Superman2024 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 (edited) So three weeks ago I messaged a girl on a dating site and she replied within a couple of days. We've both exchanged 8 messages but I'm the only one asking the questions and she's only answering them and not asking anything back. Her answers are very short too. It seemed time to move this to real conversation so I asked her if she'd like to talk sometime. She said to talk away and to tell her what I can bring to the table compared to the rest of the messengers. Really? Isn't conversation supposed to be two ways? She obviously doesn't want to talk on the phone and doesn't seem to be showing much interest. Any opinions on this? Edited June 16, 2014 by bluestealth added more details
jbelle6 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So three weeks ago I messaged a girl on a dating site and she replied within a couple of days. We've both exchanged 8 messages but I'm the only one asking the questions and she's only answering them and not asking anything back. Her answers are very short too. It seemed time to move this to real conversation so I asked her if she'd like to talk sometime. She said to talk away and to tell her what I can bring to the table compared to the rest of the messengers. Really? Isn't conversation supposed to be two ways? She obviously doesn't want to talk on the phone and doesn't seem to be showing much interest. Any opinions on this? Wow, she sounds like a real treat. Is she taking resumes as well? 6
RachR Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So three weeks ago I messaged a girl on a dating site and she replied within a couple of days. We've both exchanged 8 messages but I'm the only one asking the questions and she's only answering them and not asking anything back. Her answers are very short too. It seemed time to move this to real conversation so I asked her if she'd like to talk sometime. She said to talk away and to tell her what I can bring to the table compared to the rest of the messengers. Really? Isn't conversation supposed to be two ways? She obviously doesn't want to talk on the phone and doesn't seem to be showing much interest. Any opinions on this? Sounds like a brat full of herself. I would just stop responding or initiating. Even if she didn't send that messaging asking what you can bring to the table etc., it's a telling sign she wasn't asking you any questions in return and I would have suggested moving on and that she's likely not very interested just for that alone. 2
Under The Radar Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Seriously, move on ...... don't waste your time with a 9th message. 1
Author Superman2024 Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 I wasn't getting the best vibes from her along the way and that last message was quite a turn off. What she doesn't realize is that she's the one needing to bring something to the table. I'll be cutting this one off for sure. 2
Author Superman2024 Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Not in this case. Her profile was short on details and I had to see how close our religious views were since she had "other religion" listed. 8 messages sounds like a lot but they were short. She actually wanted me to keep the questions coming but that's when I offered to talk and I got the condescending message.
PegNosePete Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 IMO you left it too long. 3 weeks is WAY too long for an online conversation before meeting. Most likely she is talking to multiple guys and you're not taking much initiative to move to an RL meeting, whereas others are. She lost interest. But yeah she does sound like a brat... move on. 4
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 At this point I'd either let it go or send back something snarky like: What I bring to the table is sincerity & politeness. Despite the fact that you aren't asking me questions & sending out this entitled vibe, I still see something worthwhile in you. I'd like to take you for coffee if you promise to be more engaging & considerate of my feelings. If you are not up for that best wishes & I hope you find what you are looking for. Coffee will be my treat but you have to respond. 2
LostOnes05 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 ^^^ Ooo Kill Em!! Nothing to really add. Follow donnivain's advice!! Yes she is a brat and seeking an ego boost. Don't fall for that my friend. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 At this point I'd either let it go or send back something snarky like: What I bring to the table is sincerity & politeness. Despite the fact that you aren't asking me questions & sending out this entitled vibe, I still see something worthwhile in you. I'd like to take you for coffee if you promise to be more engaging & considerate of my feelings. If you are not up for that best wishes & I hope you find what you are looking for. Coffee will be my treat but you have to respond. OH SNAP!!!!! :laugh: d0nnivain where were you with this response when I was in the same boat as the OP? I would have LOVED to use this line on some of the idiots I met online, lol. Honestly, although I'm usually not one for playing games, I love d0nnivain's response. Sometimes life gifts us with situations that warrants a bit of smart-ass sass. This seems to fit the bill. Have some fun with it
Fondue Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 First off, leave her alone. She sounds spoiled, concieted, and everythign else under the sun. Secondly, don't wait long to ask for a number, bro. Or at least, give them yours. Two messages is enough to say, "This will be my last message. I hate communicating online and prefer to do it by phone or in person. Here is my #." EVERY SINGLE TIME I wrote that, I got a text the following day. Never a call, but a text. From then on out, you call the shots. Communicate in your preferred method. You just have to be a bawse. End it at that. THere is only one acceptable mode of conversation that is convenient for YOU. Women respect that.
Babolat Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So three weeks ago I messaged a girl on a dating site and she replied within a couple of days. We've both exchanged 8 messages but I'm the only one asking the questions and she's only answering them and not asking anything back. Her answers are very short too. It seemed time to move this to real conversation so I asked her if she'd like to talk sometime. She said to talk away and to tell her what I can bring to the table compared to the rest of the messengers. Really? Isn't conversation supposed to be two ways? She obviously doesn't want to talk on the phone and doesn't seem to be showing much interest. Any opinions on this? Which OLD site, I think I chatted to her too...our chat exchanged reached 2-3, moved to texting, and after 2-3 quick, short terse replies from her, mostly telling me how interested she is but how busy she is, keep talking to me, I dumped her. It was a pretty bad break up too.
Babolat Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 3 weeks is WAY too long for an online conversation before meeting. . Agreed on the time frame, disagree that she lost interest. She is probably enjoying all of the attention she is getting. I keep OLD chats shorter now, if there is a connection I get a phone #, text briefly, then call if I still feel a connection, like what I "see/hear", if the connection is still there I ask to meet. Dragging it out over 2, 3, 4 weeks is just build up that makes no sense to me these days.
Babolat Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 OH SNAP!!!!! :laugh: d0nnivain where were you with this response when I was in the same boat as the OP? I would have LOVED to use this line on some of the idiots I met online, lol. Honestly, although I'm usually not one for playing games, I love d0nnivain's response. Sometimes life gifts us with situations that warrants a bit of smart-ass sass. This seems to fit the bill. Have some fun with it I tried a similar approach with a girl a couple of weeks ago. Her looks kept me into her, not her quick stupid replies . We agreed on meeting, got down to when and where and she kept using words like "possibly" "probably" "maybe" "oh I forgot about my dogs birthday party that night" (you get my point on this one). But she kept texting! I texted her to tell her our communication was off, she seemed distracted, and wished her the best. 1
jay1983 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 If a girl is interested she usually writes back right away. The reason she's texting back is probably cause she's bored. Remember a large percent of girl online are only on there for attention.
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I wasn't getting the best vibes from her along the way and that last message was quite a turn off. What she doesn't realize is that she's the one needing to bring something to the table. I'll be cutting this one off for sure. Wise move. You gave her plenty of opportunity to raise the discussion, meet up, talk in person, etc. If she's not up for that, you have to ask, WTF is she doing on the site? Move on. 1
Babolat Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Or at least, give them yours.. I do this sometimes as a way to get theirs. I get one of three responses: They text/call me aftwardsThey give me theirs and say "Now you take the initiative as the man", which I love.They give me theirs and I text first for a bit, and usually ask if it's okay to call after a few texts, and when is a good time to call.
Author Superman2024 Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 I could've had some fun with it but since I'm a nice guy, I just told her I didn't think we were a match and good luck with her search. About a week into our messages she disappeared for 8 days and didn't get online so that dragged it on, but in the future if I'm really into someone I'll try to keep it shorter. 1
RachR Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 We know nothing about her. Why us she a 'brat'? Is this a joke? She comes off like prime Miss Little Princess material... normal, mature people with modesty wouldn't message something like she did. It could have been she was being flirty, but based on the other things the OP said... yeah, no. 1
RachR Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 At this point I'd either let it go or send back something snarky like: What I bring to the table is sincerity & politeness. Despite the fact that you aren't asking me questions & sending out this entitled vibe, I still see something worthwhile in you. I'd like to take you for coffee if you promise to be more engaging & considerate of my feelings. If you are not up for that best wishes & I hope you find what you are looking for. Coffee will be my treat but you have to respond. Hahaha And entitled... that's the word I was looking for when I said little princess in my above post.
Kid_Charlemange Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Honestly, although I'm usually not one for playing games, I love d0nnivain's response. Sometimes life gifts us with situations that warrants a bit of smart-ass sass. This seems to fit the bill. Have some fun with it Yarp. Pretty much perfect. I really hope the OP tries this... very interested to see what the results are. I suspect the brat will just ignore it, but who knows? Maybe this will spark something in her and she'll open up. Nothing to lose, either way...
Author Superman2024 Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 So I've got another woman I've been chatting with as well on the same site for about the same amount of time (3 weeks) and messages (8 each). I'm also asking all the questions, getting very short answers, and not getting questions back. This one dragged on because her main picture was of her back and I couldn't see her face. Her other two pictures were of a group and I couldn't tell which one she was. I asked twice if she could point herself out and if she could share more pictures but she never would. She claimed to be a nurse but her profile said she only went to high school (she later told me where she went to college). I just found this to be a little strange.
Babolat Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 So I've got another woman I've been chatting with as well on the same site for about the same amount of time (3 weeks) and messages (8 each). I'm also asking all the questions, getting very short answers, and not getting questions back. This one dragged on because her main picture was of her back and I couldn't see her face. Her other two pictures were of a group and I couldn't tell which one she was. I asked twice if she could point herself out and if she could share more pictures but she never would. She claimed to be a nurse but her profile said she only went to high school (she later told me where she went to college). I just found this to be a little strange. It's my opinion you are taking too long and probably out thinking or trying to justify some of these. My guess is your hit count is low, so your options are low, so you invest a lot of time in a "hit". If no pics, and they message me (I don't message if they do not have pics) first, and I like their profile I will tell them I like their profile and also tell them I need pics, in a nice way. And I always get them. You've got to get the conversation offline quicker, or move on.
Keenly Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I don't know what woman would agree to meet a complete stranger after 2 or 3 messages. Probably not a woman you'd want to date.
PegNosePete Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I don't know what woman would agree to meet a complete stranger after 2 or 3 messages. Probably not a woman you'd want to date. I've met many after 2-3, and they have all been perfectly pleasant, normal human beings.
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