Targetlock Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Hi Okay bit a slightly embarrassing question I'm not terribly good at flirting or picking up when a woman is flirting with me. i have a mild learning condition (dyspraxia) that makes me a bit socially awkward and have trouble picking up on subtle body language and signals, so I've never really been able to pick up on it and also how to start flirting? so any ideas or suggestions of what to look out for and how to do it would be great might help push my dating life in the right direction.
El Brujo Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 NOT BOOKS!!! The people who write those "how to read body language/flirting" books all think they're right, and they all disagree with each other. Also, they don't mention that what looks like flirting in one culture can be VERY insulting in another. 1
Author Targetlock Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 nope never thought reading a book on the subject would be much, though asking loveshackers (is that the term?) about ideas and personal experience might be a help
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 In Western Cultures, eye contact & touching are good indicators that she is flirting with you. If she's leaning in, she's interested. If she's sitting back and her arms are crossed in front of her she's either cold or not interested (the arms crossed is a defensive / closed off/ protective measure) Go to a bar or other public place with somebody you think is good at body language. Scope out the folks around you & tell your friend what you see in the body language. Let your friend help you see it in others. Then you should be better able to recognize it when it's aimed at you.
Priv Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 If it helps, you are not alone... https://news.ku.edu/2014/06/03/flirting-hard-detect-study-finds 1
KathyM Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Flirting on a man's part usually involves talking with a woman in a way that involves joking, teasing, asking somewhat personal questions, and your facial expressions and body language are more intimate. Flirting on a woman's part is similar if she is more outgoing, but if more introverted, may involve a coy smile, blushing, giggling at your jokes/teasing, a tone of voice that is more intimate, and body language where she smiles while looking away before engaging again (which is done because her romantic interest is making her a little uncomfortable).
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Not sure if I have some kind of social affliction as well, but I really have a hard time telling the difference between flirting and just being friendly. I can think of several times where I was absolutely positive a woman was interested in me -- touching me when she laughed, fiddling with her hair, lots of eye contact, always turned towards me, everything -- only to find out that she was married, engaged, or had a boyfriend. And the opposite has happened. I've been told later by other friends, "Why didn't you follow up with her? She was flirting with you!" And I'd say, exasperated, "I thought she was jut being friendly!" As I've gotten older, I've decided I don't care if I get it wrong; if I ask for a phone number, and she says "I have a boyfriend," then it's not the shock and horror it once was. I guess I always felt that was rejection before, but it's not. Took me most of my adult life to figure that out I find it especially difficult in working situations, which is why a lot of smart people just never even consider a co-worker to be a potential romantic partner. Then again, I know a lot of couples, married today, who met at work. Argh! Complexities! 2
Author Targetlock Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Not sure if I have some kind of social affliction as well, but I really have a hard time telling the difference between flirting and just being friendly. I can think of several times where I was absolutely positive a woman was interested in me -- touching me when she laughed, fiddling with her hair, lots of eye contact, always turned towards me, everything -- only to find out that she was married, engaged, or had a boyfriend. And the opposite has happened. I've been told later by other friends, "Why didn't you follow up with her? She was flirting with you!" And I'd say, exasperated, "I thought she was jut being friendly!" As I've gotten older, I've decided I don't care if I get it wrong; if I ask for a phone number, and she says "I have a boyfriend," then it's not the shock and horror it once was. I guess I always felt that was rejection before, but it's not. Took me most of my adult life to figure that out I find it especially difficult in working situations, which is why a lot of smart people just never even consider a co-worker to be a potential romantic partner. Then again, I know a lot of couples, married today, who met at work. Argh! Complexities! Yep same here for me, i try and stay away from co-workers as it just seems to cause more issues and after a couple of crushes didn't work out i won't be trying it out again unless they start it off first.
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