Reebio94 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I've been in the relationship for about 3 years and it got to the point that it simply ran it's course and I wanted out. I'm currently a sophomore in college (had to take a short break before due to family issues) and really would like to take a break from dating. I just want to focus on school for now. When I explained this to my now ex gf, she got upset and started saying how can I be such a jerk and slapped me. It did stung for a bit thought but I'm dumbfounded. I have no idea what's so bad about breaking up. This is what many people do also. What did I do wrong?
GorillaTheater Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 She was apparently very upset. Her response was inappropriate, but it's no mystery.
Author Reebio94 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 It was inappropriate because if it were me, I would be already jumped by other guys or arrested. Still, it actually seemed like the reaction as of an overgrown child that gets upset when he/she doesn't get what they want. Like slapping me is going to make me get back with her... I didn't really see that coming though. I didn't think she would get that upset about it. I did what seems fair, break up with an explanation.
ktya Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 (edited) I'm currently a sophomore in college (had to take a short break before due to family issues) and really would like to take a break from dating. I just want to focus on school for now. When I explained this to my now ex gf, she got upset and started saying how can I be such a jerk and slapped me. It did stung for a bit thought but I'm dumbfounded. I have no idea what's so bad about breaking up. This is what many people do also. What did I do wrong? She was obviously upset with you. But I think it's awful that society condones this behavior in women when a man would end up in jail with a criminal record for it. You did nothing wrong at all. Its not like you told her you wanted to dump her for her sister. On second thought, since she slapped you, maybe you should sleep with her sister. Edited June 17, 2014 by ktya Second thought
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 She had a strong emotional reaction to the break up. She was too immature to handle her feelings & lashed out inappropriately. If the slap is any indication as to how she handles things, you did the right thing by breaking up with her. Violence is never the answer. 3
Author Reebio94 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 She was obviously upset with you. But I think it's awful that society condones this behavior in women when a man would end up in jail with a criminal record for it. You did nothing wrong at all. Its not like you told her you wanted to dump her for her sister. On second thought, since she slapped you, maybe you should sleep with her sister.Thank you. She's an only child but yes she does have a best friend she would sometimes called her sister. Not sure if that would count though. But as someone else mentioned, given this is how she reacts, guess it's good I broke it off.
MidwestUSA Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Did you approach the break up in the cold, clinical way you presented it here? After three years, maybe she felt she deserved a bit more?
Author Reebio94 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Did you approach the break up in the cold, clinical way you presented it here? After three years, maybe she felt she deserved a bit more?No, I didn't. I was trying to be as honest and understanding as possible. It didn't work. She still didn't took it well.
Radu Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Midwest is right, you totally deserved the slap if you approached it this clinically. Maybe you should be thankful you didn't get bobbitized, as you did deserve it a little. On a sidenote, when she does call you about getting back together ... ask her what she would think if you slapped her. 1
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Violence is NOT acceptable. At all. But you seem to be very cold to not understand that a break up HURTS people. How do you not get that? 1
lollipopspot Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 (edited) When I explained this to my now ex gf, she got upset and started saying how can I be such a jerk and slapped me. It did stung for a bit thought but I'm dumbfounded... What did I do wrong? It was inappropriate because if it were me, I would be already jumped by other guys or arrested. But I think it's awful that society condones this behavior in women when a man would end up in jail with a criminal record for it. First, no one is going to condone it. Second, you're living in a fantasy land if you imagine that any time a woman gets slapped so it "stings for a bit" the police are called and the guy is arrested, or some other guy comes in and stands up for her. More often than not no police are called and nothing happens. I grew up with violence, and no one was ever called and nothing was ever done. That's common. OP, I don't understand what you're looking for. Of course you know why she did it. She was upset. You will learn in life that people often get upset if you break up with them, and they don't want to be broken up with. Fact of life. And physical violence is wrong and she shouldn't have done it. And usually people get away with this level of violence - a slap so it "stings for a bit." It's a bit schoolyard. I don't even believe the police would come out for that after it's over, no matter the gender. In this situation, with no other threat or bond, I think they'd just say avoid the person and don't go back. I'm seeing this kind of odd trend on here. Like the guy whose cheap old bike was damaged by his gf after he cheated on her. He really wanted to press charges, on some kind of gender principle. People imagine that somehow everyone thinks it's o.k. that a female did it, and if it was a guy he would somehow be jailed and tortured or something. No one thinks it's o.k. that she did it. But regardless of which gender did that, or this act, most people in the past would have chalked it up to "glad to be done with that relationship" and moved on. I know I have. This seems like a really soft generation or something. I wouldn't call the police or be too traumatized by petty vandalism or a minor physical altercation, if there's no on-going or future threat. Edited June 17, 2014 by lollipopspot
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