The Case for NC

[Amy74]

New break-up?

I know what you're saying to yourself...because it's all things that I've said recently.

 

*It seems juvenile to immediately unfriend them on Facebook.

*It seems harsh and mean to block them from text.

*I don't want to seem angry--or upset him/her.

 

Here's the thing...every step of no contact is painful. Unfriending them, blocking them, wiping out contact information...every single step. But delaying it just makes the pain last that much longer. It's like ripping off the band-aid all over again each time.

 

I decided that I wasn't going to unfriend or block or wipe out contact information. I was just gong to ignore his attempts at contact...at least I'll know that he's still thinking about me, even if it's only to offer breadcrumbs. But even that hurts--the stupid fotos and jokes he sends hurts. Seeing him change his profile pic from 'our' foto to something else hurts. Finally changing my profile foto hurts.

 

Stop letting them hurt you...take the steps now. Do it immediately...for your own sanity.

[jbelle6]

I kind of think some people say those things because deep down they don't want to go full no contact.

 

I think it's self aware and mature to admit that you can't handle seeing those things. I couldn't. I would wonder about every new friend and every new like, that's just ridiculous. I spend about 5 minutes every 2 days on Facebook and I'd probably start spending hours a day for new developments. That is not healthy or mature at all. Neither is me posting pics of myself having pretend fun or me posting pretend happy statuses so my wounded pride can show him that I didn't care one bit and just brushed it off. I don't have time for any of that.

 

Good for you for realizing that it's holding you back.

[Alcatraz]

Couldn't agree more. Over the first few weeks after my break up I was deluded enough to think that NC wasn't important. Came to the point where I was checking every 5 minutes to see if she was online so I could get some sense of what she was up to. The best thing you can do is not care about what they are up to! It doesn't matter, that person didn't want to be a part of your life so why should you hurt yourself so much by making them a part of yours???

 

I've improved so much since going full NC.

[SimpleGuy92]

Being the dumpee, you cope it the worst. Deactivated my account and tried t focus on studies. Still got around going on FB with sister's account (horrible i know). Went back on today and got blocked. Heh. The nerve, wish I did it. But the best thing to do is honestly block and delete. IT's torture. I have an inkling that she is flirting (while she is in clinicial depression) with a guy she met in Europe. It's really not you, it's them.

[David87]

After they dumped you it's not about them anymore it's about you. So start NC and block them (FB, phone, messenger ect) because at the end of the day that's what they want, to get rid of you because they don't need you.........

[emotionalMess]

Delete your Facebook account until you are completely over them - especially if you have the urge to check on them. One day you will check and you will see their new guy or girl with them in a photo and you will be back to square one or worse.

 

Do it now, you don't need it.

 

Tell your FB friends that you are taking a break from FB.

 

Later when you are ready you can start a new account, maybe with an alias so the ex wont be able to find you.

[Ordinaryday]

who cares about what the dumper thinks, or whether they think you are mad at them. their opinion of you became irrelevant the moment they dumped you.

 

I go full NC and tell the dumper at the time they dump me "under no circumstances contact me unless it is about reconciling".

 

and then if they do contact me with a breadcrumb (despite being told not to) I either be really rude to them by telling them to eff off or simply ignore it, depending on how I am feeling.