Can't seem to shake the pain

[dunkindoughnuts]

I was dating a girl but our relationship was brief to say the least. I really cared about her though a lot which doesn't happen that often when I meet someone. She had a past and I was willing to over look that because I don't like to judge people on their past but rather their current character now and also she seemed to really like me, she even said "you really really make me happy and your an amazing person". Anyway, like I mentioned, we broke up. She wanted to remain friends and I said ok because at the time I was in shock (and really high). As soon as I thought I was getting over her, I see her with another guy a weak later. I felt so betrayed and angry. Since then I can't help but feel rage, sad, betrayed and used. I want her to be hit with kharma but I don't want to wish any negativity on to anyone but sometimes I can't help it. I haven't contacted her since we broke up. All of my friends, family and even my co workers are worried about me and it really pisses me off because I don't need anyone's guilt or pity, I know they want to help but I just want to move in but I can because I'm still in pain and it's been almost a month. I've been going out and partying and trying new hobbies but it still hurts, it's gotten to the point where I can't even sleep anymore because I have dreams about her and how she hurt me. I just really need some advice.

Edited June 15, 2014 by dunkindoughnuts
Forgot something

[AnyaNova]

I was dating a girl but our relationship was brief to say the least. I really cared about her though a lot which doesn't happen that often when I meet someone. She had a past and I was willing to over look that because I don't like to judge people on their past but rather their current character now and also she seemed to really like me, she even said "you really really make me happy and your an amazing person". Anyway, like I mentioned, we broke up. She wanted to remain friends and I said ok because at the time I was in shock (and really high). As soon as I thought I was getting over her, I see her with another guy a weak later. I felt so betrayed and angry. Since then I can't help but feel rage, sad, betrayed and used. I want her to be hit with kharma but I don't want to wish any negativity on to anyone but sometimes I can't help it. I haven't contacted her since we broke up. All of my friends, family and even my co workers are worried about me and it really pisses me off because I don't need anyone's guilt or pity, I know they want to help but I just want to move in but I can because I'm still in pain and it's been almost a month. I've been going out and partying and trying new hobbies but it still hurts, it's gotten to the point where I can't even sleep anymore because I have dreams about her and how she hurt me. I just really need some advice.

 

 

The end of the relationship is still fresh for you. Please don't expect that you will be over it immediately. Don't do what I did and keep setting yourself some kind of timetable.

 

It doesn't work and you end up stuck like me, months and months after mine.

 

Don't be like me. Allow yourself to grieve fully and now so that you can move on when the time is right.

 

And no contact.

 

 

Oh but I am such the hypocrite for saying that as many times as I've broken it.

 

 

Take care of yourself. Though it feels like the end of the world, it truly is not. Just an end of a world, the one you hoped for.

 

What specific and concrete things are you doing to take care of yourself?

[dunkindoughnuts]

The end of the relationship is still fresh for you. Please don't expect that you will be over it immediately. Don't do what I did and keep setting yourself some kind of timetable.

 

It doesn't work and you end up stuck like me, months and months after mine.

 

Don't be like me. Allow yourself to grieve fully and now so that you can move on when the time is right.

 

And no contact.

 

 

Oh but I am such the hypocrite for saying that as many times as I've broken it.

 

 

Take care of yourself. Though it feels like the end of the world, it truly is not. Just an end of a world, the one you hoped for.

 

What specific and concrete things are you doing to take care of yourself?

 

Thanks, I've gotten back into art so I can start practicing for my career, I still go to the gym and I'm trying to get into kickboxing real soon. I hangout with friends because when I'm with them then I don't worry about it much.

[AnyaNova]

Thanks, I've gotten back into art so I can start practicing for my career, I still go to the gym and I'm trying to get into kickboxing real soon. I hangout with friends because when I'm with them then I don't worry about it much.

 

That is a really great start. It sounds like you're doing everything you need to!

[Justaguy30]

I feel your pain, I gave up my career and my life in another state to move back to KS to start a new life with a woman and her children. After we broke up I found out that she cheated on me the entire time we dated with tons of guys, even people I knew. When we broke up she wanted me to just be her friend and continue living with her while she saw other people which in it self showed a total lack of respect for me. Its been three months and the pain is better. I am still really angry at her at times and having to think about the horrible things she did is really tough. You just have to realize that you are better off without her and by staying with her you should would have eventually hurt you much worse than you are hurt now. Trust me, at least she broke it off with you instead of doing what my ex did to me which let me tell you know was horrible. I often feel worthless like ill never be able to be with anyone. Just keep working and doing what you do, try asking some other women out. Go to dinner see a movie but don't jump into a new relationship until you are fully healed from the last. If it makes you feel better at least your ex didn't have sex with a guy she used to work with in your car in front of a bowling alley while you sat inside with her kids eating popcorn....