conmorse Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Has anyone else experienced an ex contacting you out of the middle nowhere the moment you finally get yourself happy and satisfied with life, or have finally moved on? I've had it happen to me, but it seems to happen quite often to a majority of people here on LS and to many of my friends. It almost seems as if the ex can sense when you're finally pulling away like they have a radar or something. Just an interesting concept, let me know if you guys have also had similar experiences 1
orangetree Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Yes. My ex-ex (not my most recent one) broke up with me and we were on NC for more than three months. Then I finally started moving on, dated another guy and he appeared out of the nowhere, started contacting me again and told me I'm the woman he loves and wants to be with. He didn't give up on me for another 1.5 years- Yes, 1.5 years he kept contacting me to get me back. Then he finally stopped and I never heard anything of him ever again. I still wonder if my recent ex will come back too. We broke up 19 days ago and are on NC ever since.
No Limit Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 He didn't give up on me for another 1.5 years- Yes, 1.5 years he kept contacting me to get me back. Wow. And I thought my ex-best friend was persistent! After her backstabbing I went to NC - not a very tough task 'cause communication had decreased long before things finally went downhill. During summer holidays she desperately called every day at least one time. My mother got annoyed and also some pity and tried to urge me to just pick up, but I remained in full NC, never cared for the voice messages she left. After the holidays I was informed that her family had moved. Not far away, so I guess she just needed a doormat to comfort her while she was scared of the changes. Made me even more glad that I'd never answered her. Still, I find calling someone for 6 months after such betrayal to be quite... foolhardy.
Mistercash Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Yes. My ex-ex (not my most recent one) broke up with me and we were on NC for more than three months. Then I finally started moving on, dated another guy and he appeared out of the nowhere, started contacting me again and told me I'm the woman he loves and wants to be with. He didn't give up on me for another 1.5 years- Yes, 1.5 years he kept contacting me to get me back. Then he finally stopped and I never heard anything of him ever again. I still wonder if my recent ex will come back too. We broke up 19 days ago and are on NC ever since. I got you beat. MY ex ex has been contacting me for the past 4 years. She will not go away.
OwMyEyeball Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Didn't happen to me, but it did happen to my ex. She was complete NC with her recent ex for a couple of months. Two weeks after we started dating, and probably just after he caught wind of it, he was texting her and coming up with all sorts of false pretense to meet with her ("I want to return your loaf pan") He was the dumper.
mammasita Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Yep. When I met my current BF, literally the moment I decided that he was someone I wanted to pursue a relationship with. Here comes my ex saying he wanted me to give him another chance. It was actually hard to spit out the words even though I knew without an ounce of doubt that I never ever wanted to be with him ever again....I put my big girl panties on and said hell no!
Tayla Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I welcome those moments! Its a time to say, WOW! I really have grown away from that pain and sorrow. Glad they are well and surviving too! Sure there are a few that if I see them again, I hold my breath, as I wish not to breath the same air as them....but that is few and far between. Most times I simply wish them well and move along. 1
triniechu Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Wow 1.5 years?? How do you even respond to that? Or 4 years? Do you stay NC regardless of how much they contact you? My bf and I have officially broke up for 2 weeks now. But my friends have warned me that he might be back because they feel he won't find another woman like me. My bf was the one that broke up with me, and I tried so hard to stay NC. It was still so new, I was so emotional and I contacted him twice, telling him we can still work things out. I still love the guy too. I already gave him 2 chances and he declined. I'm very slowly letting him go though. It's obvious that he doesnt want to be with me anymore. But WHAT IF he does want me back? What do I even say?
anemptycup Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 happened to me last night - i got an email after 5 months... from her wanting to get back... after i have finally started to let go and move on... i think one day science will show that our intentions.. our thoughts... our attention on each other is super powerful - and that we can manifest what we wish with our intent. i believe when you think of yoru ex - you are sending them energy - and they feel it... and when you stop thinking of them and move on - you no longer send them your energy and power... and instead energize whatever your attention has moved to (hopeuflly yourself) and they can feel the disconnection as they lose that energy you were sending them through your attention... happens WAY too much to be a coincidence. 5
orangetree Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Wow 1.5 years?? How do you even respond to that? Or 4 years? Do you stay NC regardless of how much they contact you? Well my ex who didn't give up for 1.5 years didn't come crying and begging every day.. it was more like on some days he wrote me a Facebook message that he never met a woman who makes him so happy and that he misses me etc, on other days he just send me normal 'friend-like' messages like 'how are you, what are you doing' etc. I answered most of the friend-like ones because I was over him already and contact didn't hurt anymore. The 'You're the woman of my life' messages I ignored mostly. Let's say in those 1.5 years we were once or twice a week in contact. After 1.5 years I told him I'm going to move to another country for work. He got really angry and said 'It was nice to know you' and broke off every contact to me. Months later I wrote him a happy birthday message he didn't even reply to. Ever since we haven't talked at all. Last contact was almost two years ago and I doubt that we will ever talk again.
todreaminblue Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 yes it happens....i had this one guy who dumped me twice when i was younger and when i met someone else he would come back...he did it to me twice then i say goodbye......i hurt a good guy this way......and they ended up fighting.....because i was seeing them both at the same time....i learned a hard lesson and i havent ever repeated it i dont go backwards and i suggest that you dont..so i ended up not dating either and i lost the good good guy to guilt on my behalf.....i couldnt date him knowing how i had hurt him...and what he said to the sod as well made me feel really bad.....because in actual fact he was defending me from a cheat..deb
Mondmellonw Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Yup. My ex searched for me after some months passed. I broke up with him due to some issues with his cheating ex. He wanted me back, I actually saw him to discuss things, but nothing went further and I have been in NC after he suggested to become friends. He wanted to feel like the good guy, like he didn't insulted me and told me to go see a therapist cause I was mentally ill... Yeah, sure.
johnson_j Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Yes, had ex girlfriends do this: -1 called for almost 6 years (even though married) -1 called for 2.5 yrs (she broke my heart - and got married in the rebound) -1 called for a couple years and we would hook up on occasion Most recent one came back after 2.5 years away.
gj13 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Wel, my boss' ex keeps trying to get in touch with her. Its been 10 years since their break up.. Go figure.
biddybud Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Yip, this has happened in my last three relationships. I was the dumper in my first- he came back 3 years later, I explained to him why we couldn't work but thanked him for being such an important part of my adolescence. 2nd- Dumped me. He came back after 6 weeks.... he was an awful guy and I told him to go forth and multiply 3rd- Dumped me due to going away for training to become an RM, got with my best friend to help "get over me". He came back 6 months later.... I was a fool and took him back (face palm). Needless to say that didn't last (think we got to two years after that!). Latest ex will no doubt be back.... I feel like I'm trying to race through my recovery as I don't want to fall prey to any weakness and be a TOTAL MUG getting back in to a very one sided relationship with a complicated man. So yes, they do come back but it doesn't feel like a win... either because there is too much hurt and scars have been burnt into your heart OR they are a good person and you end up hurting them. But that's just my opinion!
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