Online Dating - Did/Does it work for you????

[44tt]

I have been on numerous dates via net dating. I have found most of the women I've met (thus far) are using net dating for a reason.

 

The few that have not had baggage I had no chemistry with. Those that I did have chemistry with had issues.. One was a pathological liar, another a sex addict she showed me 4 pictures of mens genitals on the 4th I asked how many do you have? She said 40-60!! Then admitted she took all of them!, another went nuts bc I received an email on my phone. She told me it was another woman and started slapping me! One had a ton of potential but was a workaholic.. She even admitted that was why she was on a dating web site, another on the 4th date broke down in tears in my car and told me she had $160,000 of credit card debt.. All spent on clothing and junk!

 

At the moment I have suspended my net dating accounts and plan to work on improving myself

 

I have done this many of times since a hiatus is often needed.

[Grilled_Salmon]

I'm actually surprised at the number of people here who've done well with online dating O_o

 

On my part, it hasn't worked one bit - at least in OkCupid anyway. There are very few women who live nearby, and most just aren't attractive either (to me anyway). The ones I did found attractive though, either never replied and if they did, they eventually stopped responding.

 

Perhaps it's probably where I live (I assume many of you are from the US), I don't know.

 

There *is* one girl I would greatly like to take on a date, but then again, that didn't even start anywhere, and this is coming from a guy who winded up using online dating as a last resort.

[Fitguyinfl]

OLD is purely a numbers game. I've had many of dates and a couple of relationships (both girls had huge issues) and I'm not willing to invest the time or money to find that 1/100 girl that I'm attracted to, have a connection with, and isn't crazy. I'm 37 and the majority if girls 30+ online have kids or they are single for a reason. I'm very happy being single and I'm not settling for the scrap heap. I'm sure there are lots of fine women with good intentions online but I'm tired of weeding out countless bad ones.

[44tt]

OLD is purely a numbers game. I've had many of dates and a couple of relationships (both girls had huge issues) and I'm not willing to invest the time or money to find that 1/100 girl that I'm attracted to, have a connection with, and isn't crazy. I'm 37 and the majority if girls 30+ online have kids or they are single for a reason. I'm very happy being single and I'm not settling for the scrap heap. I'm sure there are lots of fine women with good intentions online but I'm tired of weeding out countless bad ones.

 

it definitely is a numbers game which is why I know not to take it seriously. And to confirmed that I had a date today and was stood up lol

[OwMyEyeball]

'Online Dating' is a bit of a misleading term since it's really more of an 'Online Pre-Screening Selection' process.

 

A 'first date' from online dating is not a traditional first date. It's 'Verification'. Does their personality line up with what I've assumed from their profile? Do their photos do their physical appearance justice? All the cues that are instantly available within seconds of meeting someone in person are grossly understated or easily misinterpreted from their online persona.

 

At first I was put off by the idea of only doing a 30 minute coffee on the first encounter. But now I understand how crucial and practical the ritual is. They're easier to fit into even a busy schedule and remove a lot of the expectations that come from a first date. Simply put, I don't want to put a lot of effort into someone I haven't actually met. If we click on the First Encounter and schedule a first date, THEN it's go time. Then we can show off.

 

I want to see someone for who they usually are right away rather than subject up both to an outdated courting process.

[44tt]

'Online Dating' is a bit of a misleading term since it's really more of an 'Online Pre-Screening Selection' process.

 

A 'first date' from online dating is not a traditional first date. It's 'Verification'. Does their personality line up with what I've assumed from their profile? Do their photos do their physical appearance justice? All the cues that are instantly available within seconds of meeting someone in person are grossly understated or easily misinterpreted from their online persona.

 

At first I was put off by the idea of only doing a 30 minute coffee on the first encounter. But now I understand how crucial and practical the ritual is. They're easier to fit into even a busy schedule and remove a lot of the expectations that come from a first date. Simply put, I don't want to put a lot of effort into someone I haven't actually met. If we click on the First Encounter and schedule a first date, THEN it's go time. Then we can show off.

 

I want to see someone for who they usually are right away rather than subject up both to an outdated courting process.

 

yup the dating actually starts after the initial meet and greet. So if both go out a 2nd time then that is actually the 1st date

[Andy_K]

So if I sleep with someone the first time we meet, we had sex BEFORE the first date? Wow, that is moving fast!

 

A date is a date. It doesn't matter two hoots if you already know the person beforehand, or it's just a quick coffee. You guys are far too obsessed with your labels. I bet everyone who insists that the first 'date' is the second 'meet' are all the same people who also freak out about the difference between 'exclusive' and 'relationship'...

[the tank]

'Online Dating' is a bit of a misleading term since it's really more of an 'Online Pre-Screening Selection' process.

 

A 'first date' from online dating is not a traditional first date. It's 'Verification'. Does their personality line up with what I've assumed from their profile? Do their photos do their physical appearance justice? All the cues that are instantly available within seconds of meeting someone in person are grossly understated or easily misinterpreted from their online persona.

 

At first I was put off by the idea of only doing a 30 minute coffee on the first encounter. But now I understand how crucial and practical the ritual is. They're easier to fit into even a busy schedule and remove a lot of the expectations that come from a first date. Simply put, I don't want to put a lot of effort into someone I haven't actually met. If we click on the First Encounter and schedule a first date, THEN it's go time. Then we can show off.

 

I want to see someone for who they usually are right away rather than subject up both to an outdated courting process.

 

I like the the idea of the 30 minute date. I had long first date and maybe kill myself in the processus of verification. By doing 30 minutes cofee you show you are a busy man and dont invest a lot

[PegNosePete]

First date with my gf was about 3 hours. Second was about 8 hours. The 30 minute thing doesn't always work out for the best.

 

Best to plan is to go for coffee/pub, you can then extend the time (order food etc) if you're getting on well, or cut it short (got to go after this drink) if not.

 

Why do you want to look like a busy man? Women don't like guys who don't have time for them.

[Tayken]

Not to boast, but since Aug 2013 to date...I have been on over 30 dates from POF and OKC. 25 of those have ended up at 3rd base....with 10 of those sex on the 1st date.

 

I am an average looking guy, but one thing that has absolutely worked for me (in my 40s by the way), is my business like dress sense, scent, smile and communication. All these women say..."you smell nice", then it's my accent and my dress sense.

 

At this point they are already melting and I can feel it. I am also touchy feely and a hugger. The ages of these women has ranged between 35 - 53 (the latter looked fitter than their age)

 

Few of them I have seem more than once, and a couple have paid for the meals, as well as gas for my car when we went out. I treat them all nice, and we all get something out of it

[44tt]

Not to boast, but since Aug 2013 to date...I have been on over 30 dates from POF and OKC. 25 of those have ended up at 3rd base....with 10 of those sex on the 1st date.

 

I am an average looking guy, but one thing that has absolutely worked for me (in my 40s by the way), is my business like dress sense, scent, smile and communication. All these women say..."you smell nice", then it's my accent and my dress sense.

 

At this point they are already melting and I can feel it. I am also touchy feely and a hugger. The ages of these women has ranged between 35 - 53 (the latter looked fitter than their age)

 

Few of them I have seem more than once, and a couple have paid for the meals, as well as gas for my car when we went out. I treat them all nice, and we all get something out of it

 

 

POF seems to work the best for me and I have started to dislike OKC.

[Lipitor11]

The only thing good that I've gotten out of online dating is getting wined and dined. Also, it did help me meet guys that I wouldn't have met in my normal, boring life. I met my current FWB on there, so its been fun. I don't know, I don't believe in finding something long-term from OLD, I do hope I unexpectedly meet a guy that I actually want in real life.

[jay1983]

The only thing good that I've gotten out of online dating is getting wined and dined. Also, it did help me meet guys that I wouldn't have met in my normal, boring life. I met my current FWB on there, so its been fun. I don't know, I don't believe in finding something long-term from OLD, I do hope I unexpectedly meet a guy that I actually want in real life.

 

There are plenty of guys that'll make for a good long term relationship on OLD. You just have to stop dating up. When you date up is when you find guys that don't want anything serious with you.

[Tayken]

The only thing good that I've gotten out of online dating is getting wined and dined. Also, it did help me meet guys that I wouldn't have met in my normal, boring life. I met my current FWB on there, so its been fun. I don't know, I don't believe in finding something long-term from OLD, I do hope I unexpectedly meet a guy that I actually want in real life.

 

 

You might have been "wined and dined", but am sure you gave something up to

[PegNosePete]

I don't believe in finding something long-term from OLD, I do hope I unexpectedly meet a guy that I actually want in real life.

I hate to point out this obvious fact, but the people on OLD are actually the same people you meet in real life. Walk into a room of 100 singles and I would bet that 80 or more of them have OLD profiles.

[Lipitor11]

There are plenty of guys that'll make for a good long term relationship on OLD. You just have to stop dating up. When you date up is when you find guys that don't want anything serious with you.

 

I'm not dating up on OLD, and how do you define someone "dating up?" I go on dates with guys that are decent looking, educated, have their own place, have a good job. How hard is that? I went to college and now have a job supporting myself, what am I suppose to look for guys that live in their moms basement, or go after crackheads and pimps, make 5 dollars per hour??? I don't think so. And the guys that I've met were all average looking, none of them looked like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or George Clooney. It did not work for me period. I'm not going to beat a dead horse over and over again. No chemistry is common on OLD.

Edited August 6, 2014 by Lipitor11

[Keenly]

I think online dating would work so much better for both gender is they both initiated first contact with people they see and are interested in, rather than one side doing all of the initiating and the other side just sitting back and filtering.

 

 

 

It would make the process so much faster I think, to rely on attraction rather than random chance.

[jay1983]

I think OLD would work so much better the women actually used it to meet people and not strike their ego.

[jay1983]

I hate to point out this obvious fact, but the people on OLD are actually the same people you meet in real life. Walk into a room of 100 singles and I would bet that 80 or more of them have OLD profiles.

 

And that's the sad truth, guys get down on their luck so they try it only to find the same type of women who ignore them in person. It's actually kinda scary, the tons of terrible women online can be found in the real world.

 

I reactivated my okcupid yesterday simply cause I bored. All the messages were still in my inbox and 3 months later almost all women I talked still had their profiles up. I deactivated it again right away.

[Keenly]

And that's the sad truth, guys get down on their luck so they try it only to find the same type of women who ignore them in person. It's actually kinda scary, the tons of terrible women online can be found in the real world.

 

I reactivated my okcupid yesterday simply cause I bored. All the messages were still in my inbox and 3 months later almost all women I talked still had their profiles up. I deactivated it again right away.

 

On okcupid specifically love seen the same women for over a year and a half. All these women have to do is start initiating first messages.

 

 

 

If the male female first contact ratio was more 70 30 than the 95 5 it is right now, everyone would have more success.

[jay1983]

On okcupid specifically love seen the same women for over a year and a half. All these women have to do is start initiating first messages.

 

 

 

If the male female first contact ratio was more 70 30 than the 95 5 it is right now, everyone would have more success.

 

You never get those emails that say she rated you highly, send her a message, or the quick match notification? Basically they're too shy or scared to send the first message so they do that to let you know they think you're cute and then you send the first message. I seldom got messaged first, but got those notifications a lot.

[Keenly]

You never get those emails that say she rated you highly, send her a message, or the quick match notification? Basically they're too shy or scared to send the first message so they do that to let you know they think you're cute and then you send the first message. I seldom got messaged first, but got those notifications a lot.

 

I have plenty of quick match notifications that I can't see because I won't pay, and I recuse tortrust something that says I have a message and then asks me to pay.

 

 

I understand that they are shy, but they clearly are not interested enough in finding some one to get over that shyness and tell a guy " hi there, how are you doing ? "

 

 

Sitting back and filtering messages means to me they really don't care enough to find some.one special and instead they just like watching the men scramble for their attention

[jay1983]

I have plenty of quick match notifications that I can't see because I won't pay, and I recuse tortrust something that says I have a message and then asks me to pay.

 

 

I understand that they are shy, but they clearly are not interested enough in finding some one to get over that shyness and tell a guy " hi there, how are you doing ? "

 

 

Sitting back and filtering messages means to me they really don't care enough to find some.one special and instead they just like watching the men scramble for their attention

 

You're absolutely right, that's exactly what it is.

 

 

Just FYI There's a little trick, if you have the android app, go to quick match, who likes you and it'll display age, match % and city. You'll be able to tell who it is when you look at your visitors list. Also when use the quickmatch, and you like someone who liked you, it'll send you a message "you have a match"

[jay1983]

On okcupid specifically love seen the same women for over a year and a half. All these women have to do is start initiating first messages.

 

They don't initiate first message because they're not interested. They've been on there for that long because they can't find prince charming. I have some experiments done using pics of male models, but I can't post because they're links to other forums which is against the rules. Anyways they're screen shots that show how quick the women fire off the first message, how lame the message is and the best part is their reaction when they're rejected. lol Dude gets like 5 messages from very attractive women in one day.