Online Dating - Did/Does it work for you????

[the tank]

Just delete my account. I had date but the processus suck. More messages you exchange before the date, more expectation you have and leave out the mysterious. Than the girl told you she doesnt feel the spark , it easy for them since they have lot of opportunities.

 

In real life many of these girls would not have these opportunities.

Edited June 18, 2014 by the tank

[mammasita]

Worked for me. Found a great guy and we're moving in together in just a couple days. The process wasn't easy and there were quite a few disappointments along the way, but it was fun and I met some nice and interesting people too. They just weren't for me.

 

I honestly think its a great deal tougher on the guys because its a lot more work just getting conversation initiated with women online. I'm quite analytical, so I would browse women's profiles just as much as guys and I'd see women with laundry lists of unrealistic standards or negatives that were off putting. Its easy to get an ego as a woman online because of the number of messages we get, but I think that those that let it go to their head are the ones that never really find what they're looking for.

WOW congrats! If I remember correctly you met your guy around the same time I met mine? September-ish?

[Gaeta]

I always have a lot of fun online dating. I meet tons of men, go on tons of first dates, I have all kinds of stories to tell from funny to weird and scary. I have not met the man of my life yet BUT online dating allowed me to get a lot of dating experience, helped me get out of my comfort zone, he gets me to spend time with men of all walks of life, race, culture, with each date I know better what I want and don't want.

[Emilia]

I dislike the cold, meatmarket aspect of it. Not for me.

[central]

Online dating worked great for me. I had plenty of dates and a variety of relationships of varying lengths - and met my wife that way.

 

I've noticed, though, that many people have very poor profiles, with poor pictures and little useful information that provides any insight into who they are as a person. So much is generic crap that makes the person unattractive or completely boring (perhaps their only saving factor is a photo that makes them look hot). And many people are completely unrealistic or even delusional about who they can attract. They are not going to do well!

[TheBladeRunner]

Recently I just got back on even after I swore I would never do it again and I have had some decent luck. I have done some IRL as well, but OLD makes it a little easier. Not sure if it's how I did my profile, but I have had dates and contact with about 8 woman in the last 3 weeks. There's one in particular that I am interested in seeing a lot more of and the feeling appears to be mutual.

 

Dating in general can be very frustrating, I have definitely been there and got to a point where I took some time off.

 

"Ya' gotta' break A LOT of eggs these days to make an omelette"

[Snakechammah]

It definitely worked for me! I found the love of my life through OLD and what a blessing indeed!

[carhill]

I always have a lot of fun online dating. I meet tons of men, go on tons of first dates, I have all kinds of stories to tell from funny to weird and scary. I have not met the man of my life yet BUT online dating allowed me to get a lot of dating experience, helped me get out of my comfort zone, he gets me to spend time with men of all walks of life, race, culture, with each date I know better what I want and don't want.

That was my experience as well, with many of my early experiences contacting ladies who didn't have pictures simply because putting pictures on the internet was something new and expensive at that time. One such experience, where I later got a scanned picture in e-mail, resulted in a long-distance relationship. Later I would meet my now exW through online dating, though by that time pictures were more commonplace but the concept of the 'interview' and 'matching' was still somewhat new, a lot like what eharmony has today.

 

I happened to also have used online dating, more recently, right around the time Match merged Yahoo personals into its site and the two ladies I dated during that time were positive experiences as well. I'd have to go way back to phone personals from the newspaper to identify any real negative experiences and that's pushing back into the 1980's. Nothing negative to report from online dating, even though I'm not currently dating anyone.

[Philosoraptor]

I had lots of fun using it, met lots of women. Used it as a supplement to meeting women in the real world. Feel that it takes the frustration aspect out of it if you are meeting people in other ways as well.

[Potz4prez]

If anything it's a confidence booster when meeting girls IRL. You can approach a girl knowing that even if you get rejected, there's already some other girl online willing to go on a date with you.

[Keenly]

My experience is as follows.

 

 

First I have to find a girl that's attractive to me. She doesn't need to be amazing, but I need to fond her cute.

Then I need to find a girl that's attractive to me that I have common interests with, as listed in her profile.

Then I need to find a girl thats attractive to me that I share common interests with that will actually respond.

Then I need to find a girl that's attractive to me that I share common interests with that will actually respond and can actually carry on s conversation.

Then I need to find a girl that's attractive to me that I share common interests with that will actually respond and can carry on a conversation that has a spark of intelligence.

 

Then its step two.

 

I need to ( see above ) and then I have to find one that actually wants to meet up and isn't looking for a pen pal.

Then ( see above ) and then I have to find one that actually wants to meet up that I have a connection with.

 

 

I have yet to reach my final step. I've been using OLD for 1.5 years. I've had about half a dozen real life meetings. Nothing worthwhile.

 

Setting up a date with a beautiful, seemingly fun and playful girl from tinder as we speak. We will see how that goes.

[oberkeat]

As a guy, my experiences with online dating have been negative, regardless of which sites I used (match.com and okcupid). I'm in week two of my second stint with these two sites after deleting my profile for four months, and I'm wondering why in the world I decided to go back to it. My profiles have received sporadic views, and the few correspondences I've had have yet to translate into any actual meetings (I've had several girls actually message me first, then suddenly drop off the grid). Several of my co-workers have found their significant others via this route, but personally OLD just ain't for me.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

WOW congrats! If I remember correctly you met your guy around the same time I met mine? September-ish?

 

He's flippin amazing and I still can't believe I met him on POF of all places! Funny thing is, his brother met his now gf just 2 months later and they are now in talks of moving in together!

[jay1983]

Then I need to find a girl that's attractive to me that I share common interests with that will actually respond and can actually carry on s conversation.

Then I need to find a girl that's attractive to me that I share

 

Then its step two.

 

I need to ( see above ) and then I have to find one that actually wants to meet up and isn't looking for a pen pal. .

 

Those are the biggest issues, first the ones that don't respond. If she really hot that's understandable, but the majority are average to kinda cute. Then the attention junkies that are just on there for fun and don't actually wanna meet.

[jay1983]

Went with the 'Few dates and overall frustrating experience' choice.

Had about 6 dates total (from OLD) spread over 2 sites: OKC and Meetic. (Or Match in English, dunno why of all things a name change for Belgium tbh.)

 

Those 6 all either had bs excuses or weren't really interested in putting effort in their search:

- The first one just got out of a relationship a few months ago and only informed me of this on the first date, despite me asking about this but ended up being reluctant to say it prior to the date.

- The second was the 'no spark' type who had a way too busy life to even TRY to fit a boyfriend into it.

- The third dropped off the face off the earth and cut all contact, including the ones who don't even show up on the actual date, nor return phonecalls and messages ?

- The fourth never showed up on the first date, called her, she didn't pick up.

She only responded in text with 'Crap, I forgot.' She never showed, and deleted me from FB, rofl.

- The fifth was initially keen and requested contact outside of the site, thus added me on FB.

Seems it was only an additional friend boost which mattered as the PMs I sent were never responded to, lol.

- And last but not least, a woman who after a week of sending messages back and forth in order to get to know one another suddenly did a complete 180 personality-wise and accused me of being manipulative despite no manipulation taking place ?

 

So all in all, nothing more than an uohill battle for men.

Constantly running into women who don't know what they want, or should not even BE on such sites.

I mean after having been single for 2,5 years up to this point is it really too much to ask for something to materialise on MY end for a change ?

My friends have gotten into relationships without any effort whatsoever lol.

As others have said, I'm putting myself out there, but sadly not connecting. Oh well, if women even dared to give me a chance as I have done initially they'd have landed a great guy. (According to several LS members. )

 

Mine experience started like that, then got much worse.

[Teraskas]

Generally the people who find it frustrating and ineffective are those who just don't "get it". Those with terrible pics and profile who put in virtually zero effort and expect hotties to rain out of the sky.

 

It just doesn't work like that. When used properly it's a very effective tool. Saying "it doesn't work" is like saying a car with no gas doesn't work.

 

Hah, yet another generalisation.

 

Ofcourse not, those are usually the same types who expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.

But that said, there are plenty who have ridiculously unrealistic expectations.

 

I KNOW that I have to make my profile stand out from the generic John Doe online, and not along the lines of "I like to travel, HURRDURR." as 10 million others write in their profile.

I spent enough time writing the individual stuff to make mine stand out, and believe me I put in considerably more effort messaging women than those sending a "hi" "what's up" style of message.

 

My pics are always up to date, with a maximum of being 3 months old before getting replaced.

Granted, to me it seems that there are very few Belgian women on both OKC and POF, whereas on Match they aren't interested at all.

Getting the feeling that on Match those are just placeholder/fake profiles more than anything.

Edited June 19, 2014 by Teraskas

[morrowrd]

I have been in the best relationship I have ever had, thanks to okcupid. After a 23 year loveless, toxic marriage, I am enjoying life finally. I've been with her for three years now, and counting.

[Harradin]

Being a 21 year old guy, OLD is sorta pointless but I figured I'd give it a go anyway. Got absolutely nothing, no replies, I sent over 100+ messages of different things. I apparently had a "perfect profile" too.

[PegNosePete]

I apparently had a "perfect profile" too.

Who told you that?

[Potz4prez]

Honestly, ya'll are doing something wrong if you can't get dates on OLD.

[Harradin]

Who told you that?

 

I was on POF, I posted in the profile review bit, I got feedback, after I sorted it out, the reviewers said that my profile needed no more changes! I deleted my account about a couple of weeks after that, as I still got no replies!

[Keenly]

Honestly, ya'll are doing something wrong if you can't get dates on OLD.

 

Good thing they have posts like this to help them out...

[umirano]

I've been in a good RS that started out online, though not OLD in the original sense, just FB. Now on OLD, so far I got about a dozen matches or likes or flirts or whatever they're called on the different apps/pages. But nothing materialized so far. I messaged 2 or 3 times, one replied, but in such a dull manner I didn't even bother to politely end it. Others are just really far away, yet others state that they'll be in town only three months.

 

So all in all, meh. I'll just keep my profiles up but I'm not really expecting to land dozens of dates any time soon.

[Potz4prez]

Good thing they have posts like this to help them out...

 

Eh, you need to be a date-able person for OLD to work. There's no OLD magic. If they can't get dates on OLD, they're probably not getting dates IRL, so they should step back and assess what they can improve about themselves, not their profile.

[PegNosePete]

I messaged 2 or 3 times, one replied, but in such a dull manner I didn't even bother to politely end it.

Creating an online profile does not cause hotties to rain onto you from the sky.

You put in virtually zero effort... you're going to get zero results out.

It ain't the tools that are the problem bro...