Mrin Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 ... At dinner. Actually the entire date. First date with a gal I had been chatting with. We went to a garden and then out to a pub. At the garden I noticed that she spoke loudly. I figured nerves. But at the pub she spoke at a decibel level more appropriate for an airport tarmac or wind tunnel. People were actually moving to different tables to get away. She had a pleasing voice and pleasant things to say. It was just SO FREAKING LOUD I didn't detect a disability like hearing loss. I think that is just how she NORMALLY SPEAKS. I racked my brain to find a nice way to lower her voice. I leaned closely. I spoke in a whisper. No avail. Maybe even louder. I ended up just taking over the conversation to keep her from speaking. Such a shame. Nice gal. Anyone have any ideas on how to turn down the volume in a polite way?
Assasda Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Why dont you just tell her that she's talking a little loud? Thats not too hard. Cant be walking on egg shells all the time Taking over the conversation is one of the worse things you can do. should always let her talk
Author Mrin Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 (edited) Ya normally I wouldn't hesitate to be direct. But I got the sense that being direct would have shattered her confidence. She has little dating experience. So I just decided to grin and bear it. Don't really see us going out again. The conversation takeover was more just an attempt to be humane to the other patrons of the pub. Oy vey! Edited June 18, 2014 by Mrin
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 So I just decided to grin and bear it. That is what you should have done, if you had said anything to her on the first date it would basically be telling her to STFU... It could very well be her hearing or sinuses or just nerves.. we don't know what we sound like to the outside world.. including yourself... Later on after getting to know her you might find out the volumes goes down or you might find out you can't take the volume and decide to bail... but later on down the road...
martaldn Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 look what i have found lol http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/351143-how-do-you-deal-people-who-talk-too-loud by the way she could have a hearing problem she is not aware of ?
Emilia Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Loud people usually can't help it. There is a woman in the office that is being moved for the 4th time because no-one can bear being near her, she is so loud. She confesses she tries to keep it down but she can't. I'd imagine it's part of her personality, if you have a couple of more dates with her, you will find out.
Strength in Healing Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I would tell her you have sensitive hearing and ask if she could talk a bit lower, while smiling. I would play it off saying you have always had really sensitive hearing and have to ask people to tone it down a lot and it drives you nuts. BY THE WAY, MRIN. I highly doubt you or anyone in this topic will understand what I'm about to ask, but all I can think about when I see your username is... "You mirin' brah?" 100000000 points for anyone who knows where that quote comes from without googling it.
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I wonder if those loud people are also loud in bed. You don't want to conduct the experiment for us?
J21 Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I have a co worker that talks at volume 10 all the time. I brought it up to him in a nice way since was difficult to talk/listen when he speaks. He apologized and said he was not even aware of it. He got really self conscious afterwards... but went back to volume 10 a week later. Maybe this gal isn't aware of it either
Under The Radar Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 A) Duct tape seems to work well for me ...... though you tend to get strange looks while in a restaurant . B) Maybe she is a whisperer in the bedroom. C) If "B" is not the case ...... refer to "A" again. You can tell her it's all a part of the role playing process.
Author Mrin Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Gaeta & U.T.R. - LOL. Thanks for making me chuckle. As for actually finding out if her volume is also stuck at 11 in the bedroom... man, that's just going to have to one of life's great mysteries. Not sure I have it in me to find the answer to that riddle. ;-)
Fondue Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I would imagine that even if you said something, you wouldn't be the first person to tell her that she's loud. SHe probably can't help it. In which case, either deal with it, or get out. I would probably get it. Or she gets excited and becomes loud? Is that it? That's kind of how my mom is. If she gets into a discussion... The further she dives into it, the louder she gets. Always. She starts out like a normal person, but then gets passionate about the subject and she ends up yelling. She is used to everyone telling her to calm down and quiet up. But still, it always happens.
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