another_one Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So I will try to make it short so I don't annoy you, guys! She broke up with me about a week ago. It turns out her 'ex' wasn't really an ex and she was playing the whole 8 months of our relationship with both us. She was an amazing girl, and we connected with each other like never before, and we always had a great and fun time together. I broke NC yesterday because I couldn't help it, I rreally missed her and needed to talk to her, and I wanted an explanation or something. She told me that she is sorry for hurting me and in the end she told to 'never contact her again' because she is working in her relationship with her boyfriend. They are moving in together (she's been living by herself until now) in a month or so. This is so painful!!
Zahara Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So I will try to make it short so I don't annoy you, guys! She broke up with me about a week ago. It turns out her 'ex' wasn't really an ex and she was playing the whole 8 months of our relationship with both us. She was an amazing girl, and we connected with each other like never before, and we always had a great and fun time together. I broke NC yesterday because I couldn't help it, I rreally missed her and needed to talk to her, and I wanted an explanation or something. She told me that she is sorry for hurting me and in the end she told to 'never contact her again' because she is working in her relationship with her boyfriend. They are moving in together (she's been living by herself until now) in a month or so. This is so painful!! She isn't amazing. She's a cheat. A manipulator. Block her number. Block her emails. Strive for NC. 8
ThorntonMelon Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Going to be blunt because I think you deserve it. You didn't connect with each other like ever before. She defrauded you and told you everything you needed and wanted to hear. You were a fantasy for her so she could say and be anything she wanted. You have to let yourself get angry at what happened and take off the classes immediately. I am so sorry this happened to you. She is not the person you think she is. With space you'll see it. Until then bury yourself in your mental and physical health and your friends, and do not reach to her for anything, because the woman you knew was an actress and your relationship imaginary. I am so so so sorry. 1
Author another_one Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Some more info about the whole situation (I can't edit the post now): She was telling me that she loved me, she wanted to be with me, lived with me ... and then when her boyfriend caught her and forgave her they spend some time together and that's when she told me basically to **** off. How can someone change so fast and so easily throw me under the bus? I understand that her now official boyfriend is a good guy because he forgave all of this and now she loves him so much or whatever ... but in the past she told me he scorned her and took her for granted, and now everything is perfect and they are going to live happily ever after? I just don't understand anything at all ... I feel so used I always tried to give her whatever she needed. Help her, support her through her depression, always trying to surprise her with details, like songs, videos, drawings ... I think I was a good guy to her, maybe not the best out there, but I tried my best and now I just feel lower. @Zahara and ThorntonMelon: Thank you so much for your posts! I know it's hard to read what you wrote, but I think it's the truth and it will help me to recover faster even if it hurts so much. Anyway, I added this extra info to hear your opinions but I believe as you said she was acting all the time
OwMyEyeball Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Going to be blunt because I think you deserve it. You didn't connect with each other like ever before. She defrauded you and told you everything you needed and wanted to hear. You were a fantasy for her so she could say and be anything she wanted. You have to let yourself get angry at what happened and take off the classes immediately. I am so sorry this happened to you. She is not the person you think she is. With space you'll see it. Until then bury yourself in your mental and physical health and your friends, and do not reach to her for anything, because the woman you knew was an actress and your relationship imaginary. I am so so so sorry. This. Be thankful you're not the current boyfriend.
OwMyEyeball Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Some more info about the whole situation (I can't edit the post now): She was telling me that she loved me, she wanted to be with me, lived with me ... and then when her boyfriend caught her and forgave her they spend some time together and that's when she told me basically to **** off. How can someone change so fast and so easily throw me under the bus? I understand that her now official boyfriend is a good guy because he forgave all of this and now she loves him so much or whatever ... but in the past she told me he scorned her and took her for granted, and now everything is perfect and they are going to live happily ever after? I just don't understand anything at all ... I feel so used I always tried to give her whatever she needed. Help her, support her through her depression, always trying to surprise her with details, like songs, videos, drawings ... I think I was a good guy to her, maybe not the best out there, but I tried my best and now I just feel lower. @Zahara and ThorntonMelon: Thank you so much for your posts! I know it's hard to read what you wrote, but I think it's the truth and it will help me to recover faster even if it hurts so much. Anyway, I added this extra info to hear your opinions but I believe as you said she was acting all the time Her current partner isn't a "good guy" for taking her back. He's spineless. A chump. In for a lot more hurt. Relationships work when each partner is able to meet their individual needs without having to sacrifice a good portion of who they are or what they want to achieve in life. It's a very foolish, Disney-esque notion that "love" means giving our all to the other. When we give everything to someone else we don't have much left to give to ourselves, and whoever we first were begins to diminish. And who we were was what attracted them to begin with. Once that self-determination starts to fade we lose our appeal, despite how much we think we're giving. Relationships are about attraction to who a person is as much as what they do for the other. You are much, much better off without her. It might not feel that way right now, but don't let emotional reasoning determine who you actually are. How would you rate your self-esteem in general?
Zahara Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 She was telling me that she loved me, she wanted to be with me, lived with me ... and then when her boyfriend caught her and forgave her they spend some time together and that's when she told me basically to **** off. She was cheating on you and her bf. Her words mean absolutely nothing when her actions show you a different side of who she actually is. How can someone change so fast and so easily throw me under the bus? It's because she never really had a relationship with you that had much emotional depth. And was probably using you to fulfill a selfish need. That is why it was so easy to flip the switch. I understand that her now official boyfriend is a good guy because he forgave all of this and now she loves him so much or whatever ... but in the past she told me he scorned her and took her for granted, and now everything is perfect and they are going to live happily ever after? Again, she said a lot of things but he could have possibly been the wonderful boyfriend and she just lied to get you to sympathize and attach to her. I just don't understand anything at all ... I feel so used I always tried to give her whatever she needed. Help her, support her through her depression, always trying to surprise her with details, like songs, videos, drawings ... I think I was a good guy to her, maybe not the best out there, but I tried my best and now I just feel lower. It's normal for you to feel this way but you have to stop idealizing her and start seeing her for who she is. You could have been a great boyfriend to her but if you're a great boyfriend to a lousy girlfriend, it doesn't matter how wonderful you were, chances are it won't be recipropcated the way you would have hoped. And that isn't your fault.
Author another_one Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 (edited) How would you rate your self-esteem in general? I used to think that I was a worthy guy. I don't have the best degree, nor I make much money but I think I can love truly someone, be creative, supportive, funny, caring ... But after the break up and her telling me: - That she never wants me to contact her again - That she regretted all our relationship and that it was a mistake - That the are going to live together My self esteem it's pretty low and I feel worthless. It's all too much to take in one shot Edited June 16, 2014 by another_one
Peacock_Tail Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 What a completely selfish and crazy bitch. She doesn't deserve you. All the best to you.
Marco Valerio Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 So I will try to make it short so I don't annoy you, guys! She broke up with me about a week ago. It turns out her 'ex' wasn't really an ex and she was playing the whole 8 months of our relationship with both us. She was an amazing girl, and we connected with each other like never before, and we always had a great and fun time together. I broke NC yesterday because I couldn't help it, I rreally missed her and needed to talk to her, and I wanted an explanation or something. She told me that she is sorry for hurting me and in the end she told to 'never contact her again' because she is working in her relationship with her boyfriend. They are moving in together (she's been living by herself until now) in a month or so. This is so painful!! She wasn't so amazing if she was playing with both of you. You know what to do !!! She is very self-centered, where there is selfishness there is no love. She is not worth the trouble !!!
Chi townD Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Lets analyze this. If you know you're a good guy and you have a feeling that her boyfriend is a good guy, then who's the bad guy in all of this? If you said your Ex! YOU WOULD BE RIGHT!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!! She manipulates people to get what she wants and to hell with everyone else. You don't want that in your life. In the end, her current relationship is going to crash and burn. If they don't get professional counseling, then the trust is gone. Sooner or later, her nice guy boyfriend is going to dump her, or he'll dump her after he discovers she cheated again. And she probably will cheat again. It may not be today or a week from now; or even a month or a year! But, she will cheat again. Why? Because, there were no consequences to her actions. As a matter of fact, she got rewarded for it. You dodged a bullet my friend. Personally, I don't think she's telling her boyfriend the TRUE nature of your relationship with her. Could be why she doesn't want contact from you. Word could get back to him on how involved the relationship really was. So, she doesn't want you blowing up her story.
lonegirl Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I used to think that I was a worthy guy. I don't have the best degree, nor I make much money but I think I can love truly someone, be creative, supportive, funny, caring ... But after the break up and her telling me: - That she never wants me to contact her again - That she regretted all our relationship and that it was a mistake - That the are going to live together My self esteem it's pretty low and I feel worthless. It's all too much to take in one shot Don't allow this to affects you this way. Is not you, it's her! She's a cheater, disloyal person who could care less in toying with two men at the same time just to choose one that is most convenient for her current needs. She's selfish and that's all! Why would you waste your tears and time crying for someone that clearly does not worth it? Never chase her, don't call, message, just disappear. You will heal. Rejection hurts, but there are plenty of girls out there that will make you their first priority and will make you feel valuable as a person and man! Stay strong and don't contact this b*.
ThorntonMelon Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I used to think that I was a worthy guy. I don't have the best degree, nor I make much money but I think I can love truly someone, be creative, supportive, funny, caring ... But after the break up and her telling me: - That she never wants me to contact her again - That she regretted all our relationship and that it was a mistake - That the are going to live together My self esteem it's pretty low and I feel worthless. It's all too much to take in one shot I think most of us have dated a sociopath once or twice. It's scary how many of them there are out in the world. My thoughts: She is an extremely disordered person. To mess with someone so drastically is a tremendous personality disorder. You're just not seeing it that way right now. In her broken mind, she is severing ties because you no longer serve her any purpose - she never viewed herself as giving you anything. The entirety of the relationship was what she could get from you. Focus on why you were attracted to that. She wasn't perfect. I guarantee there were red flags all over your relationship if you are honest with yourself. She wasn't that great an actress. And over time you'll understand she came into your life so you'd never again settle for way less than you deserve.
Author another_one Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 (edited) Thanks everybody for replying and supporting! I think what hurts me the most is to have wasted my time with someone so fake, like living a lie. I've been broken hearted before but at least it was after something genuine, and not this ****. Edited June 17, 2014 by another_one
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