Guitarisgood Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 There is a close female friend I am into whom I got into an arguement with. Obviously I have feelings for her and while that is a separate matter, I was in the wrong this time. Obviously I've never bought her gifts or done any of that type of stuff that would wierd you out as a guy friend. But this time I felt I hurt her feelings a bit. She ignored me for a few days. Funny thing though is she messaged me after that period and we caught up a few days after to study and it was as if nothing happened. But we are not on open communication (messaging each other every half hour) like we use to. I don't know. Part of me feels like I should just go with it. The other wants to do something nice for once. She lent me a pen that I've kept for a while so I was thinking of getting some flowers (very basic and simple obviously) sent to her with the pen simply in an envelope (it's a joke between us that she knows about). That or add a little note; I know I can be a d*** sometimes. What do you guys think? I guess the hard part is I don't want to come across as that nice guy trying to get into her pants but someone genuinely sorry while not over doing it.
Dallers Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 There is a close female friend I am into whom I got into an arguement with. Obviously I have feelings for her and while that is a separate matter, I was in the wrong this time. Obviously I've never bought her gifts or done any of that type of stuff that would wierd you out as a guy friend. But this time I felt I hurt her feelings a bit. She ignored me for a few days. Funny thing though is she messaged me after that period and we caught up a few days after to study and it was as if nothing happened. But we are not on open communication (messaging each other every half hour) like we use to. I don't know. Part of me feels like I should just go with it. The other wants to do something nice for once. She lent me a pen that I've kept for a while so I was thinking of getting some flowers (very basic and simple obviously) sent to her with the pen simply in an envelope (it's a joke between us that she knows about). That or add a little note; I know I can be a d*** sometimes. What do you guys think? I guess the hard part is I don't want to come across as that nice guy trying to get into her pants but someone genuinely sorry while not over doing it. Sorry flowers are always nice. But do not return the pen,...you might send the wrong message that you want to give her back something that has no meaning. Flowers, simple note saying sorry. Leave it at that. Wait. (My reply is based on the fact that you say she is a friend, you then go onto thinking that this would show you want to get in her pants? I am confused by that. Is she a friend or not? Sorry flowers will not say that at all)
DArtagnan2 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Why not just apologize and and show you are genuine while doing it. Not just a "I can be a dick sometimes" apology, but elaborate why you were wrong, the fact it won't happen again, etc.
J21 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Are you trying to break out of the friend zone? Flowers seem a bit much for just platonic friends. Flowers (no matter how simple) will definitely send a different message, especially when you're still in jhs/hs school (noticed you wrote "after that period") Seems like she's over it and going along. Unless you're trying to hint you have feelings, hold the flowers and just go along with it as well. It'll make it more awkward sending her flowers when she's already gotten over whatever you did. She's gonna be confused as to why you're sending them and put u in an awkward spot.
2sunny Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 If you admit you were wrong by spelling out the bad behavior and change that behavior over time - she is more likely to accept the apology and believe you. Changing the behavior always makes me think the person really is sorry - the words are meaningless without the changed behavior.
starrynightz45 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I personally have so much more respect for a guy who is able to openly admit he was wrong and who apologizes. There is NOTHING worse than the guy who brushes it off like nothing happened and tries to circumvent an apology by acting like nothing happened. Flowers and an apology are fine and won't come off as "too much." Quite the opposite. She'll be glad you manned up and admitted your mistake.
Author Guitarisgood Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Thanks guys, yeah we are in university. We're the two that look like a couple from the outside but really are not. Essentially I am the boyfriend with out the physical side of things due to my own reasons of dating other woman previously and never being interested in her but lately things have been changing between us though I just do not know how to bring it up as I've picked up just as many curve balls from her to make me think she is not interested as many as how she acts around me as if she is 'marking her territory' on me.
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