Author heart12 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 If you are happier and healthier now, why go back, backwards really? Move forward on your own, without her. Because the reasons for me being healthier have nothing to do with her or how she was. She was amazing. They have to do with me learning about myself a little. I believe I can now have the best of both worlds.
Sulayman Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 i think that she simply need time before making decision
Babolat Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Because the reasons for me being healthier have nothing to do with her or how she was. She was amazing. They have to do with me learning about myself a little. I believe I can now have the best of both worlds. Healthier? No disrespect or judgement at all, read this thread, you are not healthier, at least in my opinion. She WAS amazing. Sounds like you worked on you, for her, not for you. Never turns out good that way.
2sunny Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Sometimes it scares me I complain about the games but I might actually enjoy them. Anytime I date a girl is who straight up it's like I feel it's too easy and cast her away. I hate that but it happens over and over. Here's the problem - you like the games. You play the games. When you participate by not playing games you view it as boring. Your perspective needs adjusting. 1
Author heart12 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Here's the problem - you like the games. You play the games. When you participate by not playing games you view it as boring. Your perspective needs adjusting. I know.... it's almost like I crave the massive challenge because if it's too easy it doesn't make me feel special enough when I get what I'm after. Anyways, leaving it a few days to see if she reaches out. She usually does. If not I'll go for something next week.
Babolat Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I know.... it's almost like I crave the massive challenge because if it's too easy it doesn't make me feel special enough when I get what I'm after. Anyways, leaving it a few days to see if she reaches out. She usually does. If not I'll go for something next week. So are you now revisiting your "I am healthier" statement? Spend some time on your own, be introspective, figure YOU out. Sounds like you are attracted to, and probably attract, drama.
Author heart12 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 So are you now revisiting your "I am healthier" statement? Spend some time on your own, be introspective, figure YOU out. Sounds like you are attracted to, and probably attract, drama. We broke up over a year ago... It's not recent. My life is much more balanced now than it used to be. Yes I am attracted to the drama and any time I date someone where there is none I get bored by date 2 or 3 and move on to the next.
juicygirl Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I must be a weirdo, I don't jump and reply to every text or I date like a guy. I hate texting, whatsapp, mess anger services, I feel like a 12 year old texting al Call her on the damn phone, if she doesn't pick up, then she's not interested. Why would you want to date your ex after she had a rebound relationship?
oberkeat Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 After an amazing 1st date....and her messaging saying I can't wait to see you again soon/had an awesome time. Then you ask for a date a day later... and she doesn't even respond. What do you think/what do you do? Recently I went on a date with a gal that went great, it seemed to me. I texted her for a second date a few days later. One day, then two days came and went with no response. During this whole time, I'm flustered (did she get the message? where is she? wtf is going on?) Finally on the third day, I get a text from her that says, "Hey, I can't hang tonight. Maybe sometime soon." How wishy washy can you get? I deleted her number from my phone that day. The point is, if a girl is interested, she will respond to your contact attempts in a prompt manner. If she doesn't, forget her. It's just not worth it. 1
Author heart12 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 We went for dinner again and didn't go so well! Was a nice dinner but at one point she brought it up and said because of where she is in her life and what happened with me and her she can only offer me friendship. She hopes I'm always in her life but can't offer me or anyone anything romantic right now. She doesn't know about future but I should assume not getting back together. She would love to be having dinner with me in 3 yrs to see then. I told her I can't be just friends and that she's not asking me to rebuild slowly which I want but I can't settle for less. I said 3 yrs ago I would have said yes to friends and hoped for more but It's not who I am anymore. She kept telling me her perspective over and over and saying I could take Time to think on it and I kept saying I know my decision- it would be harmful to me and her to be just friends. Again the same convo over and over and me telling her I want nothing more than to take her on a date but she said she can't be romantic with anyone right now (which really means with me). She thinks we both have to experience so much more life on our own before we can think about us again. She said we can't even do friends with benefits because our relationship was at 100 and we couldn't manage to be at 75 or 50 or less. She said it would amazing if we had sex right then and there but it would be bad because then what? So I dropped her off and she said I leave it to you if you want to see me you contact me. I said I can't be friends and to take care. She looked heartbroken about all this and about to cry a few times. She said the good thing is if either change their mind we know where to find one another. Sucks.
thekid36 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 We went for dinner again and didn't go so well! Was a nice dinner but at one point she brought it up and said because of where she is in her life and what happened with me and her she can only offer me friendship. She hopes I'm always in her life but can't offer me or anyone anything romantic right now. She doesn't know about future but I should assume not getting back together. She would love to be having dinner with me in 3 yrs to see then. I told her I can't be just friends and that she's not asking me to rebuild slowly which I want but I can't settle for less. I said 3 yrs ago I would have said yes to friends and hoped for more but It's not who I am anymore. She kept telling me her perspective over and over and saying I could take Time to think on it and I kept saying I know my decision- it would be harmful to me and her to be just friends. Again the same convo over and over and me telling her I want nothing more than to take her on a date but she said she can't be romantic with anyone right now (which really means with me). She thinks we both have to experience so much more life on our own before we can think about us again. She said we can't even do friends with benefits because our relationship was at 100 and we couldn't manage to be at 75 or 50 or less. She said it would amazing if we had sex right then and there but it would be bad because then what? So I dropped her off and she said I leave it to you if you want to see me you contact me. I said I can't be friends and to take care. She looked heartbroken about all this and about to cry a few times. She said the good thing is if either change their mind we know where to find one another. Sucks. It does suck. And, not in a fun sense of the word. This is why it is so hard because so many times, a man and a woman are just not on the same page. For whatever reason it is. As I have suggested before in another thread, the entire books are usually different. When this is true, trying to make what is not there may tend to hold back both individuals involved. I would have been wondering about things when she took so long to get back to you about another date. Yes, I know some may suggest that she may have been playing hard to get. Or, not want to seem to excited. But, I am crazy enough to think that if a woman wants to respond to you, then she will. At least within a fair amount of time. A text only takes a mere moment. You really just do not seem to be in the same place right now. You may be wanting more than she can give you. Or, she may just not like you the same way you do her. Which means as hard as it is, you seemed to have handled it in a mature and healthy way and might just need to move on.
Author heart12 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 So she went 10 days of "you contact me if you want to see me, if not I'll give you space. Ball is in your court. Our mutual friend was throwing this early party at a resto/bar and another friend of mine was bar tending. I accepted the Facebook invite so people could see I was going. My ex didn't. I didn't go... just now I get a msg from her saying "You're not at (resto)!" I answered "should I be?" She said "I just left. I don't know, thought you might be!" I didn't answer for 15 mins or so and she msged again. "Sorry I guess I shouldn't have messaged you." --------- Anyways - I've decided not to answer. Not sure what she wants or why she isn't giving me that space but I made it clear last week at dinner we cannot be just 'friends' if we're not building towards something.
Recommended Posts