Interracial dating and relationships

[solway86]

There was originally a discussion at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/gene...ce-when-dating and this discussion but this one is not about whether they're right or wrong, or such, but whether you are in one, or have had one.

 

I personally am fairly open-minded; as long as the individual has the right personality and we are generally compatible with one another, then race shouldn't come into it.

 

Some advice from Wikitravel on this issue is "Don't assume that anyone you meet is either personally connected to or shares the viewpoints of their ethnic-origin Nation. " and I suppose it's true to some extent.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaylan

There are a few reasons why someone might not date outside their race;

 

1. Racist feelings towards people outside of their race.

2. More attraction for people of their own race.

3. Cultural preference for someone of a similar background

4. Seeing potential partners of their own race as of a particular status.

5.Social pressure stops them for indulging in any attractions they may have for people outside of their race.

However, similar background does not always have to relate to race/ethnicity; it can sometimes be class-related can't it, similar experiences in life, etc.

 

Where I live here in the UK, it is a multiethnic city, so interracial couples are fairly common.

 

However, in my opinion, I suppose these may be some of the reasons why people may not want an interracial relationship:

1. Fear of others' reactions - coworkers

2. Will my family like them?

3. Will their parents accept me?

4. Cultural issues - this leans more towards the day-to-day daily living side of the relationship

5. Cultural issues relating to sex/sex before marriage etc.

6. Attitudes on things like religion/politics/alcohol etc.

 

I do have some of those worries, but they mainly pertain to 2 and 3.

 

I am a white male, and would date others of my own race, but I often do see beautiful women who are Indian, black, Chinese, Asian etc. and would not have a problem being in an interracial relationship, but this comes from working in a fairly multiracial area.

 

But at the end of the day, when all's said and done, race shouldn't be an issue, but we don't live in an ideal world.

 

This thread is not a place to rant about racial issues etc., it is for serious discussion of it, your experiences etc.

Edited June 16, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[MoreCoffee]

I prefer dating outside my race when possible. If someone is willing to risk bull****, you know they really dig you. I stay away from fair-skinned blondes. No interest looking into a mirror.

[Quiet Storm]

I met my husband in 1991. He is black, I am white. We are married and have three awesome kids.

 

People WILL judge you, so if you do it, be prepared. If that judgment bothers you, then interracial dating may not be for you.

 

We had family members that disapproved, and I just avoided them and cut them out of our lives. My parents had issues at first, but once the grandkids arrived their prejudice evaporated and was replaced with love.

 

I also live in a culturally diverse area. My kids would face much more adversity if we lived in areas that are not so accepting. People always say mixed kids will have issues fitting in, but I have not experienced that yet. My kids believe they are more culturally well rounded due to their mixed race. They have learned the cultural "norms" of both me & their father, which helps them relate to both races. They seem to feel "enlightened" in a way, and find the cultural differences interesting. There are also a lot of other mixed kids here. I also think the younger generation is more accepting of the differences of others, probably due to social media's reach.

 

So my experience has been positive, but I didn't really care what my family thought. If you are someone that takes judgment to heart, it may not be for you.

[Bruce Leigh]

Yes i would date women of different ethnicity.

And i have seen some ethnic women that i have found physically attractive but as they never showed any signs of interest in me, i did not approach them.

But i don't approach any woman without a hint of interest.

[mammasita]

I really don't care what people think. I'm sleeping with my partner......not my parents, not my friends, not my coworkers, not the rest of the world.

[umirano]

One of the biggest reasons why people don't date another race is the ethic homogeneity of the social group and/or geographic area. I don't think that many actively avoid potential partners from another race or try to fight their feelings once they have them. If there's fire in the hole, there's very little one can do, even if they have all those preoccupations about other's reaction.

 

I happen to live in a pretty diverse area, but most of my social circles are ethically extremely homogeneous. I am fairly certain we will see more interracial couples once ethical groups are equally represented in different social classes / work fields / (sub-)cultures. The growth of international travel and migration will add to that. In Europe a lot of countries host a fair percentage of migrants from other races. The thing is that they have often a strong tradition of dating their own exclusively and secondly, they usually end up living / working / going out in the same area often, and it takes a decade or two for them to integrate fully.

 

I see a lot of interracial couples in academic circles.

[solway86]

Thank you for your help and advice.

[AnneT1985]

Very interesting post. My parents are Eastern European and my husband East Asian. We haven't experienced any issues from others. Perhaps this is because we came from similar backgrounds in every other way besides our skin color, or perhaps we are just oblivious due to not caring.

[still_an_Angel]

I only ever had 1 relationship with my own race, all others are foreigners. This is mainly due to migration thus exposed to people of different races. I don't have a problem with the guys, but I have had my fair share of other people who have stared, frowned and huffed as if it's a crime to date other races. I have some exes who pursued me because they found me exotic just as there were others who were truly colour-blind and dated me for me. I had a friend from uni who was disgusted by my choice to date outside my race and we haven't spoken since '99.

 

My stbxH's parents had reservations about me when they realized our relationship was getting serious. And yes, there were some family members who would avoid talking to me and clearly labeled my kids as half breeds. My kids have come across other kids who would mock me (their mother) just as there are those who think their colouring is lovely. I have always taught them to be proud of their heritage (both sides) and that they are culturally more blessed having two.