ParanSkies Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Hello, I just entered a LDR half a month ago and everything was great... Until I went off of my antidepressant medication because I foolishly thought I was okay. I started suffering really bad side effects and took it out on my boyfriend who has been nothing but amazing to me. We message and call almost everyday despite the 16 hour time difference. I have decided to go back on my medication, but it will take a few days to take effect so I don't want to contact him for a few days until I am back to normal. He knows why I don't want to contact him and he said he will wait for me. I know it's important to maintain independence and not to obsess over him, but I don't know how to get used to it when we are used to calling everyday. I want to use this time to focus on me getting better... But it's so hard when I miss chatting with him! No matter how busy I am it's impossible to fill my whole day with activities. Even if I do I end up thinking about him. Even if no one has any advice for me , it's encouraging to hear of any similar experiences! But some advice would be a bonus too haha.
SamsonA Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I'm not sure if what I have to say will be helpful at all, but I sorta have a similar situation. At this moment things aren't going very well, but it's not the long distance that's the problem(something else thats sort of ongoing) so maybe my advice might help. The girl I'm dating is 5hours away so though it isn't as big of a time difference as yours, but we still don't see each other that often and much of our relationship is based on texting and calling. In addition to that, I too had problems with depression and also anxiety. At one point I was working 28 hours a week, full time at school, and attempting to keep the relationship alive and eventually I became overwhelmed and crashed. I wasn't happy with myself and as a result of everything I broke up with my girlfriend for awhile. In this time I realized a few things. 1) Therapy helped me so much. Whether it was talking about my lack of confidence, motivation, or anything that made me feel depressed I talked with them about it. 2) Finding/Doing stuff that made me happy. I liked cooking and sports. So i decided to do just that. I learned a lot of different recipes and enjoyed making things. I would cook for hours when I had the chance. I also started working out a lot and that made me feel good about myself plus it tired me out so whenever I got home I was ready to hit the hay. Thing is you dont have to do something because it makes sense. I believe as long as you enjoy it you should find some time to try it. Heck is there anything that you've always wanted to learn but never tried out? Nows the perfect time for that. 3) It sounds cliche, but a nice sleep schedule and diet help so much with your attitude and mental stability. When I was off schedule and not eating well I tend to get grumpy, groggy, and moody. I ended up realizing that breaking up with my SO was a big mistake because they supported me and I just didn't want to deal with the hassle. It took awhile but I convinced her I wouldn't allow myself to be consumed by my issues. To me that was key. Don't use your depression as an excuse to take things out on others and from the sounds of it you do quite well at making sure your BF knows about your problems(I didn't do that at first). Also understand that texting, calling, and skyping is good for a relationship just try not to be dependent on it and be understanding of each other when you have a busy schedule. I also think have hobbies like i mentioned above help because it allows you to stay busy while doing something you enjoy. For me I knew I shouldn't use a relationship to make me happy, I had to be happy with myself as well. Anyways, I can go on and on but I dont even know if any of this helps haha.
Els Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 In the future, don't ever go off ADs without consulting the doctor. There is a need for 'tapering down' or 'weaning' sometimes. That being said, as to your actual question: What hobbies do you have? Could you pick up something new? Get really wrapped up in a book or game or TV series or something? Meet friends?
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