a long sleeved collared shirt with cufflinks to a guy in a concert t-shirt to a guy in a Chicago Bears jersey. What would you predict about guy in concert t-shirt? This also includes your shoes. Get good shoes. Women love shoes. Check. Dress appropriately for where you are going, and don't dress like a bum even if you are going to the grocery store or are just out running errands -- you never know who you might meet. Define bum? Edited June 19, 2014 by Mr Scorpio
Els Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I personally don't really care at all, as long as the clothing is clean and neat, and reasonably suited to the occasion. My guy literally lives in tees and jeans, donning a shirt and slacks if we go places that call for it (or for work). S'all good. So, I can't really answer the other questions... It's just never really been a consideration for me. 2
Author Mr Scorpio Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 What do your mates wear? 90% of them wear jeans and a t-shirt.
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