Red123 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 First happy Father's Day to all the dads on here:). My H and I have had Mother's Day and Father's Day traditions we have done for years. They are nothing grandiose but they are meant to celebrate the parent for that day and make them feel special. Last night my H stated that of course he will participate with our daughters today but he feels like a fraud. He stated he doesn't feel worthy of our celebration because of what he has done. I don't agree with him and feel that yes his A has had an effect on our family the girls are not aware and love their dad. I feel that he is worthy of their love regardless of what he did and that he is still a great dad, but was not a great H. This is Father's Day not husband day so I am trying to keep it separate. Anyone else feel this way because of your A or have your spouses felt this way? Thanks 2
JFReyes Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I agree and congratulate you on your wisdom. As long as he's a good father to your children, your relationship with him is a separate matter altogether. I wish you the best. 7
violet1 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I agree and congratulate you on your wisdom. As long as he's a good father to your children, your relationship with him is a separate matter altogether. I wish you the best. I agree and I have a lot of respect for you for being capable of keeping the relationship with your H seperate from his relationship with your children. Nothing breaks my heart more than when people put their children in the middle of their problems. Best wishes to you! 2
Author Red123 Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you. I feel this way with everyone in their lives. As long as the person is good to them I keep any bad feelings I have to myself especially their dad. I had a major falling out with a close cousin years ago, it was bad but my eldest loved her and she was really good to my daughter so I let them have their relationship and stayed out if it. My eldest didn't know that anything happened with us until recently. I told her because she asked and she's an adult now. Thanks for warm replies I thought someone would say I'm wrong( usually get that on here by at least one person lol).
tornapart2002 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Honestly, it was a little hard for me today Was this ust between him and me? No, not exactly. He sacrificed his nights talking on the phone with her and the next day, when he could have been spending it with his son, he was sleeping on the couch or telling our kid he was tired and to go play somewhere else. He rushed us off to bed to talk to her on the phone. He would leave the house and our son and I to "go to the store" but really he was meeting with her. My son would cry and ask were daddy was and I'd have to say I didn't know. I comforted my son, all alone, many nights, not knowing for sure where myhusband was. Today in church the woman who prayed for father's spoke of men of integrity being examples to their children. My husband couldn't be there because he had to work late last night and I'm glad he wasn't, because he might have thought what I was: Does a man who cheats on a child's mother demonstrate integirty? No...he doesn't. If he disrespects his wife infront of his son, then no, it doesn't make him a man of integrity. And I know it would have killed him inside. So these horrible thoughts ran through my head and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt sick even thinking it all because I know how hard my husband has worked to redeem himself this last year and how much he loves his son and is fighting to be that man of integrity. I also know people can change and I do believe he is changing and can continue to do so. But still...today was hard. Day by day for us...that's how we have to take it.
Author Red123 Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Day by day for sure. I'm sorry that you had to feel this way today. From your post you are completely justified in your feelings. Your right there is no integrity in an A. I did not have the same experience as you as my H conducted his A mainly during work hours and maybe that's why I didn't catch on earlier that something was up because he was still the same with the girls. What he did was still horrible though. I'm glad your H is working to be the man he should have always been, mine is too but only time will tell. I wish you a peaceful evening.
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