inlin Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So like my title says, my ex contacted me back saying (after 3 months of not seeing each other) that she misses me and thinks about me a lot. She says that she was reading all the messages we wrote to each other and when she thinks about the future she thinks of me and it makes her happy... I know that she just recently got back from her trip also. I figure after a trip she would forget about me, but not really. As far as I know, there was no other guy involved, but you never know. We scheduled to meet this week and talk. What are your guys opinion?
Elle1975 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So like my title says, my ex contacted me back saying (after 3 months of not seeing each other) that she misses me and thinks about me a lot. She says that she was reading all the messages we wrote to each other and when she thinks about the future she thinks of me and it makes her happy... I know that she just recently got back from her trip also. I figure after a trip she would forget about me, but not really. As far as I know, there was no other guy involved, but you never know. We scheduled to meet this week and talk. What are your guys opinion? A guy puts a couch on the curb, hoping someone will take it. A week goes by and no one is interested in the couch. Finally, he decides to put a sign on it "couch $350". The next morning the couch was gone. That's my opinion on it. Don't throw yourself a her. Put a price tag around your neck. Make her realize that you're not some old couch nobody wants. Note though that I would really avoid being a jerk, sarcastic, or anything similar. Being polite and confident is always attractive. 2
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Take it slow. Be confident with yourself and what you want. Don't come across as too needy or too eager to be with her. However, if you really want to be with her, don't come off as too cold either. Its a balancing act. Too much one way can ruin it.
writergal Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 inlin, sounds to me like her email to you is a term I've recently learned here on LS called a "bread crumb." That is, she threw out a feeler email to see if you are still hooked on her. Are you? Never let anyone - including an ex - treat you like an option. 3
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So like my title says, my ex contacted me back saying (after 3 months of not seeing each other) that she misses me and thinks about me a lot. She says that she was reading all the messages we wrote to each other and when she thinks about the future she thinks of me and it makes her happy... I know that she just recently got back from her trip also. I figure after a trip she would forget about me, but not really. As far as I know, there was no other guy involved, but you never know. We scheduled to meet this week and talk. What are your guys opinion? Nothing about this says she wants to try again. I bet she doesnt go next week or it doesnt go anywhere near what you want. Pulling the trigger WAY too fast. She is having a moment of weakness, as you clearly know how that is. Id honestly let it go, but everyone knows what you're going to do.
Author inlin Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 inlin, sounds to me like her email to you is a term I've recently learned here on LS called a "bread crumb." That is, she threw out a feeler email to see if you are still hooked on her. Are you? Never let anyone - including an ex - treat you like an option. There was a bit more too it as well, but that was the gist of it. But like someone said I'm not going to jump in and be open. I'm going there to talk and see how it is. Hell, maybe there wont be a spark. We shall see.
jbelle6 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 So like my title says, my ex contacted me back saying (after 3 months of not seeing each other) that she misses me and thinks about me a lot. She says that she was reading all the messages we wrote to each other and when she thinks about the future she thinks of me and it makes her happy... I know that she just recently got back from her trip also. I figure after a trip she would forget about me, but not really. As far as I know, there was no other guy involved, but you never know. We scheduled to meet this week and talk. What are your guys opinion? Where did she say she wants you back? Here I just see that she contacted you back. You got the old I miss you breadcrumb. 1
Author inlin Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Where did she say she wants you back? Here I just see that she contacted you back. You got the old I miss you breadcrumb. She said she wants to try again.
Nimbus4dt Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I'd go if you have feelings for her still and think there could still be a future. Have a coffee, see what she has to say for herself, listen, listen and listen. But then I'd be looking at the actions, as these are the important things, words are just words. See what she is prepared to do, see if she can acknowledge her negative actions within the past relationship, see if she can say "sorry" for her miss doings. Wish I was in the same situation!!
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 She said she wants to try again. Where? Please show me where she said it in your original posting.
David87 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 It's a breadcrumb, she'll get her ego boost and leave you again . 1
Author inlin Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 I didnt post the full message on here, but she did say directly that she wants to try it again.... I wouldnt say she wants to try it again if she didnt say it.
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Holy crap people. The guy says she said something, believe him. Aren't we supposed to be helping each other? Instead you are tearing him down because of how he phrased a forum post. I think I've seen two posts so far where the person copypasta's the entire conversation...
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Holy crap people. The guy says she said something, believe him. Aren't we supposed to be helping each other? Instead you are tearing him down because of how he phrased a forbum post. I think I've seen two posts so far where the person copypasta's the entire conversation... No one is tearing him down. Calm down. That part he left out is incredibly important. OP, MAYBE it would be smart to mention the most important part of the message when writing a post. I feel that she probably didnt say that but since so many people are saying its a breadcrumb and you really dont want to hear that, you've changed the wording around. Either way, I feel its still a breadcrumb. She had a moment of weakness after a trip (a letdown of sorts) and thought about the good times with you. She didnt want it and now all of the sudden she does? Something seems off. Either there was another guy and it didn't work out and youre plan B, or something else. I'm not incredibly confident this will go the way you want. Most successful reconciliation take place when BOTH parties are away from the situation for a long time (several months to a year, etc) and they have really matured. They become different people and almost start a new relationship. She was breadcrumbing you and you are still HIGHLY invested in her.Even if what she said is true and you guys do get back together, I don't see it lasting. Were problems solved? Are you guys two different people?
BC1980 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I didnt post the full message on here, but she did say directly that she wants to try it again.... I wouldnt say she wants to try it again if she didnt say it. So why leave that info out of the original post? That would be the most important part of her message.
redbaron005 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 We scheduled to meet this week and talk. What are your guys opinion? I think you should meet with her and have a fun time. Keep it light and short and make plans for afterwards with a friend or coworker. She said all the right things, I wouldn't over analyze them or come in with any significant expectations. That's probably going to be harder to maintain after the actual meeting than during it. Prepare yourself for that emotional high low dip. And wish you the best.
Chi townD Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Dude, I wouldn't either bother. Let's rehash this. She dumped you. She told you some weak ass excuse as to why. It was because you were living at home. So, you made changes from that situation and it still wasn't good enough. Then she told you that "moving too fast" and then it was something else..... she was making excuse after excuse. Now that she got back from her trip, NOW she wants to try again. Really.... How convenient that she wants to try AFTER her return. Did you ever think that she wanted to be single for her trip so she could go nuts without any guilt or remorse because she's single at the time? But, now that she's returned, "Okay, trip over! Still love you, lets pick this up again!" Dude, don't play her games. And she IS playing games with your heart. She thinks that she can come and go; in and out of your life as she pleases. Sad part is, you let her! Take a stand dude!
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Dude, I wouldn't either bother. Let's rehash this. She dumped you. She told you some weak ass excuse as to why. It was because you were living at home. So, you made changes from that situation and it still wasn't good enough. Then she told you that "moving too fast" and then it was something else..... she was making excuse after excuse. Now that she got back from her trip, NOW she wants to try again. Really.... How convenient that she wants to try AFTER her return. Did you ever think that she wanted to be single for her trip so she could go nuts without any guilt or remorse because she's single at the time? But, now that she's returned, "Okay, trip over! Still love you, lets pick this up again!" Dude, don't play her games. And she IS playing games with your heart. She thinks that she can come and go; in and out of your life as she pleases. Sad part is, you let her! Take a stand dude! Better than I could ever put it. She will get back to being cold again REAL quick.
jbelle6 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Holy crap people. The guy says she said something, believe him. Aren't we supposed to be helping each other? Instead you are tearing him down because of how he phrased a forum post. I think I've seen two posts so far where the person copypasta's the entire conversation... No one is trying to tear anyone down. It's just heartbreaking to see people allow themselves to get screwed over multiple times by one person. It actually makes me very sad, our hearts just make us see things the way we WANT to see them sometimes. You may want to note that there are almost no posts on here of happy endings where these couples get back together. If they do it's short lived because the incompatibility and the problems that were there before aren't just going to go away. The tough love on this board gave me strength to go no contact the very day of the break up and to NEVER even be tempted to break it now. 1
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