JoL Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 I am wondering..what is the best way to meet people? I have been single for a couple of months now, and although I am not looking for a serious long term boyfriend, i would like to meet new people. I have different groups of friends and find myself always around new people which is great. But i guess i must be giving off a vibe of not wanting to flirt etc! I know the way i have always met guys in the past is through friends or social situations. I don't really think the club scene is the best place to meet someone, i like to talk to someone a bit and get to know them as a person before actually going on an offical date..like figuring out if there is a connection BEFORE the date. I guess maybe i need to present myself in a more flirtatious manner perhaps? Do guys look for a vibe that a girl is interested in more before pursuing her? Link to post Share on other sites
hongkongchick Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 r u in school (college?) coz i think school is the best best place to meet potential bfs since there are many guys there and they might share the same major or interest (student associations, drama, basketball...) but if r u not in school anymore, and if you really want to meet someone to date, not just for some "good times", then maybe (if you dont think it's dorky) you should enroll in some class, like pottery or painting... anything that u are interested in (or might be interested in) because at those places, you might find guys that have the same hobby or interest as you do. of course if your hobby is ballet..... so pick something more a neutral hobby and fun to you, and one that doesnt take up a lot of time, but enough so you can get to know the person. and what about book stores? books arent just for nerds or very smart people! HAHAH, it can also be a place to strike up a conversation. i can think of many many public places, but the bottom line is that you have got to be aggressive too, you can just sit there and look purdy and hope someone will approach you, you have to make it happen too if you want it bad enough Link to post Share on other sites
kanga Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Has anyone actually ever met anyone at a bookstore or coffeeshop? People always say that's a good place, but I have my doubts. Try a co-ed recreational sports team like volleyball or softball. Find one that is more social than competitive. Your college alumni club if you're in a large enough city. Volunteer for an organization. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Originally posted by kanga Has anyone actually ever met anyone at a bookstore or coffeeshop? People always say that's a good place, but I have my doubts. no one I know of. maybe if it is a small town but why would small town have a borders. in most big cities strangers don't try to pick up strangers in stores of any kind. i don't know of any couple that met randomly at a coffee haus or bookstore or the grocery store. I've know women who would get hit on at these places but they would always blow the guy off. i hang out in bookstores at least once a week for last 10 years and i haven't seen anyone hook up. people just keep to themselves or their group. Link to post Share on other sites
_Saffy_ Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 I'd be really peeved if someone hit on me at the bookstore.............interfering with my reading time, stopping me choose the best books, sheeeeeesh, how inconsiderate is that?? books arent just for nerds or very smart people! i'm a smart nerd and i love it Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Originally posted by _Saffy_ I'd be really peeved if someone hit on me at the bookstore.............interfering with my reading time, stopping me choose the best books, sheeeeeesh, how inconsiderate is that?? yes, SAFFY, isn't that the truth. Imagine you are in the self-helf section and some nerdy dude wearing sneakers and glasses comes up to you and in his nasal voice says "excuse me....miss, are u single?? i need a date real bad, sniffle, sniffle" hah HAH A ahh AHA HahhAHAh AH AH HA HA Link to post Share on other sites
_Saffy_ Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale yes, SAFFY, isn't that the truth. Imagine you are in the self-helf section and some nerdy dude wearing sneakers and glasses comes up to you and in his nasal voice says "excuse me....miss, are u single?? i need a date real bad, sniffle, sniffle" hah HAH A ahh AHA HahhAHAh AH AH HA HA Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted February 15, 2005 Author Share Posted February 15, 2005 LOL, i dont think i would want to meet someone in a bookstore, i go there to buy my books and browse, not get hit on! I have just finished university, and i live in a big city so that is no drama, there's always something to do, it's more a case of me not presenting myself as "looking" for something i guess. Most of my friends are dating people they have been with since high school, so i'm kind of the only one who has dated outside of my circle of friends with guys i met a uni, at the gym etc. Well- with volunteer work i actually want to work in womens domestic violence..which is the last place to meet a guy!! I am starting full time work soon which i guess will be good for meeting new people. Link to post Share on other sites
kanga Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 If you live in a big city, you'll have good opportunities to meet people. When I lived in Chicago there was a group called Single Volunteers of Chicago. There might be something like that in your area. I worked at a women's shelter in college. At the YWCA. Yeah. No men there. I think instead of thinking, "what can i do to meet new guys," you should go out there and say, "what can i do that i will enjoy?" My friend began taking ice skating lessons and has really fallen for a guy who shared the rink while taking hockey lessons. Check out some of the different groups in the area -- I'm also involved with a political organization for young adults, and have met some cool people there. Link to post Share on other sites
RoxStar Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 I have heard good things about people meeting on the internet dating sites but that is personal preference. For some reason I dont think I could do that. I would always be afraid that the person on the other side of the computer is a 58 year old married man looking to get some kicks... but like I said that is just me and I know some people that have had good sucess stories. One friend of mine is engaged to a girl he met online now. But since you are in a city look into 6 minute dating. I have a friend that did it and said it was great. She met a guy and they have been dating about 8 months now. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Try meeting people online. There are personals sites and chatrooms. The funny thing is that the personals are no longer taboo anymore. Every single girl that I know uses them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted February 15, 2005 Author Share Posted February 15, 2005 It's not so much that i want to meet a potential boyfriend, im really not ready for that- just a place to meet different people that doesnt involve the club scene, which i enjoy as a social thing, but not to meet guys. I guess it is just nice to have someone to hang out with, flirt with and just generally have a good, laid back time with. But all my guy friends are dating my girlfriends LOL. Oh well, im happy with my life, just wanted to see what peoples suggestions were. I mostly find i meet new people through friends or at work etc..most of my interests lie in women-related fields- and I dont think a womans shelter exactly has a bunch of sexy young men lining up to find a date! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Originally posted by JoL I guess it is just nice to have someone to hang out with, flirt with and just generally have a good, laid back time with. But all my guy friends are dating my girlfriends LOL. why not just steal one of your girlfriend's boyfriend??? other women do it all the time Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 I got hit on while waiting in line at the grocery store last night. he was standing directly behind me and started making friendly chat and smiling. He found it extremely amusing that I was purchasing loads of catfood, but no food for myself. We laughed about how that's typical with catlovers - their babies come first. He seemed interested to want to carry on the conversation, but I was caught alittle off guard, so I hastily paid the cashier and told him I now needed to race home to my 3 furry little valentines. Anyways, my point is : opportunities for meeting new people surround us everyday, and when we least expect. Next time it happens I'm going to be more open-minded. And because I'm an animal lover I have also had interesting discussions with total strangers while I've been in petstores. I wish I could have a dog too, and I've heard that getting out there everyday walking your dog is an excellent way to meet other dogowners and like-minded people. If pets aren't your thing, then try to find SOMETHING that you're passionate about...people will notice and become more drawn to you. Just my 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
Sckott Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Find ways to meet new people, at least 3 different ways that make you feel comfortable and do each twice. And yes, always be open minded. Link to post Share on other sites
hongkongchick Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Originally posted by jellybean Anyways, my point is : opportunities for meeting new people surround us everyday, and when we least expect. Next time it happens I'm going to be more open-minded. exactly! it is not a matter of "where to meet people", it's more like "how to approach people so they dont freak out" and "how to just strike up a convo" in bookstores, grocery stores, wherever that might seem odd, are places where u least expect to meet someone cool. my bf and i both have no problem in starting a conversation with anyone anywhere, my bf is the kind of person who isnt "afraid" to talk, ask for advice, ask for help, and that's why he is the only one person i have ever known to have loads of friends, people who dont mind helping him, foreigners that are more than happy to translate for him, ......etc. so i hope you dont find it "usual" that opportunities for meeting new friends, guys, whatever, can happen in the produce section in the grocery store. we need to make things happen, if we are afraid to try something "odd", we will never know what "could've" happened, who we "could've" met. Link to post Share on other sites
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