Being kind to others-especially the unkind

June 15, 2014

Hi y'all,

I have a spiritual and moral question that I struggle with daily and was looking for some practical advice and actions please and thank you.

What are some tangible, practical ways to be kind to others, particularly those who are unkind and thoughtless, without hurting yourself and still protecting your boundaries?

I do hope this makes sense.

Thanks so much y'all! xx

June 15, 2014

Hi y'all,

I have a spiritual and moral question that I struggle with daily and was looking for some practical advice and actions please and thank you.

What are some tangible, practical ways to be kind to others, particularly those who are unkind and thoughtless, without hurting yourself and still protecting your boundaries?

I do hope this makes sense.

Thanks so much y'all! xx

it isnt easy,many times people are thoughtless with me, and it isnt actually intentional, i can bluff my way out of letting my heart be seen, and i take it simply they dotn know how keen my sensitivity is.....

the adage is you hurt the ones you love the most

and I add who love you the most....simply because you can.......

....i got surrounded at a train station once after visiting my grandfather who had just lost the love of his life and i was really really down devastated actually so i wasnt really noticing anyone around me......it was a bad area years before anita cobby was taken from the same train station, and i knew it was a risky area.......i was too numb to care........my nanna had died i had missed her funeral and my mum was suicidal(she had missed the funeral too) and my grandfather was starving himself to death because he couldnt eat without her...my ex refused to take me to see my grandpa, and i got lost, while he bonged on and drank with his mates......... yeah so i was numb......far too hurt to be hurt again and i had my thoughts of all that i was numb about as i sat alone .....after travelling back home fro two hours by myself.......

i think it was about four of them not sure just saw legs.......they started on me calling me a fat freak an ugly bitch stuck up slut and it went on...no one came to stop them .......i dotn have to try to forgive them, because it didnt hurt badly, it made me a little blue......a little scared ok i was terrified, so i took it and said nothing......i did the right think they got bored and walked away they dont make a difference to my life.....they were just dicks(scuse the french)

but when i care, to forgive is a battle......its when i will protect my hearts fragility and i battle.....ill lash out....but that fragile heart is stronger than any of my protective capabilities for it forgives all wrong......and wants to apologize when i lash out at hurtful things people do to me.......that my friend is pure and undeniable strength...kindness is stronger than grudges .....kindness is stronger than all forms of abuse....kindness is not weakness...in this i find solace and renewal of strength

to hold a grudge is an automatic response...to fight to battle is physically motivated protection by action.and i have said before on here i am not a shrinking violet...but my heart is fragile and is most certainly a violet.i think all hearts a violets.......violets found in dark dank places to be the strongest surviving flower with a delicate wisp thin stem............the most forgiving of flowers is a violet.........to forgive...is god sent.......and one of the hardest thing we have to do in this human experience is to forgive people we love who hurt us the most because we love them the most we hurt more profoundly....just like god i guess....who receives the most abuse....and yet he loves and forgives endlessly when we say sorry....(loves us so he gave us his .....you know the verse nearly everyone does consciously or unconsciously).....

for us to be able to forgive is a god send to our hearts for us to be joy full in all things that are promised to us and for us for happiness....it always started with forgiveness and will end in the sameness....the capacity to forgive..deb

Edited June 15, 2014 by todreaminblue

June 15, 2014

I think every situation is different, but for your typical situation of unkindness, it's knowing that God is in control which takes a high level of maturity all across the board not to retaliate.

There's a time to speak and a time to remain silent. When I lash out and act according to the flesh I feel bad, when God tells me to speak it feels right.

Most of the time I let it slide and consider the source, meaning maybe a person is having a bad day or a bad life. Having known many angry/cynical people I just stay away from them when they are out of sorts...the Bible says not to take up with an angry man lest you become like him.

June 15, 2014

it isnt easy,many times people are thoughtless with me, and it isnt actually intentional, i can bluff my way out of letting my heart be seen, and i take it simply they dotn know how keen my sensitivity is.....

the adage is you hurt the ones you love the most

and I add who love you the most....simply because you can.......

....i got surrounded at a train station once after visiting my grandfather who had just lost the love of his life and i was really really down devastated actually so i wasnt really noticing anyone around me......it was a bad area years before anita cobby was taken from the same train station, and i knew it was a risky area.......i was too numb to care........my nanna had died i had missed her funeral and my mum was suicidal(she had missed the funeral too) and my grandfather was starving himself to death because he couldnt eat without her...my ex refused to take me to see my grandpa, and i got lost, while he bonged on and drank with his mates......... yeah so i was numb......far too hurt to be hurt again and i had my thoughts of all that i was numb about as i sat alone .....after travelling back home fro two hours by myself.......

i think it was about four of them not sure just saw legs.......they started on me calling me a fat freak an ugly bitch stuck up slut and it went on...no one came to stop them .......i dotn have to try to forgive them, because it didnt hurt badly, it made me a little blue......a little scared ok i was terrified, so i took it and said nothing......i did the right think they got bored and walked away they dont make a difference to my life.....they were just dicks(scuse the french)

but when i care, to forgive is a battle......its when i will protect my hearts fragility and i battle.....ill lash out....but that fragile heart is stronger than any of my protective capabilities for it forgives all wrong......and wants to apologize when i lash out at hurtful things people do to me.......that my friend is pure and undeniable strength...kindness is stronger than grudges .....kindness is stronger than all forms of abuse....kindness is not weakness...in this i find solace and renewal of strength

to hold a grudge is an automatic response...to fight to battle is physically motivated protection by action.and i have said before on here i am not a shrinking violet...but my heart is fragile and is most certainly a violet.i think all hearts a violets.......violets found in dark dank places to be the strongest surviving flower with a delicate wisp thin stem............the most forgiving of flowers is a violet.........to forgive...is god sent.......and one of the hardest thing we have to do in this human experience is to forgive people we love who hurt us the most because we love them the most we hurt more profoundly....just like god i guess....who receives the most abuse....and yet he loves and forgives endlessly when we say sorry....(loves us so he gave us his .....you know the verse nearly everyone does consciously or unconsciously).....

for us to be able to forgive is a god send to our hearts for us to be joy full in all things that are promised to us and for us for happiness....it always started with forgiveness and will end in the sameness....the capacity to forgive..deb

(((((hugs))))) ... wow what a moving story (I know the word story isn't right, but can't think of another word), I am so glad you got out alive, but still am so sorry for what you went through. That is what we call, "getting hit on all sides"...it sounds like an onslaught of "life" and enemy attack.

I just thank God it was only words from that bunch, you had angels protecting you... love you Deb...

June 15, 2014

(((((hugs))))) ... wow what a moving story (I know the word story isn't right, but can't think of another word), I am so glad you got out alive, but still am so sorry for what you went through. That is what we call, "getting hit on all sides"...it sounds like an onslaught of "life" and enemy attack.

I just thank God it was only words from that bunch, you had angels protecting you... love you Deb...

thanks pure, it wasnt hard to forgive them because i know what boredom is a vehicle for in humanity ...idle hands you know the rest......, it wasnt the first time i had been set upon by bored boys.....once when i was a child as well

i understood why they thought i was fat, i was pregnant, and had this belly growing i was first trimester and it looked like a little beer belly i know.....and i had weight on my cheeks they were healthy cheeks.....and if i wasnt pregnant i probably most certainly would have tried to defend myself and it would have been catastrophic..i am not a defenseless girl....i would have asked them not to be gutless and take me one on one..........but i couldnt fight so i didnt try

so here comes a forgiveness thing

what was hard to forgive came later when i began to miscarry and my ex at the time never wanted the baby, i had only miscarried due to an iud a few months earlier to give my ex his due, he is the one who had to bury my iud baby, , it wasnt good for me to fall pregnant,i wanted that baby so badly, with all my heart,but it wasnt to be, too much in one rough day for this spirit and body to handle, and when i told him when i started cramping after coming home, he was going out the door, i knew i was going to lose the baby, he said yeah yeah ill come back later and ill take you to the hospital...he never came and i miscarried alone.....but i am blessed i need to add, i carried three beautiful girls to term .....and yes they were his.....i forgave him, and it was very hard for me to do, i forgave him and i conceived again and we let that world behind to try somewhere new.....i went on to have three girls

my life if written in a time line has some pretty horrible times in it, people find it hard to believe ,truth is always a bit harder to grasp and I often get my mum to back me up to prove a point if need to when i face disbelief adn no you talk crap......unbelievable almost to most people if you dont hear my heart speaking....i have had a fortunate life and an unfortunate life, all rolled into one,and if you look closer at my life you will see grace forgiveness at the hand of god in many areas that i am ever grateful for

i dont need sympathy and i dont need attention, i do like to give hope though to others going through hard times....and forgiveness is the hardest to achieve with how horrible and cold the world can be, you just have to try and if i can forgive unforgiveable things, anyone else can too..... so i get real...and that is what my life is it is a real life story written from the heart just not ever one that is going to be on tv that might shame my family or my friends or my exes for that matter they are my friends too....everyone needs forgiveness, no one more so than me.................as far as you go, pure in heart...i happen to love you too....your friend debxo

Edited June 15, 2014 by todreaminblue

June 16, 2014

thanks pure, it wasnt hard to forgive them because i know what boredom is a vehicle for in humanity ...idle hands you know the rest......, it wasnt the first time i had been set upon by bored boys.....once when i was a child as well

i understood why they thought i was fat, i was pregnant, and had this belly growing i was first trimester and it looked like a little beer belly i know.....and i had weight on my cheeks they were healthy cheeks.....and if i wasnt pregnant i probably most certainly would have tried to defend myself and it would have been catastrophic..i am not a defenseless girl....i would have asked them not to be gutless and take me one on one..........but i couldnt fight so i didnt try

so here comes a forgiveness thing

what was hard to forgive came later when i began to miscarry and my ex at the time never wanted the baby, i had only miscarried due to an iud a few months earlier to give my ex his due, he is the one who had to bury my iud baby, , it wasnt good for me to fall pregnant,i wanted that baby so badly, with all my heart,but it wasnt to be, too much in one rough day for this spirit and body to handle, and when i told him when i started cramping after coming home, he was going out the door, i knew i was going to lose the baby, he said yeah yeah ill come back later and ill take you to the hospital...he never came and i miscarried alone.....but i am blessed i need to add, i carried three beautiful girls to term .....and yes they were his.....i forgave him, and it was very hard for me to do, i forgave him and i conceived again and we let that world behind to try somewhere new.....i went on to have three girls

my life if written in a time line has some pretty horrible times in it, people find it hard to believe ,truth is always a bit harder to grasp and I often get my mum to back me up to prove a point if need to when i face disbelief adn no you talk crap......unbelievable almost to most people if you dont hear my heart speaking....i have had a fortunate life and an unfortunate life, all rolled into one,and if you look closer at my life you will see grace forgiveness at the hand of god in many areas that i am ever grateful for

i dont need sympathy and i dont need attention, i do like to give hope though to others going through hard times....and forgiveness is the hardest to achieve with how horrible and cold the world can be, you just have to try and if i can forgive unforgiveable things, anyone else can too..... so i get real...and that is what my life is it is a real life story written from the heart just not ever one that is going to be on tv that might shame my family or my friends or my exes for that matter they are my friends too....everyone needs forgiveness, no one more so than me.................as far as you go, pure in heart...i happen to love you too....your friend debxo

This is an awesome post. I think the people who have been through the most are the most grateful.

It's interesting that you say this (bold)... at one point I shared my story and can't remember why with Focus on the Family (in the states this is a really large ministry). It was to help someone I think. I got a call from them wanting to publish it and interview me. The subject matter was deep (the sexual abuse involving my stepfather) and I turned them down for the very reasons you stated.

Your life sounds much like mine, a series of odd circumstances that most never experience, both good and bad. Abnormal is my normal and don't know what a "normal" relationship is because I was hardwired that way. A great deal of repressed anger surfaced about 5 years ago and much has been worked out and am now trying to change how I view it, reminding myself how good I really have it. Knowing whatever is experienced here we have heaven awaiting us!

You know, possibly even though your mate was abusive (extremely abusive) it could have been Gods will to remain with him for the purpose of having your three precious daughters, and know most would not understand why I say this, but a few years of horrible pain in exchange for your precious ones- IMO it's more than worth it. I say this because many thought I was crazy for staying in certain relationships, and I probably was lol, but there was a purpose.

Forgiveness is such a peaceful place to reside in. I'm getting there and love it. You have saved yourself sooooo much heartache by choosing forgiveness first. There's too many reasons to forgive, your story is one major reason- simply because it's the right thing to do! Amen again for your post love...

June 16, 2014

Thanks so much for sharing, y'all! xx

June 16, 2014

This is an awesome post. I think the people who have been through the most are the most grateful.

It's interesting that you say this (bold)... at one point I shared my story and can't remember why with Focus on the Family (in the states this is a really large ministry). It was to help someone I think. I got a call from them wanting to publish it and interview me. The subject matter was deep (the sexual abuse involving my stepfather) and I turned them down for the very reasons you stated.

Your life sounds much like mine, a series of odd circumstances that most never experience, both good and bad. Abnormal is my normal and don't know what a "normal" relationship is because I was hardwired that way. A great deal of repressed anger surfaced about 5 years ago and much has been worked out and am now trying to change how I view it, reminding myself how good I really have it. Knowing whatever is experienced here we have heaven awaiting us!

You know, possibly even though your mate was abusive (extremely abusive) it could have been Gods will to remain with him for the purpose of having your three precious daughters, and know most would not understand why I say this, but a few years of horrible pain in exchange for your precious ones- IMO it's more than worth it. I say this because many thought I was crazy for staying in certain relationships, and I probably was lol, but there was a purpose.

Forgiveness is such a peaceful place to reside in. I'm getting there and love it. You have saved yourself sooooo much heartache by choosing forgiveness first. There's too many reasons to forgive, your story is one major reason- simply because it's the right thing to do! Amen again for your post love...

I blame drugs and alcohol for a lot of our issues and our eventual break up any beatings any sexual assault any bad thing that has happeneed i can trace it back to that......somewhere somehow there it is in the histoy o fpeopel who treat me less than what i deserve...hate the crap.....truly..... dark dirty and blinking at me going yeah got ya again deb ......demon stuff...drugs the biggest......i have met some people who also have similar stories to mine......as probably you have.......in my faith my story is nothing compared to what some went through the pioneers the degradation for simply wanting to follow their hearts what i have seen been and done doesnt compare.....in my faith we choose to take up what human experience we have a pre existence.......and i chose this life and yes i would gnaw off my own arm to have my kids if i had to do it again..........how can i not forgive what i chose to go through....its polishing stuff we go through strengthening refining to be the best peoples we can be pureinheart...... and at the end of my mortal life i think i am going to shine pretty bright......as will you my friend ....debxo

Edited June 16, 2014 by todreaminblue

June 16, 2014

What are some tangible, practical ways to be kind to others, particularly those who are unkind and thoughtless, without hurting yourself and still protecting your boundaries?

It makes sense but I don't agree that you should be kind to the unkind and thoughtless. It's enabling because it rewards bad behaviour. While obviously you wouldn't be a one-woman judge and jury on what is good and what is bad, people have to realise when their behaviour isn't acceptable. You can see what goes on in the world on a large scale when those with power go around without their behaviour checked. That's the same thing on a larger scale.

The turn the other cheek is a great theory and worked well in smaller societies perhaps when there were other mechanisms to take out the unwanted and disruptive but today there is more individual responsibility I believe. We are all responsible for our society and enforcing boundaries, highlighting bad behaviour.

Being kind to the unkind is misguided, in my opinion.

An up to date example is what goes on in some British schools where Islamic conservatives had been allowed to segregate and influence children. As some have said, you can't tell those who are intolerant that their intolerance will be tolerated.

June 16, 2014

It makes sense but I don't agree that you should be kind to the unkind and thoughtless. It's enabling because it rewards bad behaviour. While obviously you wouldn't be a one-woman judge and jury on what is good and what is bad, people have to realise when their behaviour isn't acceptable. You can see what goes on in the world on a large scale when those with power go around without their behaviour checked. That's the same thing on a larger scale.

The turn the other cheek is a great theory and worked well in smaller societies perhaps when there were other mechanisms to take out the unwanted and disruptive but today there is more individual responsibility I believe. We are all responsible for our society and enforcing boundaries, highlighting bad behaviour.

Being kind to the unkind is misguided, in my opinion.

An up to date example is what goes on in some British schools where Islamic conservatives had been allowed to segregate and influence children. As some have said, you can't tell those who are intolerant that their intolerance will be tolerated.

I actually agree with youon some points, segregation adn isolation is just wrogn all round......, but when it comes down to semantics its simple if you stand up for what you believe you hold firm to your standards and your morals and you dotn back down, to remain silent is often the only recourse, if facing peopel with machetes, the only recourse is to not be unkind or thoughtless but extremely thoughtful or you wont survive.....thats not turning cheeks..its mediation.........but if you face a really aggressive person and you are female chances are you are going to get hurt so minimize damage without backing down, to do that you have to placate and mediate and it takes practice in thought full attitudes behaviors and manners...if you lower yourself i guess you can if you are prepared to get hurt...or take a protexst in silence........you have to forgive people who lash out you dont know their history that doesnt mean compromising beliefs or principles when you forgive them...it means you understand they arent your beliefs and arent your principles.they arent your ways.........forgiveness is not that of being yellow bellied forgiveness takes every bit of strength you have left in the face of ignorance to forgive someone who trespasses on your body or stomps all over your heart without a care in the world...that's strength in forgiveness..........i will fight....when i have no choice......that choice is often when i stand for others ill fight with what i have ....which is i stand in front and i mediate......talk my way out of it....if i can........deb

Edited June 16, 2014 by todreaminblue

June 16, 2014

My father was a very moral person. He instilled in us a very basic concept...maintain your own standards and don't lower them in reaction to someone else's behaviour. Maintain your own dignity.

For example, I never swear. If someone swears at me (patients do this in ER every day to us). Just smile and go about your business. Or,if someone says 'everybody' does something...I'm not everybody, I'm 'me'. I have never done drugs, slept around,etc. I have pride in my standards.

Anyways, if someone isn't nice (we see some nasty masochistic people), I treat them like everyone else. Don't let them determine your behaviour. Don 't let them drag you down. I'll offered a juice container to our sweetest patient or nastiest...help them with their pillow, etc.

I just heard something that rings true with your post from Joyce Meyers: "hurting people hurt people". In your case some try to push your buttons, but do not succeed. They want a reaction...lol, I use those that do this as a test to teach me how not to react.

June 16, 2014

...was looking for some practical advice and actions please and thank you.

What are some tangible, practical ways to be kind to others, particularly those who are unkind and thoughtless, without hurting yourself and still protecting your boundaries?

It's a difficult balance isn't it? Trying to stay true to your life principles and values via your actions when other people won't play nice in the sandbox... A good rule of thumb is asking if a relationship involves give-and-take on both sides. If it doesn't, look at how you might make it more mutually beneficial...or failing that, less demanding of your resources, time, and generosity.

Anyway, practical examples of how to protect your boundaries while continuing to be kind to someone who is unkind and thoughtless:

#1

A new friend of mine was failing a course, and would come to me for help. She'd heard through the grapevine that I had easily aced the course the semester before and was very helpful to my classmates even though the course was graded on a curve. I spent countless hours every week that semester tutoring her (free of course) before and after each lecture, walking through her reading assignments with her, helping her work through her problem sets, preparing her for exams. A couple of times I asked her for a simple favor. She didn't follow through. She forgot. She refused. Whatever. No biggie. I didn't think anything of it at the time. As soon as her final was done, she dropped me like a hot potato. A couple of weeks into the new semester, she was suddenly all over my life again like a cheap polyester suit. Still incapable of reciprocating and doing simple favors for others, but just as friendly as can be whenever she needed something. Shortly after resuming contact, she started asking me for help with a couple of her courses. My responses were brief this go-around. She asked to resume intensive tutoring sessions. I suggested several supplementary resources she might use instead. That wasn't enough, she kept asking for one-on-one help because she couldn't grasp the concepts. So I suggested she hire a tutor and gave her tips and ideas on finding someone. Helpful still, without allowing the person to exploit me.

#2

I was brand new on a job. One of my peers purportedly took me under her wing and was "helping" me acclimate. We went out to lunch together all the time. She would encourage me to confide in her, solicit information on challenges and roadblocks I encountered especially with other colleagues, offer to help me with my strategic plans and department plans, and provide lots of unsolicited "advice and guidance." I quickly found out she was sabotaging me...well everyone including our boss, to get ahead. I continued to be pleasant, social, and collaborative. I learned to engage in her in a far more thoughtful way on new, non-public information and my plans...basically only when it was also to my benefit for her to have a heads-up.

June 16, 2014

I just heard something that rings true with your post from Joyce Meyers: "hurting people hurt people". In your case some try to push your buttons, but do not succeed. They want a reaction...lol, I use those that do this as a test to teach me how not to react.

I'm not familiar with Joyce Meyers, but this is a large part of why I can continue to treat someone kindly even when they behave badly. They have their own personal demons they're struggling with, and it really isn't about me at all. I just happen to be in their path at the moment.

Also we're responsible for our own behavior, not the behavior of others. When Elie Wiesel won the Nobel Prize, he was asked how he survived through the holocaust when everyone in his group died. He responded that you can't control your environment or circumstances, but you can control the way you react to it. That philosophy, he felt, was key to his survival. I agree with him. To try and change others is futility and sheer madness. Focus on being the best you that you can be in any situation. People will flit in and out of your life, but you have to live with yourself forever. Can you truly be proud of the way you behave? Do you live according to your principles? As my mom likes to say, there's never a good reason to sink to someone else's level.

Anyone can be kind to someone who is nice and treats the person well. That says nothing about that person's character. What distinguishes people, is how they treat those who aren't very nice or who are vulnerable. Those are two situations where people's "true" colors typically surface.

As for the idea that being kind or forgiving someone somehow makes you weak or a doormat? Rubbish, I say! The people who've had a long-standing impact on us as a society and caused great change were often kind peace lovers. Jesus, obviously. But even in recent times, we have Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela, and Aung San Suu Kyi, among many others. All were ridiculed for not taking a more aggressive approach or seeking retribution.

June 17, 2014

It's a difficult balance isn't it? Trying to stay true to your life principles and values via your actions when other people won't play nice in the sandbox... A good rule of thumb is asking if a relationship involves give-and-take on both sides. If it doesn't, look at how you might make it more mutually beneficial...or failing that, less demanding of your resources, time, and generosity.

Anyway, practical examples of how to protect your boundaries while continuing to be kind to someone who is unkind and thoughtless:

#1
A new friend of mine was failing a course, and would come to me for help. She'd heard through the grapevine that I had easily aced the course the semester before and was very helpful to my classmates even though the course was graded on a curve. I spent countless hours every week that semester tutoring her (free of course) before and after each lecture, walking through her reading assignments with her, helping her work through her problem sets, preparing her for exams. A couple of times I asked her for a simple favor. She didn't follow through. She forgot. She refused. Whatever. No biggie. I didn't think anything of it at the time. As soon as her final was done, she dropped me like a hot potato. A couple of weeks into the new semester, she was suddenly all over my life again like a cheap polyester suit. Still incapable of reciprocating and doing simple favors for others, but just as friendly as can be whenever she needed something. Shortly after resuming contact, she started asking me for help with a couple of her courses. My responses were brief this go-around. She asked to resume intensive tutoring sessions. I suggested several supplementary resources she might use instead. That wasn't enough, she kept asking for one-on-one help because she couldn't grasp the concepts. So I suggested she hire a tutor and gave her tips and ideas on finding someone. Helpful still, without allowing the person to exploit me.

#2
I was brand new on a job. One of my peers purportedly took me under her wing and was "helping" me acclimate. We went out to lunch together all the time. She would encourage me to confide in her, solicit information on challenges and roadblocks I encountered especially with other colleagues, offer to help me with my strategic plans and department plans, and provide lots of unsolicited "advice and guidance." I quickly found out she was sabotaging me...well everyone including our boss, to get ahead. I continued to be pleasant, social, and collaborative. I learned to engage in her in a far more thoughtful way on new, non-public information and my plans...basically only when it was also to my benefit for her to have a heads-up.

i struggle with this angel eyes, last night something happened to me and i thought long and hard when i came home, so much so i became a bit like an empty shell...

i am a bit of a selfless person at heart and I get taken advantage of a bit by others not that i really mind because i love to help people, but last night i was out and i was happy listening to my ipod and dancing a bit...lol...yeah i dance walk.....and i hit a crack in the concrete(which i normally avoid all cracks diligently),but i had on sneakers that are too big for my feet.....and i screamed no and help in my head as i fell, i scraped the skin off the palm of my right hand and i fell hard,to my knees adn then inertia took me the rest fo the way, it took me a long time to get back up it was midnight so no one even knew i was lying on the concrete face down, mentally checking my body for injury....no one cared for no one knew......and i got back up on my feet as i always do by myself......my right arm is stuffed again and it was just getting better.....but i thanked god for the fact i didnt break anything and have never broken one bone in my body...and people have tried.....

I am tired and am finding it harder for people who use me a step , i am better than what they think i can be used for.....but.........if i go walking at midnight adn dont say help aloud no one will know adn who si to blame for that?...

luckily i am resilient and i wont stop helping people, my heart wont let me, but i feel sometimes it will be ok for me to say hey i helped you now get off your ass and help me back , give me your hand fro i am tired and the ground is hard to get up off.....

first off i have to forgive myself for being what i call pathetic in needing help, someone like me, a soldier in solidarity, who has been through so much now needs help....well yeah.....sometimes i might.....and ill forgive people whom i dont ask for help who arent there at midnight or have any clue i am in need of help because i never ask for it...and if i do and they say no after i have been there for them ......i know who is right to stay in my life and who isnt.....because if i cant depend on a friends help when need it then those people are not my friends...but i will always continue to do random acts of kindness for people who dont expect it because i actually enjoy doing that....deb

June 19, 2014

Sounds like an awful night, Deb! Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.

As you recognize, there's nothing weak or pathetic about asking for help. Sometimes, it's hard to ask and we're hesitant to do so. But others can't help us, if they aren't aware that we're in need. I struggle with asking myself. I tend to be very independent, and I'm not sure that's always a good thing. A friend of mine said it perfectly, I think. We're denying our friends when we refuse their gift of help.

Hope today was a brighter day for you.

June 19, 2014

Sounds like an awful night, Deb! Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.

As you recognize, there's nothing weak or pathetic about asking for help. Sometimes, it's hard to ask and we're hesitant to do so. But others can't help us, if they aren't aware that we're in need. I struggle with asking myself. I tend to be very independent, and I'm not sure that's always a good thing. A friend of mine said it perfectly, I think. We're denying our friends when we refuse their gift of help.

Hope today was a brighter day for you.

smiling....i showed mum my hand and told her what happened and she hugged me.....when i told her how long it took me to get up...

angel eyes....i am loved.....and it was a brighter day......when my mum said to me you always get up for you dont know how to not get up

even if i have to waddle like a penguin for six months i dont stop steppin....wise woman my mum......hugs back atcha...deb

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