He broke up with me after we got an apartment

[BUBS]

So he texted me at 8:30 in the morning and said he was coming by to get his things today as soon as possible. I said ok and told him I was gonna go to my grandmothers for it.

 

Shortly after he texted me and said "i'm leaving now I didn't pack everything cause I dont have enough room in my car it's just my clothes and ****. I left the pots and pans and everything so you have stuff for the time being till we sit down and figure everything out (regarding half the furniture in the house) he then said "I left so you can come whenever"

 

I said ok and he said "Indies getting fat btw haha" I said that I run him every day and he said "He's chunky. I left the wii and stuff too so you have Netflix or whatever"

 

I said "Oh you didnt have to do that I havent been using it. But thank you anyway"

 

he said "well idk its there lol and nintendo, I only took my clockwork orange dvd"

 

I said ok and left it.

 

So I braced myself for arriving home to empty drawers and whatnot... this is where I'm baffled.

 

He emptied the dresser, on top he had a bunch of clothes and I put some of our pictures and cards I gave him behind them so I wouldn't have to see it. But in the living room he had sweaters and winter clothes he left behind in the closet (those would easily fit in his car)... he took his tooth brush, razor etc, left shampoos and body washes behind...

 

 

HERES the thing that got me. On his nightstand we used to have a larger frame that had chicken wire on it where you could clip photos with clothespins on it... and when he broke up with me i took the frame off the nightstand, covered it with a hoodie and put it behind the door in the bedroom.

 

When I got home he had taken the hoodie off the frame and placed the frame with the pictures and everything on the bed for me to obviously see. wtf?

At first I assumed that he did this because he was mad I covered all the stuff, he left behind all the cards and gifts I got him too. but I texted and said

 

"why did you put that frame on the bed?"

 

to which he responded

 

"idk I was just lookin at it"

 

What is the intention behind this do you guys think? I know its normal for dumpees to over analyze things and drive themselves nuts but it really is bothering me that he would do that, almost as if hes trying to rub my pain in even more.

[BUBS]

Any insight would be appreciated

[BUBS]

I just want to know what it means is all. If its because he is trying to take control, and got upset or angry when he saw I covered our pictures, or if its him displaying his doubt or what.

[BUBS]

I went to church today and tried to be productive. But I'm still pretty low in spirits. I don't understand why all of this is happening, and what happened yesterday is still bugging me and making me want to text him (which I wont)... I'm trying to get my head out of it but its not working. All I want to do is cry

[BUBS]

Low in spirits again today. I got to thinking that if only a few minutes in our apartment moved him in such a way where he felt the need to put our photos on the bed and storm out of there leaving behind things that I wished with everything in me after the break up I had told him to take the apartment for a week or two and gone to my grandmothers. I know that with him not being in the apartment he is distracting himself easily with drinking, friends and having the loving presence of his family. Meanwhile I know a great deal of my hurt is having to feel that isolation, and be surrounded by the death of our relationship.

 

Not saying that I would have given it to him permanently, but just saying I wish I had offered it to him for a week or two while I healed at my grandmothers house. It makes me feel like everything would be different if I had done that. Like he would've missed me more, or second guessed himself more having that time to truly reflect like I did. I'm tempted to text him since rent isnt due till the 6th and ask him if he will stay in the apartment a few days while I go home... but I know thats dumb.

 

I feel so alone. I've stopped talking to most of my friends about it because I don't want to be obnoxious. I try to talk to my family about it but it stresses me out more and it upsets them because they are pretty emotional. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying to keep busy but this whole thing has sucked the life out of me. I can't even control my emotions.

[Zahara]

You're taking the responsibility of making him change his mind. Don't. If the frame was significant enough to move him, then he would be showing you that but he didn't do that. Whether it was a manipulative move on his part or a sincere show of how he feels, the fact remains -- he is still moving forward with this.

 

How do you know he stormed out upset? How do you know that it affected him as it affects you? You're projecting.

 

He doesn't have to live in the apartment to make him miss you or make him second guess. You not being in his life at this very moment should be what shakes him to the core. It's that simple. And yes, do not text him to stay in the apartment so that it can provoke some sort of emotional change in him. Not being around you and experiencing the loss of you is what should be motivating him to want you back.

 

You're going to feel this way for as long as you have this situation with him going on. The lifeline is his "stuff". Until he gets it all out and you have that cord cut, you will keep having this trigger your pain. Keeping busy isn't going to help much when you're still being triggered. As I said before, you can't grieve and truly let go because this situation with the "stuff" is still feeding your attachment, hope, pain and disappointment to him.

Edited June 30, 2014 by Zahara

[BUBS]

He texted me "You didnt hafta pay the internet I was gonna pay that"

 

and the texts then turned to "I found somewhere to move into so I need to know what your plan is with the place if you plan on staying or leaving before the lease is up"

 

I told him I'd figure it out to which he responded

"thats why I'm asking you before I do anything. Nothing is in stone at all I just need to know what your plan is but I'm not trying to rush you, I'm just trying to make this as smooth as possible"

 

I said it is what it is I didnt expect this to happen

 

he said "You think I expected this to happen? I'm just as out of place as you are. I'm just trying to be nice and figure stuff out before I make moves"

 

I said "I'm trying to be nice as well, I'm trying to keep my head above water. It's a lot to take in"

 

he said

 

"I know its a lot. Its also a lot for me too. I guess just think about it and let me know sometime this week."

 

*I said "Ill let you know as soon as I know"

 

he said Okay I have like 2 weeks just a heads up

 

then I made a huge MISTAKE

 

I said "You are stressing things that I can't focus on right now. I love you, this isn't what I wanted. I'm focusing on paying the bills and rebuilding my life. I understand you are too but unfortunatly these things take time. I will let you know"

 

WHY DID I TELL HIM I LOVED HIM?

 

he responded

 

"I know that. I'm just trying to give you a heads up cause I don't wanna leave you in the dark, love doesn't go away overnight. I'm just trying to help you with whatever you need so we can figure this out smoothly"

 

 

I feel sooooo pathetic. And my self esteem is ruined now. I really thought the picture thing was a sign he was second guessing himself. I'm such a fool and now I have to sit down with him to figure everything out soon and hes gonna look at me like some pitiful girl whose still in love with him and all beaten down and sad. WHAT DO I DO?

[Zahara]

Bubs, I'm not sure how else to advise you.

 

I thought you said you are staying put? Why are you prolonging this and now saying to him that you are still not sure? Were you hoping he was going to change his mind? Why aren't you telling him he has 6 days and things are moving forward?

 

Now you have your answer. Regardless of how he views you, you have to get the separation of the furniture, etc. done. You didn't have to say you loved him for him to know how affected you are. He already knows you are.

[BUBS]

I did tell him I was staying put, I specifically said to him today I have no where to go and that he needs to do what he does which was why he was like "I was just giving you a heads up incase you wanted me to take over the lease so you don't get screwed" type thing. I told him to do whatever he wants in the texts when it comes to getting another place. But I had really hoped that I would have a few weeks to sort out who gets what, not because I assumed he would change his mind but because I have been progressing, and since at the time he didnt have a place there was no need to stress who got what and I could focus on my healing rather then figuring all that nonsense out.

[Zahara]

I did tell him I was staying put, I specifically said to him today I have no where to go and that he needs to do what he does which was why he was like "I was just giving you a heads up incase you wanted me to take over the lease so you don't get screwed" type thing. I told him to do whatever he wants in the texts when it comes to getting another place. But I had really hoped that I would have a few weeks to sort out who gets what, not because I assumed he would change his mind but because I have been progressing, and since at the time he didnt have a place there was no need to stress who got what and I could focus on my healing rather then figuring all that nonsense out.

 

It would be best to sort out it out all now versus taking a few weeks to "heal" and then revisiting it. It's in your best interest to bite the bullet and do it now. In a few weeks, you're going to be in the thick of your grieving and healing. So, do it now and get it over with.

 

Tell him how many days he has left and he needs to get his things. Start discussing sorting the furniture.

 

People tend to hold on to stuff because they hope that maybe after some time has passed, "stuff" can be used to reignite and reopen communication. It's an excuse to revisit.

[BUBS]

Ok I took your advice and said "Don't hold off on getting an apartment or anything. If anything changes I'll let you know but that shouldnt change you picking up your things or anything of the sort. Not tryna waste anyones time here"

 

He said

 

"Its all good how do u like the new job?"

 

I said I'm training still

and he said

 

"Oh that sucks"

 

so then I said

 

"It is what it is. I'm not gonna be around this weekend I have plans for the holiday and stuff so I'm not sure when you want to get your things, if its easier we can really figure it all out on the phone for the most part idc"

 

he responded

 

"we'll figure it out I'm not worried about it today, I gotta figure out my exact move in date first then we can go from there regarding splitting up the things"

 

 

I appreciate all of your advice.

[Zahara]

You keep placing it in his hands. A few of us mentioned this to you before that you have to be assertive.

 

You tell him what you want to do. As in:

 

1. I am going to call you tomorrow night to sort the furniture. Please make a list and I will do so as well and we can discuss. I would like to get this sorted out right away.

 

2. Your last day of rent is on the 6th so I would like for you to have your things removed by then.

 

And there is no need for niceties. This man ripped your heart out and just moved on like nothing ever happened. How's your job? Dog is getting fat, hahaha!? You didn't have to pay half the internet? F***tard, do you even know what you just did to me? I'm not here for niceties but to just cut this cord and get on with my life.

 

"Ex-hole, I would just like to discuss the issues pertaining to the apartment and belongings and get this all sorted out bt June 6th." Period. Get mad, Bubs. Assert yourself.

Edited June 30, 2014 by Zahara

[BUBS]

It's just so difficult to not let my emotions cloud my common sense with him at this point. I find myself dissecting absolutely everything and its killing me. I have been sitting here wondering why he would put our photos on the bed if he wasn't second guessing himself, why he would leave half his things behind, why he would then text me two days letter to tell me that he was going to pay the internet bill cause he saw Saturday that I had paid it on the fridge, only to tell me he found an apartment and so forth. I don't get it. I just wish things were different. You have been such an amazing help for clarity.

 

My sister says that even though I told him I loved him that in the context it didn't seem like I was doing anything but push him away, she said I should ask him to stay with me, tell him I miss him and want to be with him. But as stubborn as I know he is, I know itll only hurt me more to do this.

 

I'm trying so hard not to implement anything to get him back. I'm trying to just let go. But its hard when I still want him so badly.

[Zahara]

The reason you're dissecting is because you're trying to hold on to any tiny refelction of hope that could maybe mean that the reality of the situation isn't what it is.

 

If he was second guessing himself, why would he tell you he found an alternative place to stay? He's being very direct with you, but you're choosing not to hear what he is saying but latching on to a picture frame. He may have looked at it and he may have felt melancholy. What has he done to follow up with those feelings? Nothing.

 

You said you love him. He said, "I know that." If he was second guessing, that would have been an open door for him to walk through it and get it all back again.

 

I mentioned this to you before. When I was moving out, it was in small stages. I didn't retrieve everything until I finally found a place. There is no sense of urgency in getting everything he has there when he has storage at your place. There is no urgency in moving out when he is non-emotional and is just doing things at his own pace.

 

Why didn't he tell you he was going to pay the internet bill, knowing he just left you in a lurch but only offers when he sees that you paid it? Wanting to look like the good guy? Just as how he is trying to make small talk and play niceties. Dumpers do that to alleviate their guilt. If you are okay with them, they relieve themselves of the guilt they feel. Oh, BUBs is talking to me, so she's okay with everything and he walks away feeling like he did nothing wrong.

 

Ask him to stay? No. He dumped you. It is not your responsibility to keep trying to make him want you. It's his responsibility to win you over, if anything.

 

You just told him you love him. Another man who realized he made a big mistake would do whatever it takes to win you back and work at rebuilding your trust in him. He would have used that as an open door. It's not about him being stubborn. My god, you tell him you love him and it is not what you wanted and he says, "I know that." He doesn't even say that he loves you too and he's having second thoughts, or he loves you but he has to do this, or he's confused and he doesn't know what to do. He tells you he knows but that he just wants to get it all done smoothly? What else do you need?

Edited June 30, 2014 by Zahara

[BUBS]

He was saying I know that in reference to me saying "unfortunatly leases and all these other things take time its a consequence for everyone" his response to the i love you I believe was "love doesn't go away over night." or "I just don't wanna leave you in the dark, love doesn't go away over night" whatever the hell that means. But yes I agree with everything you are saying, you are right.

[Zahara]

He was saying I know that in reference to me saying "unfortunatly leases and all these other things take time its a consequence for everyone" his response to the i love you I believe was "love doesn't go away over night." or "I just don't wanna leave you in the dark, love doesn't go away over night" whatever the hell that means. But yes I agree with everything you are saying, you are right.

 

I said "You are stressing things that I can't focus on right now. I love you, this isn't what I wanted. I'm focusing on paying the bills and rebuilding my life. I understand you are too but unfortunatly these things take time. I will let you know"

 

His response was him telling you that he understands how you feel and your struggles -- in that you still love him, this isn't what you wanted, that you can't focus, etc. And that is why he's trying to be sensitive to you so that you transition through this smoothly.

 

If he was second guessing any of this, that would not have been the appropriate response. Infact, it would have been an open door, an opportunity for him to say something.

[Zahara]

I'm trying so hard not to implement anything to get him back. I'm trying to just let go. But its hard when I still want him so badly.

 

Maybe you need one last go at this to help you come to terms with it. This picture frame is going to torment you since you are choosing not to see all the other very clear and straightforward signs.

 

Sometimes we need to get one last whack to let go of all hope and start accepting that it is over.

 

It's completely up to you if you want to see if you have a chance with him. But truly, if someone wants you, nothing is going to hold them back. If you have to implement ways to get a dumper to want you, then you have your answer.

[BUBS]

I apologize I didnt realize I left the second half of my text to him out in which I said " I understand you are trying to rebuild your life as well, but unfortunately leases and all these other things take time, its a consequence for everyone"

 

and then he replied. However like I said I agree with you.

[BUBS]

I texted him and asked him to make a list like we initially planned on and get the ball rolling.

 

after a little back and forth of discussing he mentioned how he was going to be sleeping on an air bed for the time being as if to make me feel guilty for saying I was going to keep the mattress, although he addressed it casually, and I snapped.

 

I said "I'm gonna be covering 7gs of your rent we all are getting f*kked, oh well.

 

then he responded "I told you that you didn't have to cover the 7gs of rent. You have a choice to do what you needa do and I'll gladly take it over for myself"

 

so I really snapped and said

 

"Again thats not a choice, I have to cover 7gs of your rent or go homeless? Thats not a choice, if anything legally you dont have a choice and you should continue paying half the rent despite whatever you are doing. I put half into the place. Its not a favor for you to cover my half when you know I have nowhere to go. Its not doing me a solid and theres no choice for me, you knew that when you signed the lease. Maybe if helps to alleviate your guilt to think that you offering to take over the lease and put me and my dog out on our ass is a nice thing, but its not. You end our relationship over the phone with nothing but a "its broken it cant be fixed its for the best" not even a talk face to face, and after weeks of you being silent and telling me that u wanna work it out, that youll effing sleep on the floor for me?!?!?! (btw this is a quote I discussed in the beginning of the relationship where the author says "and I ask who will sleep on the floor for us" its the most meaningful thing I live by and during an argument a week before our break up he said "I'll sleep on the floor for you")... I said "you want half the crap we bought together when your refusing to keep up your half of the lease you signed unless you can have the whole place, you gave less than 30 days notice, you havent even apologized. You tell me you found an apartment and everythings on your terms when we just got a place 2 months ago. You pull playful bitch games like putting our pictures that I covered on the bed to what? Pour salt in my wounds?

 

I told you Id respect ur decision in reference to me not begging you to stay if you didnt love me but im a real person over here, theres a thin line between being nice and being fake and treating crap like we never had anything substantial or good with one another... I can only bend over backwards so much before I'm bending forward and ur ****ing me in the ass. I want to get along, I wanna get past this as much as the next person believe me, but dont test me either.

 

I know we had issues mainly when we moved, thats a hard test for any couple esp when I was as hormonal as I was, but I woulda worked through anything I had to with you thats part of a real relationship, so please spare me because the girl you broke up with wasnt me, that was chemicals. We can do this right and be real with each other, or we can keep being phony so someones getting walked on but it aint gonna be me. We all want these things to be "painless" as you say, but thats not real life. "

 

 

he responded

 

"I understand that. We'll settle it at the apartment"

 

and I said wow because I thought he was saying something else to which he replied

 

"Like saying we will talk this out in person"

 

 

I'm proud of myself for saying the truth and not making him feel like I don't remember all the b.s he's pulled. But a part of me questions whether I made the right decision snapping like that, if its just going to make things harder in the long run for me and more uncomfortable in this situation. I feel like even though everything I said was meant to defend myself and let him know im done taking his nonsense, that in a way I still stroked his ego by losing my cool while he remained calm and collected. I feel like hes babying me now.

[Zahara]

You need to stop doubting yourself. Trust me, you're letting him off too easy and a little bit of snapping is a sweet deal for him. He's lucky you didn't go nuts on him because anyone would have. You only need to work through this for awhile with him and in the long run you will have nothing to do with him.

 

You didn't stroke his ego. You just showed him that you aren't doing nice and sweet BS anymore with him.

[BUBS]

Thank you Z. I've been on these forums for a little over 2 years now and I guess they have brainwashed me in a sense. I find myself looking for "breadcrumbs" and red flags everyone mentions to ensure I'm perceived a certain way and I tend to over think everything I do.

 

From all the advice I've received over the years the way I took it was that before today I was keeping my distance, one word texts regarding the apartment and acting as indifferent as possible, I didn't want him to have the pleasure of even assuming I was affected, I wanted him to start to wonder if somehow miraculously I had already gotten over it, so that maybe he could feel as crappy as I do because he got over it so quick. So I remained as distant as possible with my emotions, and refrained from venting or lashing out because from what I read on these forums, it only strokes their ego more to get a rise out of you, and it seemingly was working to my benefit to remain cold to him the way he had been to me, as when he texted me that he was coming to get his things, I was compliant and left and made it seem like i was relieved rather then still broken...

 

It was in my opinion looking at it that when he arrived to my apartment that he started to get perhaps nostalgic but more so then this that he began to feel his ego crash a little bit thinking maybe I was over it, since i redecorated and put our things away out of sight, and so to see if the "door was still open" he put the photos on the bed. When I didn't thrash out about that and kept my mouth shut, he then texted me 2 days later with the "I was going to pay the internet" thing, and the second I began to show him I was getting a rise out of him, was the second he stopped trying to make simple convo, stopped throwing bread crumbs in a sense and started being cold and shut off, as if he had gotten all the information he needed, knowing that I'm still reeling.

 

This is why I kind of regret putting my foot down. I know it needed to be done and I needed to stand up for myself, but in a sense before I really went off the deep end it was like I had control, not over him, but over myself to not show him the pain I was in, to not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was worth anything to me to begin with. I wanted to embody a woman who had a good head on her shoulders and would never pine over a dude that was willing to be so careless with a relationship with her, and instead I showed that after 2 weeks I'm still a hot mess over him and he came out the other end cool and collected with yet another "crazy psycho ex that still loves me" story under his belt.

 

I know it shouldn't be about what he thinks of me to begin with, and I know all of this is probably made up scenarios in my head and that I need to start being tough even if it means displaying vulnerability. But everything in me wanted him to think that I haven't wasted a second being upset over someone so cruel and heartless.

[Zahara]

I understand the concept of faking it till you make it. Unfortunately, the situation you are in doesn't fully allow for that. You'd have to have ice flowing through your veins to keep indifferent in your situation.

 

It's okay that you showed him vulnerability. It's okay that you showed him hurt. It's okay that you showed him anger. It's okay for you to be human, Bubs. This situation hasn't even allowed you to go start the process of grieving. I couldn't get out of bed for a week when I ended with my ex. And I had a clean break. You are being too hard on yourself.

 

It would be one thing if you grabbed his feet and begged him to stay. If you stalked him. If you screamed at him every crap name in the book. If you cried and pestered him to love you back. You didn't. There is nothing that you did that exhibited a weak and dependent woman. You've exhibited a high level of dignity, self-control and self-respect. And if you've been on here for that long, you'd realize that how you've handled all of this is above and beyond what most of us would have done. You want to talk about assclown being calm and collected? Calm and collected is you facing this head on without ever resorting to any sort of dysfunctional drama. Calling him out on his BS -- good for you. He doesn't get to walk away thinking he pulled the wool over your eyes so that he can think he did nothing wrong.

 

You're too caught up on what he thinks about you. You do you. That's the best and the only thing you can do under this horrible circumstance. You're handling it like a champ. You're doing far better than what most would have done in a situation like this. Give yourself credit. It's time you start looking at your strengths instead of beating yourself up over everything you believe he thinks about you.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Zahara

[BUBS]

Thank you Z I really appreciate all of the energy and time you've put into responding to my messages in a time when I feel like I have nobody. I'd like to think that I've kept my dignity, unfortunatly the night he broke it off over the phone I didn't do those things, I called him over and over, I didnt beg but i tried to make him see that we could talk it out, that I loved him, that I wanted to make it work, at some point when he refused to come home and talk to me face to face I even said I was gonna go to the hospital (I have anxiety and was having an awful panic attack) ... this is neither here nor there, but after that with the exception of a few days later when he called yet again cold as ice and I told him what he was doing was insane and so forth, I have tried to remain as civil as possible.

 

Lord knows if this was a scenario where he wasn't friends with my friends I probably would have burned his stuff and took him to court for the rent. I just know with my anxiety and having to deal with him in the future possibly, I am trying to stay stable.

 

In my previous relationship when my fiance dumped me, I let it ruin the rest of my life. I binge ate, I drank every night like a fish, I cried and quit my job, I let myself fail out of my classes, I did a number to ensure without realizing it, that I destroyed my life using him as an excuse so I could feel even more pain then just the fact that I traveled across the country and was going to marry him only to be broken up with when I came home to take care of my sick grandmother in a time I needed him most.

 

This break up is SO different then that feeling. A lot of my pain comes from missing his company, the familiarity, and loving him, and a lot of it stems from humiliation, all the times I coulda left him when he begged me to stay, how he worshipped me way before we even dated only to throw me away like dog **** in the end like I didn't live up to the expectations of what he assumed I'd be like. But its also like he genuinely is destroying so many other facets of my life unlike my ex and this makes it that much harder because I trusted him not to, and because I have so little control over it all to even man up and take responsibility.

 

Hes destroying my income, and even dipping into my families over this, hes destroying my ability to afford to survive or have any opportunity to go out into the real world and enjoy myself often, hes destroying my social life out of fear I'll run into him, and destroying my close bonds as I build up resentment that my friends don't want to get involved in either of our situations to lend the real support they should be. Even my dog is sick, since he came and left on Saturday my dog has been throwing up, and going to the bathroom all over the house. The stress is immense, and just processing the rejection and loss is enough to send a person like me who tends to hold on to the good in all of her relationships and dwell on her mistakes into a fit of hysteria.

 

I just wish I could get the hell over it already. He's not even someone I can recognize at this point, this person I talked to 24/7 that was my best friend, that cried with me, and laughed with me, can't even do anything to try and make me see that it meant anything to him at all. He treats me long winded texts filled with emotions as a chore, babying them with two word responses basically to do anything to get me to stfu as soon as possible so he doesn't have to deal with me. It makes me so sad.

[Zahara]

My god, BUBS. You just signed a lease on an apartment and he ends it with you. How would anyone react to that? Your response to that was normal. You kept your dignity because anyone under the strain of that kind of situation would have gone ape shytt bonkers on him. If anyone has show of character it is you, not some assclown who was too much of a chicken shytt that he did it over the phone and ran and hid. Didn't have an ounce of courage, empathy or even care to sit you down and do it face to face -- for someone he claimed to love. He lacks character and maturity. You're so concerned about the opinion of a 21 year old boy.

 

Things could have turned out differently as you say. But doesn't it show your level of self-control? Do you know how hard it is to hold on to your sanity when you're not only dealing with a break-up, but with an apartment you can't afford, bills you have to pay, friends that you can't hang out with, feeling so alone, having to split furniture that you both bought together, living in a home that constantly reminds you of him. Girl, take a load of and stop carrying this weight around. It isn't necessary especially for this assclown. You give yourself too little credit. You want to live up to his expectations. Don't.

 

You're going to get over it, the sooner you get all his stuff out of your apartment. Then you can curl into a ball and cry for days and nights. You can start to grieve. And I can guarantee you that in time you will look back and really see that you didn't lose anything at all. You're sad now and that is understandable. You still have an emotional attachment to him. But with time and space, you'll detach and see him for who he is. You will outgrow this and realize that you were dealing with an emotionally stunted individual.

 

And this person that was your friend, what he's showing you now -- this is who he is. Because someone that invested all that time in you would have an ounce of empathy to treat you with kindness and care. I have to wonder if this "best friend" was really a best friend. It's one thing if he has emotionally detached from you and doesn't want to be in a relationship -- that shouldn't stop him from treating you with decency and care.

Edited July 1, 2014 by Zahara

[BUBS]

I HOPE one day I seem him in the way you described. For me I feel like despite it all hes the one that got away. I read over old texts and things last night and he was always fighting for the relationship to work, begging me even, always so kind and gentle... I don't know what happened when he was so good to me for so long. Its so painful, I cried myself to sleep, and I'm fighting the tears back at work today. I miss him terribly and I'm HORRIFIED to see him again when he comes to get his things. I don't think I can take anymore pain.